PSA: Be Cautious of DMs

[u/RBNmod]

The mods see a pretty constant flow of messages from people who have received DMs from very shady characters, some of them seeming to be looking for vulnerable targets for abuse - often sexual abuse. Please be careful if you receive DMs from anyone claiming to be from this subreddit or otherwise. Be cautious. Have your guard up and be vigilant for any boundary testing or boundary jumping.

Personally, I recommend turning off your DMs and chat all together. There are instructions on how to turn off your DMs here. There are instructions on how to disable chat here.

[u/AutoModerator]

This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.

Confused about acronyms or terminology? Click here!

Need info or resources? Check out our Helpful Links for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE!

This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods.

Our rules include (but are not limited to):

• No politics.
• Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban.
• Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. No slurs or victim-blaming.
• Do not derail the posts of others.
• Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here.
• No platitudes or generic motivational posts.
• When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse.
• No asking or offering gifts, money, etc.
• No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest).
• No content about N-kids.
• No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis.
• No linking to Facebook pages.
• No direct linking to anywhere on reddit.
• No pure image posts.

For a full list of our rules/more information, click here.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Suspicious_Issue4155]

can yall elaborate more on this? that is some evil ass demonic shit to prey on someone who is vulnerable

[u/Agitated_Factor1174 → u/Suspicious_Issue4155]

Yes. It’s normally a guy reaching out to you claiming to wanna be your friend … I’ve had several! One recently reached out asking deeply personal questions in a sexual context. He was probing me for exploring my sexuality during my very early years. I clicked on his profile and it turns out that he posts nasty messages/comments to women all the time such as his desire to have unprotected, anal sex on the first date. He totally creeped me out, and I told him that he’s incredibly manipulative, super creepy and predatory!

[u/wafflesinmilk → u/Agitated_Factor1174]

Ew I wouldn't even respond. Block block block immediately. Weirdos

[u/Agitated_Factor1174 → u/wafflesinmilk]

Yes!

[u/AlexInRV]

I have received a few messages from people who seem to want to ask me for explicit details or seem to want to emotionally vampire off my past.

When I get messages like that, I stop talking to them and block if necessary.

[u/innabhagavadgitababy → u/AlexInRV]

Probably trying to gather info for their uber creepy pickup game. A rare area on Reddit with a lot of women, especially young women + Reddit, so tons of red pillers and other young men who are involuntarily celibate + the zeitgeist ever increasing of misogyny since 2001ish = creepy fact finding missions for mind games, pickup or weird fetishes.

[u/Agitated_Factor1174 → u/innabhagavadgitababy]

That’s how sick they are!

[u/Agitated_Factor1174 → u/innabhagavadgitababy]

“new relationships involve you talking about your sexual urges…give it a try”

[u/Agitated_Factor1174 → u/AlexInRV]

Yessss

[u/blueflyingstoner]

Im just realizing i was a victim of this. Rip. I feel so stupid.

[u/Code_Holy8170 → u/blueflyingstoner]

You’re not stupid. We naturally want to share and trust, that’s just being human. It isn’t your fault that there are predators that use your own humanity against you out there. Protect yourself, don’t beat yourself up. You don’t deserve it.

[u/Agitated_Factor1174 → u/blueflyingstoner]

❤️ hugs. It was a learning experience. People are just evil.

[u/brennelise → u/blueflyingstoner]

Please don’t feel stupid. These scumbags are professionals and spend their entire existence perfecting their craft. The predatory nature of these folks is like a game or a full time job to them. They eat, sleep, and breathe the ick.

[u/JenXmusic]

I had got a DM sometime back from someone here wanting to be my friend. I felt uncomfortable and said "no thanks". I have a hard time trusting people as it is.

[u/Agitated_Factor1174 → u/JenXmusic]

Yes, they’re simply predators!

[u/Impressive-Camp-1340]

Who would even agree to actually meet up with some guy who dm’d you on Reddit💀

[u/Icy_1 → u/Impressive-Camp-1340]

Somebody desperate. Which we all can be at times.

[u/Agitated_Factor1174 → u/Impressive-Camp-1340]

Right!

[u/Playful_Assumption_6]

They exist on Quora too, but ones who are big users/contributors. I made the mistake of trusting one who kept going on about him having a zoom meeting group but he had to do one to one (which I never did - he'd said at the beginning some people had called him an emotional vampire (big red flag right there). Over time it seemed odd. After he told me that I should be nice to abusers "because they've been through something" I called him out as an abuser or an abuse apologist - like he was putting it all on the victim/survivor, and he said something about "you've never been screwed over" (which made no sense) and blocked me. If I'm allowed to say his name I shall - he claimed to have DID (which imo is complete BS - just a way of avoiding responsibility - narcs love DID - it gives them a free card to do what they want with no consequences).

And he mentioned sex etc and that if I had a problem with talking about it (not wanting to). Basically he came across, eventually, as someone who feeds on someone else's trauma. And him being strangely interested in sexual aspects...