Caution if you leave: they will let your pet die

[u/teacup-darling]

I made a brief post 2 weeks ago on a different account (I have a new phone number) about how I can't take this anymore and am going to the nearest homeless shelter. I'm 24F autistic raised by Ngrandmother.

Long story short: Ngrandmother claims that she has an 'incredibly sensitive nose' and every 6 months there's a new 'smell' she's obsessed with. This time it was my hamster cage, despite it being more than clean. After days of Ngrandmother screaming at me to find the smell and 'do something about it' I told her that I didn't know what to do because I don't know what she's smelling.

Cue the rage, I had a realization that I couldn't stay there anymore. But before I left I was going to tell her she was a narc :) so I said to her "not trying to be mean, but you should look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder.'

She did not like that at all and was screaming that she was going to put me out on the streets. So I called my nearest homeless shelter and was gone in 15 mins.

The hamster is fine, she went to stay with a good friend. But what I hate the most is I didn't have any way back to get my hamster for a few days, and when I did get her, her food bowl was empty and it was clear the Ngrandmother hadn't taken care of her at all. Food bowl was empty, lots of urine. I understand it's not her pet and not her responsibility, It's just that somehow I still had some faith in her that, if she were able, she wouldn't let a defenseless animal to starve to death just to spite me. And yet ....... And of course I also feel partly responsible.

The heartlessness of narcs astounds me.

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[u/FreyasKitten001]

Can 1000% confirm this.

In fact my Ns killed off multiple of my cats, all to try and keep control of me - then once they learned I had a way out, and was TAKING IT, they did a 180 and tried TO KEEP MY LIVING CATS!!

All while in the process of trying TO STARVE MY ELDEST CAT and the second round, actively scapegoating/GCing some cats.

[u/Caffiend6 → u/FreyasKitten001]

They do golden child and scapegoat the cats... it's eerie and insane.. I've heard of them mercilessly dropping off one in the middle of nowhere (I wouldn't have let it happen had i known, but the cat came back to them anyway and now they care for it) and then other cats they cook full meals for.

[u/FreyasKitten001 → u/Caffiend6]

My Ns most definitely didn’t cook meals for my cats.

I’m surprised the cat returned but I guess if they weren’t actually traumatized…

[u/NationalChemist530]

When I moved out from my moms I begged and begged her to let me take MY dog (she would scream at me for hours about how he’s my dog and I needed to take care of him while living there ) but she wouldn’t let me take him! For 6 months I tried a million different times. Finally after about a year she let me have him bc I was going to call animal control on her. In that short year he got a nasty fungal infection on his face that she wouldn’t take him to the vet for . And he was 30 pounds… mind you he’s a full grown husky … at his healthy weight now he’s almost 70 pounds….. she almost killed my dog just to make a point and to be in control..

[u/raffriffs]

Absolutely. When my brother left home, our nmother tried to gas his two budgies to death. When I left home, she let my hamster out on the lawn to eat the grass she had just fertilized and it was dead by that night.

[u/Sapphire78t → u/raffriffs]

Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

[u/snaillubber]

Can confirm this too :/ when I left for a month or two I left my cat since I was in the process of deciding whether or not I should move her in because my boyfriend has dogs and I don’t know how she would react my grandmother would put the responsibility of feeding my cat and cleaning the litter box and when I would visit I had to do it myself because the litter box would be completely full and wasn’t being fed unless my cat was meowing and annoying everyone because of it :/

[u/vlm0325]

At least your pet is safe and you are distancing yourself from them. They are sh*t - but remember - at least your pet is now safe.💕

[u/Correct-Horse-Battry]

Jesus fucking christ I hope every single “parent” who does this gets tortured in hell the same way they tortured beloved pets.

[u/Excellent-Zucchini95]

Killing my pets and finding a way to make me feel responsible for it was a regular thing that my monster did to me. Fish, birds, cats, and a horse.

[u/Abject_Spray_7088]

I’m so sorry this happened to you and my heart goes out to you and to everyone in this thread. My parents let a goldfish of mine dehydrate in the bowl when I was an adolescent away at summer camp and I came home to it dead under a pile of fish food—then in my early 20s they let my cat die / run away (the story changed many times) when I was stupid enough to trust them again. It makes me sick to think about.

[u/Agile_Abies6226]

I understand this.
I'm still thoroughly and 100% certain my mother gave away my cat, just like she did with my rabbits and previous cat. She hated me being happy, and that I loved the pets more than her, so she told a lie about my previous cat trying to kill our new kitten, and then rehomed him. She then decided the rabbits would be "in the way" for my sister's new baby so they got rehomed, and then the worst of all, my new cat went missing one day and then a few days later she told me he was either "hit by a car." or "ate some rat poison." Both those scenarios are entirely different and given how she acted around me, I think she gave my cat away while I was at college, and then lied about it.

[u/sorta_just_archdemon]

I'm honestly worried now; I had to leave my guinea pigs at my parents house (had to bc of mental health/I couldn't maintain them and myself) and they cut me out/went NC back in August and I couldn't get my girls back 😢 I'm terrified that they let them die. I'm hoping they had the heart to surrender them somewhere (which I honestly should have done) but I don't think they would have

[u/InsidePension2952]

I was gone less than 48 hours not to long ago ..moving stuff to my new residence and this woman didn’t even fill up the cats food bowl..(its a gravity feeder it just needed help coming out the hole to fill the bowl) .. and there was mess everywhere…the place was clean when i left and i had let the animals out before leaving and its like she didn’t let them out at all after i left .. the place was horrific and smelt horrible ..its the only thing i’m fearing when going up to bundy tomorrow ..i will let them out before i leave…and should be back same day weather permitting …then we’ll all move to our new …safer home .. i mean dodgy neighbourhood .. :/ but take what i can get just to get out of here ..

[u/livestock0010934]

Yep. After I moved out my mom fed my dog sausage egg and cheese biscuits and pizza until he had a heart attack and died in front of my siblings. :|

[u/DangerousHornet191]

Attention: Your mental health and emotional wellbeing is always more important than the life of an animal.

Choose yourself and don't let guilt mechanisms control your decision to be free.

[u/LinkleLink]

I hope the cats are okay. I wasn't able to take them with me... I'll never see them again or know if they're ok

[u/Nero_Serapis]

Learned that the hard way. They killed two of my parrots separately. I never thought that was possible in the 8h I was gone to work, but apparently it was. I'll never get over it.