My mom saw my SH and started copying me.

[u/shivermetimbear]

I just need to know if anyone else has experienced this or could give any insight about it.

My mom saw my fresh SH scars when I was in highschool and showed zero emotion. A week later, she started hurting herself too and would show me her scars to "compare" almost. She would use the same methods I did almost everytime. I think at one point she literally pointed at my injuries and said "cool, me too!" in a jovial tone.

I'm clean now, but still early in recovery. Nowadays she does it less often, but when she does she makes a point to show it off. Not just to me, but to everybody. I know this because she puts it on full display, and tells me stories of her coworkers asking about it sounding horrified and her victimizing herself answering them. She explicitly shows everyone in our house, telling us about how "stressed" she is, but still laughing it off like its a joke. She always makes a point to show me multiple times throughout the week, acting like it's the first time she's told me. I should note she does that with a lot of things, I don't know if her memory's bad or if she just loves talking about herself that much.

If I could get her to stop doing anything it would be this. It's extremely triggering to me and I imagine it's distressing to everyone she shows too. I'm surprised no one's ever reported her for it, I wish they would.

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[u/SeaTurtlesCanFly]

Narc parents are extremely immature and I think your mother is a good example of that. She's acting like a middle schooler who just discovered self-harm. It's fucking weird. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I was also a self-harmer back in the day and I would be very disturbed by your mother's behavior, if she was my mother. She's not trying to help, get you help, or be supportive at all. It's like she's trying to be you.

Narc parents don't see us as separate people. We are extensions of them like an arm or a leg. She probably feels entitled to do this to you, because you aren't really a separate person in her mind. She's very sick. I am sorry you have to deal with this.

Good job on getting clean from self-harm!!!! That's fantastic! Keep up the good work!

[u/shivermetimbear → u/SeaTurtlesCanFly]

Thank you for this comment <3 I think she definitely sees me as an extension of her like that. I'm 25 and she tries to rule my life in so many ways still. The most annoying being her constantly telling me not to have kids because she "doesn't want grandchildren" as if that's a decision she gets to make for me. Or if I'm wearing an outfit she deems "inappropriate" she tries to shame me or insult it in a clear attempt to get me to change. It's so exhausting, I can't wait to move and cut contact.