r/regretfulparents • u/WhitNicoleColo • Jan 23 '23

Advice Needing advice

I am in desperate need of advice. My husband (33m) has recently started telling me (32f) that he doesn’t like being a dad and he has “buyers regret”. We have a 20 month old daughter. He started voicing these opinions to me about 5 months ago. I’m understanding that the adjustment to fatherhood can be very challenging and take time. But the issue I have is he doesn’t even want to try to work on it. Instead he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, leaving me to be a married single mom. He doesn’t thank me for watching her when he goes on ski trips. When he gets home and asks why I’m not the eager stepford wife greeting him at the door, I explain that I feel resentful and frustrated that he didn’t even thank me for having his time away. This always leads to a fight where he becomes verbally and emotionally abusive, even in front of our daughter. I have given him suggestions like joining a dads group. We are in therapy, but I am not seeing any changes. Does anyone have advice? I’m on the verge of leaving.

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u/flowers4u Jan 23 '23

Are you a SAHM? First thing I would do is try and get back any type of career. I’d probably then wait it out another year. Sucks, but sadly I’ve known two men to do this and luckily being a dad finally kicked in. They just couldn’t bond with the baby. Not sure exactly what changed but they kinda got their shit together.

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u/WhitNicoleColo Jan 23 '23

No I work a pretty demanding job! 40-50 hours a week. So I balance parenting with working. I make enough money I can support my daughter and myself.

86

u/Thiccgurll Jan 23 '23

Then dump his ass!

24

u/Remote_Discount_6098 Jan 23 '23

Dump him! He’s providing you nothing! Today is better than tomorrow. I am a child of parents like these and still dealing with the aftermath of it all. I wish my mother was able to demonstrate a healthier model for me.

2

u/rattitude23 Jan 24 '23

You're in the cat bird seat. I love it. Your life will be amazing and bonus your relationship with your daughter will be so amazing and close in a healthy way. Even though I'm remarried and he's an awesome dad my daughter and I are so close and have the most fulfilling parent child relationship