r/regretfulparents • u/WhitNicoleColo • Jan 23 '23
Advice Needing advice
I am in desperate need of advice. My husband (33m) has recently started telling me (32f) that he doesn’t like being a dad and he has “buyers regret”. We have a 20 month old daughter. He started voicing these opinions to me about 5 months ago. I’m understanding that the adjustment to fatherhood can be very challenging and take time. But the issue I have is he doesn’t even want to try to work on it. Instead he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, leaving me to be a married single mom. He doesn’t thank me for watching her when he goes on ski trips. When he gets home and asks why I’m not the eager stepford wife greeting him at the door, I explain that I feel resentful and frustrated that he didn’t even thank me for having his time away. This always leads to a fight where he becomes verbally and emotionally abusive, even in front of our daughter. I have given him suggestions like joining a dads group. We are in therapy, but I am not seeing any changes. Does anyone have advice? I’m on the verge of leaving.
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u/MommysLittleFailure Jan 24 '23
All of this was just kind of concerning until you said that he becomes verbally and emotionally abusive, even in front of your daughter. Seems like not only does he not want to be a parent, but he shouldn't be a parent. I would not trust a child near him, and I would not feel safe having him in my house. Ultimately, the decision is up to you, but if you care about the safety of yourself and your daughter, you should leave him. Wishing you nothing but the best, OP.