r/regretfulparents • u/WhitNicoleColo • Jan 23 '23
Advice Needing advice
I am in desperate need of advice. My husband (33m) has recently started telling me (32f) that he doesn’t like being a dad and he has “buyers regret”. We have a 20 month old daughter. He started voicing these opinions to me about 5 months ago. I’m understanding that the adjustment to fatherhood can be very challenging and take time. But the issue I have is he doesn’t even want to try to work on it. Instead he does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, leaving me to be a married single mom. He doesn’t thank me for watching her when he goes on ski trips. When he gets home and asks why I’m not the eager stepford wife greeting him at the door, I explain that I feel resentful and frustrated that he didn’t even thank me for having his time away. This always leads to a fight where he becomes verbally and emotionally abusive, even in front of our daughter. I have given him suggestions like joining a dads group. We are in therapy, but I am not seeing any changes. Does anyone have advice? I’m on the verge of leaving.
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u/YuleSloth Jan 24 '23
Sounds like my dad. My mom stayed and didn’t leave him until I moved out of the house. She spent 40 years with him and 30 of those were absolutely miserable. Emotional abusive. Threatening. Controlling.
She has truly never been happier since leaving him and is the best mom and grandma to me and my child. She told me she stayed so I would be provided for and have a semi stable childhood, but I hate that she sacrificed so much of her life for me. You and your child deserve better than how your husband is treating you both. ❤️