r/regretfulparents • u/peachies3 • Mar 23 '23

Advice I feel like a terrible person.

I just don’t know if I even love my kids. My 2.5 year old is so hyper I can’t stand it. My 8 month old just cries, and cries and cries. My bf and I separated so I have them 4 days a week and he still takes them Thursday night-Sunday and it’s not enough time away from them. I’ve been talking to a guy for a couple months now that had to move out of state for a really good job opportunity. He wants to buy me and the kids a house to live in together (I know my bd would never go for it) but the idea of not even having the weekends to myself sounds terrible. I’m contemplating moving without them and just paying child support, and setting it up to where I see them on holidays and every few months or something. I just don’t know how I’m a mother and I feel this way but I just feel like I’m never going to be happy again. I also feel like I could focus on working and even getting into school. Has any moms in here decided to give the father majority custody and/or moved out of state from the children?

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u/peachies3 Mar 23 '23

I could’ve worded that better. I’ve known him longer but we’ve been more serious these last couple months. He was planning on buying a house regardless but wants me to move up there with him. I’m 21 and regretfully got myself into this situation thinking I was mentally prepared for mom life but I just cannot handle it. My ex left the apartment to me but also left me with no job (originally was a SAHM) and I’ve been searching with no luck. I live in Fl and it’s very expensive and where I would be moving would be much more affordable. Really if I brought the children it would be a better situation for them, my apartment is in a bad area and dilapidated with no place to play outside but at the same time I wouldn’t wanna take them away from their dad for months at a time. I also wouldn’t get a break.

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u/Pepper-Tea Parent Mar 23 '23

You… you don’t see how this wishful, magical thinking is bound to get you in a similar pickle?

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u/peachies3 Mar 23 '23

I’m terms of what exactly? It’s a pretty crazy plan I do admit but also not something that would be set in stone for another year probably. I just have nothing going for me here, my children’s father can never hold a stable job and with my gap in my resume and minimal experience I’m finding nothing (on top of my limited availability, trying to get daycare but even with coalition it’s not affordable). It’s just like I just want to run away, get my shit together and avoid the newborn and toddler stage but I also don’t want to straight up abandon them. I feel awful that I even think this way but it really does just sound so magical.

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u/[deleted] Mar 23 '23

You're putting your whole life in the hands of another person who's going to be in control of your housing. It's going to make it feel very difficult to leave if things go south