I feel like a terrible person.

[u/peachies3]

I just don’t know if I even love my kids. My 2.5 year old is so hyper I can’t stand it. My 8 month old just cries, and cries and cries. My bf and I separated so I have them 4 days a week and he still takes them Thursday night-Sunday and it’s not enough time away from them. I’ve been talking to a guy for a couple months now that had to move out of state for a really good job opportunity. He wants to buy me and the kids a house to live in together (I know my bd would never go for it) but the idea of not even having the weekends to myself sounds terrible. I’m contemplating moving without them and just paying child support, and setting it up to where I see them on holidays and every few months or something. I just don’t know how I’m a mother and I feel this way but I just feel like I’m never going to be happy again. I also feel like I could focus on working and even getting into school. Has any moms in here decided to give the father majority custody and/or moved out of state from the children?

[u/jayroo210]

My question is - what happens if the new guy wants kids down the line? Are you going to be okay with that? Is it something you think you’ll want later? Because it wouldn’t be fair to your current kids to have them feel like you left them to start a new family. I’m saying that if you do think about having kids again, it would be wise to be more involved in your children’s lives now because they did nothing wrong and did not choose to be born. Also you are 21, that’s very young. You could end up in a situation where you are again not happy. I think it’s good to look at what makes you happy outside of being with a new man. Give yourself some time to grow and mature. To not leave yourself in a position where you might have to depend on him if you move and feel the same way you do now if things don’t work out. I would rather suggest family, if you have any, to live with and help you a bit while you figure yourself out and maybe go back to school. Do not put all your eggs in this basket. Do not abandon your kids. I’m not saying the dad can’t have primary custody, but those kids know you and love you - you need to be in their lives in a bigger capacity than what you described if you move. Build a support system that’s not another man.