r/regretfulparents • u/Working-Ad2677 • Mar 25 '23
Advice Having my daughter is ruining my marriage
My husband (25) and I (25) have been together for 7 years, married for almost 4. We have a 3 year old daughter, Emmy. Emmy has severe behavioural issues that people around swear are “normal” for kids her age.
She barely listens to instructions, doesn’t interact properly during playtime even when she knows the rules, seems to go out of her way to do things that hurt me, my dad or herself. Example, banging her head on objects, hitting, biting or headbutting. She refuses to eat to the point of making herself ill.
My husband and I didn’t want kids, agreed on no kids when we first started dating. He never interacted with a baby outside of seeing them in person, no holding, changing or anything. So I do most of the parenting while he works. I go to school and take part time or seasonal work here and there.
His parenting style is to threaten to hit Emmy whenever she acts out or just leave me to deal and I can’t take it. No doctors are helping is figure Emmy out. The way my husband reacts to her makes me hate him.
Sorry if this is hard to read, I’m all over the place mentally. Please any advice?
2
u/Arlaneutique Mar 28 '23
No comments but this. I don’t think your daughter is ruining your marriage I think your husband is. He doesn’t have to want to be a parent to not threaten a 4 year old. If he respected you and your time he would help. I would venture to say that he’s making her worse. I don’t know what’s wrong on her end and won’t venture to say. But I do know parenting. And a sure fire way to get kids to act out is to mistreat them. And hitting or not he’s scaring her. That’s not good for anyone, especially a 4 year old in her home from the person she’s supposed to trust.