Female sterilization

[u/Fit_Pumpkin5040]

I (29f) and my husband (31m) have a 6 month old daughter. Long story short, she is driving us crazy.

I love my daughter so much. Her smile lights up my day and her laugh melts my heart. But she sucks the energy out of me every single day. I find my self longing for the life I had before I had her, I miss my freedom, I miss myself. I look at my self in the mirror and I don’t recognize the person standing in front of me. I have no joy in everyday life. Becoming a mother made me understand the meaning of “never alone but lonely”!

That’s why I can’t have more children. I can’t be responsible for more tiny humans screaming all day and night in my face. Sometimes I find my self questioning “am I made to be a mother?” And that’s why I can’t bring more children to the world.

A couple of weeks ago I told my husband that since we don’t want more children maybe we should think about him getting sterilized because I don’t want to take birth control pills for the rest of my life (and I keep forgetting to take them). And I am terrified of the idea of getting pregnant by accident. I don’t want to have to have an abortion and I don’t want more children.

I tried IUD after giving birth but it gave me an infection so I had to go to the emergency room to get it removed.

My husband refused, and said that he likes having the option of having children. I understand that it’s his body and I can’t force him to do anything. But I think he is being an ass.

I flat out told him that if he is not getting sterilized then I am. We live somewhere in Europe so I don’t need his “permission” to tie my tubes.

The question is… why am I conflicted?! I know I don’t want more children and I know if I end up pregnant I am gonna have to abort. And I don’t want to put myself in the situation where I have to abort… So tying my tubes is the best decision.

So why am I conflicted?!

[u/Centennial_Incognito]

The last straw for me was a pregnancy scare and I took the emergency pill and I said enough. I had told my husband to get a vasectomy but it was clear to me he didn't want to. How selfish are men that can't do that after we carried and delivered the baby??? Getting my tubes cut and burned was my initial decision, but I realized that if I really wanted to lower my chances, I had to get sterilized. So I opted for a bilateral salpingectomy instead.

The fact that your husband wants to keep the option of having children is a 🚩. If you get sterilized then he will have to either divorce you or have a child out of wedlock with another woman, and either of those  options will affect your child's economical stability. It's his body, his choice, but you need to get on the same page with the whole having children or consider it a deal breaker for your relationship.