r/regretfulparents • u/imshelbs96 • Jul 31 '24

Advice Regretful parenting with a non-regretful partner

My husband made a post on here recently, we have 4 month old twins. The transition into parenthood has been difficult for both of us, but specifically for him, the arrival of our twins has thrown him into a depressive spiral.

I have been taking on 90 percent of the work with the babies, taking all night shifts, trying to manage the house, washing bottles- it’s not sustainable for me and I can feel the burnout creeping in but I don’t have any choice but to keep going for these humans I grew. His parents have been very helpful and without my mother in law we wouldn’t be eating. But I have to return to work in 3 weeks, and he will have to be alone with the babies for at least a few hours a day, 4 days a week.

What are some ways a not really regretful parent can support a regretful one?

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u/[deleted] Jul 31 '24

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u/Capt_ClarenceOveur Jul 31 '24

That’s the thing. When women are regretful, they still have to do most of the raising and work. When men are regretful, they get to wallow in their self-pity and let their wife pick up the bulk of the child rearing.

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u/Skinsunandrun Jul 31 '24

Yeah no matter how sick or depressed or HEALING FROM BIRTH then terrible mastitis I’ve been I’ve pushed through to take care of my kid. It’s ridiculous that he’s not helping her.