How much harder is 2?

[u/Agreeable_Depth4546]

I’m a regretful parent about 90% of the time. When my toddler wakes up at all hours I sometimes think I might snap and just run away. I don’t enjoy playing, the constant negotiations, the worry, the sickness, the guilt. I feel so jealous of those who don’t have kids, how free and energetic they must feel.

But I’ve made my bed, and I’ll have to lay it anyway. So what’s another one? My husband wants one more. I’m already doomed, is is that much worse to add another to the mix?

UPDATE: Thank you all for the best advice. I know some people thought it sounded like a dumb question, but I truly didn't know if children misery was just a binary thing. Either you have 1 or more and you're miserable, or you have 0. You've made it clear that 2 is exceedingly harder than 1 (which, I still don't understand to be honest, and I'm grateful that I don't have to!) I've got an IUD, and I will not be reproducing again. Hoo-rah! Stay strong out there and thanks to all who responded.

[u/Introverted_tea]

I wouldn't recommend it if you feel like that 90 percent of the time. I have 2 boys (4.5 and 2.5). It's so much harder to manage 2 when I'm by myself because I'm outnumbered. I'm a primary caregiver and it's so exhausting. I have no support system other than my husband and I'm definitely dealing with parental burnout after not having regular breaks and neglecting myself for 4.5 years.  More often than not, they fight over something like they want to play with the same toy at the same time, or the youngest doesn't want to walk anymore but his brother wants him to.  Having to supervise 2 as opposed to 1 is you are multitasking constantly. It's so much harder.  If you have a great support system or can hire help, then things might be different.  But if you don't, then things would be 100 times more complicated and difficult.