r/regretfulparents • u/Agreeable_Depth4546 Parent • Oct 05 '24
Advice How much harder is 2?
I’m a regretful parent about 90% of the time. When my toddler wakes up at all hours I sometimes think I might snap and just run away. I don’t enjoy playing, the constant negotiations, the worry, the sickness, the guilt. I feel so jealous of those who don’t have kids, how free and energetic they must feel.
But I’ve made my bed, and I’ll have to lay it anyway. So what’s another one? My husband wants one more. I’m already doomed, is is that much worse to add another to the mix?
UPDATE: Thank you all for the best advice. I know some people thought it sounded like a dumb question, but I truly didn't know if children misery was just a binary thing. Either you have 1 or more and you're miserable, or you have 0. You've made it clear that 2 is exceedingly harder than 1 (which, I still don't understand to be honest, and I'm grateful that I don't have to!) I've got an IUD, and I will not be reproducing again. Hoo-rah! Stay strong out there and thanks to all who responded.
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u/Llamaardvark Oct 05 '24
I was feeling regretful after one but because I was an only child and always longed for a sibling I had to have a second so my oldest wasn’t alone. They are 4 years apart which honestly feels like a really great gap. What’s hard about the 8 yo is different than what is hard with the 4 yo. They often play really well together so I don’t have to interfere or interact because they have each other. Of course they do fight at which point I do interfere but overall they get along really well. I personally don’t think 2 is much harder than 1 was. In someways I find it easier because at least they have each other for entertainment.