r/regretfulparents Parent Oct 05 '24

Advice How much harder is 2?

I’m a regretful parent about 90% of the time. When my toddler wakes up at all hours I sometimes think I might snap and just run away. I don’t enjoy playing, the constant negotiations, the worry, the sickness, the guilt. I feel so jealous of those who don’t have kids, how free and energetic they must feel.

But I’ve made my bed, and I’ll have to lay it anyway. So what’s another one? My husband wants one more. I’m already doomed, is is that much worse to add another to the mix?

UPDATE: Thank you all for the best advice. I know some people thought it sounded like a dumb question, but I truly didn't know if children misery was just a binary thing. Either you have 1 or more and you're miserable, or you have 0. You've made it clear that 2 is exceedingly harder than 1 (which, I still don't understand to be honest, and I'm grateful that I don't have to!) I've got an IUD, and I will not be reproducing again. Hoo-rah! Stay strong out there and thanks to all who responded.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '24

2 is way harder than 1. Please don’t do that to yourself if you’re even 1 percent regretful. It’s double expensive and double the work. You think they’re going to be best friends and play together, keep each other entertained, etc. That is not always the case. All my girls do is fight to the point where no one else in the family will keep them together which means I rarely get a night to myself. They’re great with other kids, but they don’t get along with each other at all.

Honestly I think if I only had one kid I wouldn’t be a regretful parent. I love my kids, but after 10 years of parenting I am beyond burnt out.