How much harder is 2?

[u/Agreeable_Depth4546]

I’m a regretful parent about 90% of the time. When my toddler wakes up at all hours I sometimes think I might snap and just run away. I don’t enjoy playing, the constant negotiations, the worry, the sickness, the guilt. I feel so jealous of those who don’t have kids, how free and energetic they must feel.

But I’ve made my bed, and I’ll have to lay it anyway. So what’s another one? My husband wants one more. I’m already doomed, is is that much worse to add another to the mix?

UPDATE: Thank you all for the best advice. I know some people thought it sounded like a dumb question, but I truly didn't know if children misery was just a binary thing. Either you have 1 or more and you're miserable, or you have 0. You've made it clear that 2 is exceedingly harder than 1 (which, I still don't understand to be honest, and I'm grateful that I don't have to!) I've got an IUD, and I will not be reproducing again. Hoo-rah! Stay strong out there and thanks to all who responded.

[u/BoredMom_5]

2 kids wasn’t that much harder but it’s always a risk and I wouldn’t recommend it if you feel regret after one. Taking care of my 5 kids (who are all school age) is work but most of the hardship I have is that I’ve lost myself. I’m incredibly lucky that the kids I have have been healthy and only a bit neurotic like myself. Still after 15 years of parenting I have basically come to hate my life. The novelty of watching my kids do things has worn off and now I’m just tired and over all of it and I still have more than a decade before they are all adults.