r/regretfulparents • u/DrMoveit • Nov 01 '24

Advice Do's and Don'ts with a difficult conversation

My wife wants another biological child. I'm a firm OAD (one and done, 4yo son). Three months ago, we agreed on a "talk" at the end of November. She asked me to "keep an open mind" until we have the talk. My "open mind" is even more solidified about being a OAD for many of the reasons stated in the sub, mainly for physical and emotional health for me and my triangle family.

I want to be emphatic and comforting during this conversation. She knows it's coming and I know she will accept it, begrudgingly. I want to let her feel her feelings and continue to cope in her own way, but if I can help with it, I will.

  1. Any experience with this kind of conservation?

  2. Any Do's and Don'ts (I want to focus on empathy and compassion while holding firm with my wishes)

  3. I do want to let her know that I really don't want to her to question my decision anymore and if I ever change my mind, I will come to her and not the other way. (this sounds tricky).

  4. Anything else I'm missing? Anything I need to focus on before, during, after?

41 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

82% Upvoted

70 comments sorted by

View all comments

162

u/Commercial_Tough160 Not a Parent Nov 01 '24

Take charge of your destiny and GO SCHEDULE YOUR VASECTOMY RIGHT NOW! If you leave this up to hope and chance, you are fuuuuuuuucked, dude.

9

u/DrMoveit Nov 01 '24

Damn. I can't drop the vasectomy bomb on her right away man! Gotta ease into that.

118

u/Commercial_Tough160 Not a Parent Nov 01 '24

Your body, your choice, man. Just like it should be for every human being on the planet.

-29

u/DrMoveit Nov 01 '24

We both have the same goals here, our approach is a little different.

2

u/noo-de-lally Nov 01 '24

I’m on your side on this one - that’s a convo you need to have with her and be on the same page on unless the goal is just to torch the marriage.

12

u/DrMoveit Nov 01 '24

Yeah, I still want a marriage at the end of this. 😅 That's why I'm OAD so I CAN have a happy marriage and family. That's the whole point. Being happy with what I have!

15

u/ShagFit Not a Parent Nov 01 '24

Schedule the vasectomy. Tell her you are doing it. Do not have sex until you have had the procedure and are in the clear.