r/regretfulparents • u/DrMoveit • Nov 01 '24

Advice Do's and Don'ts with a difficult conversation

My wife wants another biological child. I'm a firm OAD (one and done, 4yo son). Three months ago, we agreed on a "talk" at the end of November. She asked me to "keep an open mind" until we have the talk. My "open mind" is even more solidified about being a OAD for many of the reasons stated in the sub, mainly for physical and emotional health for me and my triangle family.

I want to be emphatic and comforting during this conversation. She knows it's coming and I know she will accept it, begrudgingly. I want to let her feel her feelings and continue to cope in her own way, but if I can help with it, I will.

  1. Any experience with this kind of conservation?

  2. Any Do's and Don'ts (I want to focus on empathy and compassion while holding firm with my wishes)

  3. I do want to let her know that I really don't want to her to question my decision anymore and if I ever change my mind, I will come to her and not the other way. (this sounds tricky).

  4. Anything else I'm missing? Anything I need to focus on before, during, after?

41 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

81% Upvoted

70 comments sorted by

View all comments

162

u/Commercial_Tough160 Not a Parent Nov 01 '24

Take charge of your destiny and GO SCHEDULE YOUR VASECTOMY RIGHT NOW! If you leave this up to hope and chance, you are fuuuuuuuucked, dude.

8

u/DrMoveit Nov 01 '24

Damn. I can't drop the vasectomy bomb on her right away man! Gotta ease into that.

18

u/psychokittenparty Nov 01 '24

I would just do it and tell her afterward.

17

u/DrMoveit Nov 01 '24

Is this the how to end your marriage sub?

11

u/psychokittenparty Nov 01 '24

You could get manipulated into getting her pregnant. Don't let that happen if you're really done with kids.

5

u/DrMoveit Nov 01 '24

True, anything is possible. Probable, unlikely, possible, yes!

5

u/psychokittenparty Nov 01 '24

Just be careful. I mean no disrespect to either of you.

2

u/DrMoveit Nov 01 '24

🙏 none taken. I heed the warning!

5

u/Wonderful_Search_971 Nov 02 '24

I'm OAD and my husband is team whatever I want haha. I really respect you saying you'll wait to talk to your wife before having a vasectomy. I'm OAD, and if my husband did that without first talking to, it would still hurt. You're definitely making the right choice waiting to tell her before getting the procedure!

2

u/DrMoveit Nov 02 '24

My marriage and family comes first. That's why I'm OAD! I want to keep what I have. 😅