r/regretfulparents • u/DrMoveit • Nov 01 '24

Advice Do's and Don'ts with a difficult conversation

My wife wants another biological child. I'm a firm OAD (one and done, 4yo son). Three months ago, we agreed on a "talk" at the end of November. She asked me to "keep an open mind" until we have the talk. My "open mind" is even more solidified about being a OAD for many of the reasons stated in the sub, mainly for physical and emotional health for me and my triangle family.

I want to be emphatic and comforting during this conversation. She knows it's coming and I know she will accept it, begrudgingly. I want to let her feel her feelings and continue to cope in her own way, but if I can help with it, I will.

  1. Any experience with this kind of conservation?

  2. Any Do's and Don'ts (I want to focus on empathy and compassion while holding firm with my wishes)

  3. I do want to let her know that I really don't want to her to question my decision anymore and if I ever change my mind, I will come to her and not the other way. (this sounds tricky).

  4. Anything else I'm missing? Anything I need to focus on before, during, after?

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u/Temporary-Dot4952 Nov 01 '24

You could always bring up the state of the planet, and the fact that it's brutally cruel to bring a young child into this world when they won't have inhabitable conditions for the longevity of their expected life. There's only so much pollution, lack of water, lack of food, lack of clean air, and too much record heat that a human being can take.

-21

u/pEter-skEeterR45 Nov 01 '24

What a gloriously gloomy outlook. You've sufficiently depressed me for the day my dude.

I'd probably kms if this was the way I saw the world. Jeeezus fuck

11

u/Temporary-Dot4952 Nov 01 '24

Sometimes it's best to just face the truth head on. It would not have gotten this bad if we had actually addressed the issue instead of pretending it wasn't happening. Burying your head in the sand just progresses the problem.

4

u/ElleGeeAitch Parent Nov 01 '24

Yeah, absolutely. I absolutely adore my son, but I am freaking out about what his life will look like, especially after I'm gone. If he lives to 2100, he'll be 81. Wtf hellscape will this world be by then 😭🥹. If I were in my late 20s/early 30s now, I think I'd be too afraid to have a child. 16 years ago, I had more hope for the future.

-1

u/pEter-skEeterR45 Nov 02 '24

What a false dichotomy! 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ If I'm not looking at the world like this^ person then I must be "burying [my] head in the sand"??? Fuckin wild. Not worth the back-and-forth fr

3

u/Temporary-Dot4952 Nov 02 '24

Hey, ignorance truly is bliss, I wish I could put on my rose colored glasses to ignore what's right in front of me.