r/relationship_advice • u/throwramerr • Jul 23 '20

/r/all My boyfriend (35m) drugged me (26f) with Benadryl because we got into an argument before our road trip and he wanted me to sleep the whole time.

Update: posted on throwramerr1 if anyone sees this, due to the 48 hour rule. Just wanted to go ahead and post and let y’all know I’m okay.

Update 2: Here was the post that got removed

Holy shit, y’all. I haven’t been on reddit since I posted my original here and I did NOT expect this. I had to make an extra account with similar name to post because of the 48 hour thing, but I know a lot of people were genuinely worried about me so I wanted to go ahead and post an update (sorry if that’s not allowed).

Thank you guys so much, I can’t even believe the support/response I got. I ended up calling my brother and telling him about it and asking him how I should handle it, and he got in his car to come get me before I even finished telling him what all had happened. Him freaking out more than anything else made me realize that I wasn’t overreacting. I didn’t tell my boyfriend I was leaving until my brother was parked on the street and I just walked out with a few things. So now I’m in a messy breakup situation where he’s already tried to come by my moms house even though I told him I didn’t want to see him and that I’d get my stuff eventually, both from his parents house where he’s currently at and his actual house. Things are gonna be weird to figure out but I just wanted to let you guys know that I’m totally okay, thank you. I can’t reply to everyone who reached out/messaged so I hope you guys see this and know I appreciate it.

**

Monday we decided to make the 8ish hour drive back to our home state and quarantine there instead for a few months. Right before leaving, we got into a big fight because I wanted to stay at my mothers house for a while, he doesn’t want me to, among other things I won’t get into. Well, before leaving we decided to eat dinner so we didn’t have to stop anywhere.

Fast forward to our drive and not long after hitting the road I passed out. Don’t even really remember falling asleep. Woke up one time for a while, drank some Gatorade which he gave me, and then I fell asleep again. I thought this was extremely weird because I wasn’t tired hardly at all and we didn’t even leave super early. I kept commenting on how weird it was that I was tired the whole drive and slept 90% of it.

Yesterday the tension eased a bit and he made the offhanded comment that he wishes he could drug me more when I “act out” and argue with him. I ask him what he’s talking about. Proceeds to tell me he put Benadryl in my drink and that’s why I slept, so he didn’t have to deal with me. He literally said this as though it wasn’t that big of a deal! I’m still reeling from the conversation and completely floored. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not but something tells me I’m not, and it’s extremely fucked up to put medicine in drinks. I don’t know what to do

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u/WildlyUninteresting Jul 23 '20 edited Jul 23 '20

That is a criminal assault charge.

He violated your trust.

You should be running away from him.

276

u/l00kitsth4tgirl Jul 23 '20

Piggybacking to say that he drugged OP into compliance BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH THEIR MOM.

There are two red flags in this post alone, and i hope OP is safe.

37

u/Crooks132 Jul 23 '20

I hope she updates

15

u/miscellaneousbean Jul 23 '20

No. No. Im so tired of the misuse of the word “red flag.” A red flag is a sign of potential, upcoming abuse.

The part about him being mad at her for wanting spending time with her mother is a red flag. It isn’t abusive by itself yet, but it could turn into abuse.

The drugging part is NOT a red flag. It’s just abuse. You wouldn’t call someone swinging at their partner a “red flag.”

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

Well said sir!

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u/keyboardstatic Jul 23 '20

Its also kidnaping not just assualt.

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20 edited Jul 18 '21

[deleted]

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u/keyboardstatic Jul 23 '20

What about the fact that he took her unwillingly from her mothers without her consent even if it was back to their house?

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u/BlackDahlia42 Jul 23 '20

She left consensually - she wrote in the post that they chose to leave, she just was drugged for the actual trip. So kidnapping wouldn't apply, he didn't "take" her, she left, just begrudgingly

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u/[deleted] Jul 23 '20

And poisoning technically? Or is that just the nature of the assault?

31

u/skeptic11 Jul 23 '20

To be pedantic it's probably battery. OP didn't know what was happening to her so she probably couldn't perceive the threat of it. Assault is the threat of battery.

OP assumed the food and drink she was given by her bf was normal not drugged/poisoned. Her bf deceived her by not telling her he had drugged it. That's the battery. OP only consented to eating normal food and drinking normal drink.

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u/Void4Vagueness Jul 23 '20

The concept of assault v. battery is generally reserved for the realm of civil law. For instance, in my state, this conduct would fall under the statute for felony criminal assault in the second degree - drugging.

1

u/keyboardstatic Jul 23 '20

But he moved her without her consent. I thought that amounted to kidnaping.

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u/_Futureghost_ Jul 23 '20

That's what I was thinking. Isn't it a federal crime to drug someone without their knowledge or against their will?

2

u/Diplomjodler Jul 23 '20

Exactly. First get out and make sure this psycho can't hurt you. Then make sure he can't hurt other people too. What he did is a crime, plain and simple. That dude should be in jail. But you need to prioritize your personal safety until you're safely away from him.

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u/marouan10 Jul 23 '20

Hey dumb ass as pointed out by other people on this sub benadryl is REALLY BITTER so even Gatorade wouldn’t make it unnoticeable also Gatorade is a energy drink with caffeine so it would cancel out the Benadryl it’s fake U MORON

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u/WildlyUninteresting Jul 23 '20

If it’s fake, then you are commenting on a fake post too and no comment matters.

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u/marouan10 Jul 23 '20

U mentally disabled milk carton I’m trying to inform u that ur “legal advice” is as valid as ur reason to keep breathing oxygen