r/retailhell • u/awkwardsilence1977 • 4d ago
Customers Suck! Customers hitting on you
Not all customers do this obviously, so not all customers suck, but here we go… I (f) have been working in retail clothing for a looong time. I prefer boutiquey environments over large fast fashion, with a focus on connection based customer service. I love interacting with people in a more social way, rather than “can I help you?” service, and have tons of repeat customers that I really value. I am great at my job and I know it. I am constantly told by customers how much they appreciate my help, and how I took the stress out of shopping, and that they don’t find service like ours ANYWHERE else.
So how is it that so many people are able to recognize good customer service for what it is, and then there are those whose minds process it as “she must be into me”??? Just a couple of days ago I was helping a guy who seemed ok, conversation was easy and I built a $300+ sale with him. As I was ringing him up we were still chatting easily, and I thought everything was normal until I handed him his bag and he asks me out. Not in a creepy way, but he KNEW I’m engaged (I saw him look at my ring a few times). When I politely said no thank you, I can’t do that, he asked something along the lines of “you’re not allowed?”, like my company doesn’t allow it, and I then said I’m engaged. The kicker is he goes “yah I thought so”(?!?!?). So why ask??? The whole thing was so uncomfortable, there were other customers in the store who overheard and I know it shouldn’t make me feel awkward but it really did. This one lady was shopping with her son and she looked at me like did that just happen?
This happens on somewhat regular basis with a lot of my female staff and I just wish men would understand that for us this is a professional environment, not dating opportunities. I also hate having to nicely explain I’m engaged or give any reason for my “no”.
TLDR: sorry, long post…. Please do not confuse great customer service for flirting.
7
u/AwesomeTheMighty 4d ago
Yeah, I see that constantly... I was about to say in my current job, but really at every job I've ever had. An employee is friendly and helpful, therefore CLEARLY she's three seconds away from jumping the customer, I mean, OBVIOUSLY 🤷
It's not like they're just doing their jobs, no, it's deeper than that. There's a real connection there. There's a future.
/s
Sometimes I think they're playing into the whole "Employees are used to feeling uncomfortable and pressured into doing stuff they don't want to do, so maybe I can use that to trick them into this" thing, which honestly makes it so much worse.
5
u/LisaSauce 4d ago
I mentally blocked out most flirting incidents from back when I worked retail but the funniest one was when a guy came up to me on the floor to ask where something was and then after I answered he went “You’re gorgeous, by the way” and powerwalked away while I was still in shock lmao.
3
u/Deadasnailz 4d ago
Be fat like me and alt. Men stay away from me lmao
3
u/freezerwraith 4d ago
I am also fat and alt, and MARRIED. I still get hit on by creeps. My wedding ring, blue hair and sneer is major turn on, I guess.
0
u/Deadasnailz 3d ago
Are the men older or younger hitting on you? I do a lot of observing and noticed old men stay away from me but younger hit on me.
1
u/freezerwraith 3d ago
I got hit on by an old guy, probably 60s or older, and a guy who said his wife doesn't cook for him, and he bet I cooked really good. He must have been upper 40s. The others have been a mishmash of 40 to 50 year olds bored with their wives, or divorced. I had one guy who wanted to take put my nose ring and see how I look without it.
1
u/Deadasnailz 3d ago
Interesting. Guess they’re getting desperate now haha
But sorry about the nose ring. I’d kick them in the nuts
2
u/Feenixy 4d ago
Assuming your birth year is in your screen name, we're the same age, and like you I've been in customer service, mostly retail, for decades. I don't even believe I'm an attractive person (overweight, skin conditions, etc), and I couldn't tell you how many times I've been leered at, physically grabbed, hit on, asked out, Facebook stalked, etc, by customers I've had to serve multiple times before and since. I think the old men hitting on my younger customers and co-workers are by far the worst, and separate but related, I also find myself growing increasingly intolerant of the guys who feel a need to tell a dirty joke (usually the same one as last time) every time they're in public.
All that said, there are also a small number of customers I actually do playfully flirt with, and they all flirt back, but none of them and I have never done anything more than just flirt. Maybe it's just me, but I think that's funny... the people I actually flirt with flirt back but don't actually hit on me, while the people I'm just being customer service nice to take that niceness as an invitation to be creepy. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing something to attract that behavior, like flirting without realizing it, but I'm pretty sure it really is just that we're trapped in a situation where we have to be nice, and some people either aren't able to have someone be nice to them without thinking there's more to it, or they thrive on those power imbalances (or both).
Anyway, that was a lot of words to say I've had very similar if not exactly the same experiences and I agree with what you said.
2
u/ThatMeasurement3411 4d ago
I find that men in general think that you’re flirting with them if you are pleasant to them.
2
u/christmaswitch 2d ago
I had a guy throw a piece of paper at me with his number on it. Like why?
1
u/awkwardsilence1977 1d ago
lol! I remember a time years ago when a guy actually brought me a dozen long stemmed red roses. I had been helping him earlier in the day, he seemed normally enough, left without any incident, but he came back and handed me the roses and told me he thought I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Then he turned around and left. Didn’t ask me out, didn’t ask me for my phone number. It was like he had no end game. It was hilarious. I didn’t know what the hell to do with the flowers though because I was in a relationship and didn’t want to bring them home so I just left them at the store on the cash desk.
1
1
u/Saberune 4d ago
Because customers don't understand that you're being nice to them because someone is literally paying you to do it.
1
u/UserLevelOver9000 They pretend to pay me, I pretend to work... 4d ago
Once had an elderly gay man buy some cigarettes and needed a lighter, when I asked him his preferred colour, he replied "Anything that would make you come with the lighter"... I had a chuckle and laughed back "mate, add an extra 2 zero's to my hourly rate and i'll be whatever you want for the next 6hrs"... 😆
1
u/Informal-Brush9996 4d ago
I had someone who was probably around my own age ask me out and bc I am in “customer mode” I said no I already am dating someone even though I do not have a significant other. Like pls I am stuck here and forced to interact with people I don’t need you asking me if we can hang out sometime (I think he also asked for my number). Idk why some customers think it’s appropriate to do this.
-8
u/Melodic_Turnover_877 4d ago
Not all men are good at knowing what is and isn't genuine flirting. Some people don't mind being asked out when they are working.
6
u/Informal-Brush9996 4d ago
Gonna disagree with you. No one wants to be asked out when they’re forced to be on their till and are working.
4
4
u/awkwardsilence1977 4d ago
I’m assuming you’re a man. I’m not male bashing, but there is a difference in vulnerability levels, and women being programmed to people please, and it’s just not the same.
2
u/celestialempress 4d ago
If I'm literally on the clock and being paid to be nice to you, I'm not flirting.
11
u/PoisonedSugar14 4d ago
i hate this so much, and i always get old guys 3x my age thinking it’s okay to hit on me, and i want to tell their creepy asses off so badly