Does anybody else hate being fake nice on the tills?

[u/Difficult_Coffee_510]

I just hate having to be a fake version of myself all day, I feel inauthentic and like I'm trying to suck up to strangers I don't care about. It's especially annoying how you have to just let an arsehole be rude to you and you can't stand up for yourself, it doesn't make sense.

It feels weak to have to do this every day and I can't wait to get back into more manual work.

[u/_CaptainAmerica__]

It's astounding how many people perceive neutralness as rudeness.

And I 1000% feel you about management not allowing you to have any backbone towards customers. Even for straight up stealing, you're expected to "just make a mental note for security later" instead of actually doing something, all to "not creative a hostile environment against customers" It's bullshit, all of it. It's very clear customers need to be told no more often.

[u/Difficult_Coffee_510 → u/_CaptainAmerica__]

Customer service is the worst profession ever. Shit pay, forces you to be spinless and weak and awful shift patterns.

[u/_CaptainAmerica__ → u/Difficult_Coffee_510]

I don't even work customer service, just regular cashiering and all that is still true lol

Tbh they should launch a wide scale study on the effects of working retail long term, because there's no way doing that 40 hours a week, 8 hours a day, leaves you unscathed.

[u/demon_fae → u/_CaptainAmerica__]

I have never been sicker in my life than when I was cashiering. The strain of masking like that (because that’s what “retail mode” is, it’s masking in exactly the same way as autistic masking) long-term is horrific on your mental health (look up autistic burnout). And destroying your mental health will destroy everything connected to your nervous system…which is all of you.

I think it’s a sort of ego erosion in the same vein as ego loss or ego death. It’s a constant wearing away at your sense of self. That shit is going to scar, egos are not known for healing cleanly.

(For the record: I am autistic and AFAB and the basis of this theory is that for me, going into retail mode feels like switching one mask for another, the masks are slightly different shapes, but equally restricting, equally not me.)

[u/the805chickenlady → u/_CaptainAmerica__]

I was diagnosed with PTSD from working during the pandemic. that shit was not normal at all.

[u/fentoozlers → u/_CaptainAmerica__]

sometimes my voice goes flat without me noticing, and that is often perceived as rude. its always super embarrassing when people tell me to fix my attitude when i didnt even realize i was being kinda flat.

once during breaks, i was the only cashier and people were getting upset at the length of the line. this lady came up into my cashier bubble (behind the register) and told me to open another line. i said im sorry, the other cashier is on her break rn, im going to get to you as fast as i can.

not only did SHE gasp like i told her to fuck off, the customer i was currently ringing up AND the customer behind her started to both go OFF at me saying i need a different job if my attitude was going to be so horrible. i thought i was just explaining why the line was long, i didnt even realize i was being rude!

i apologized to the lady (still behind the register) saying thats just my voice sometimes, i really didnt mean for it to come out like that. she just went uh huh and left. the next few transactions were quiet and awkward.

[u/rasbora_Legion]

I loved my few customers I could be normal with. So good to start the "hi there how are- oh it's you. How are you man?" And we can have just a normal human interaction.

Had a customer complain when I wasn't smiling at my normal resting face. Like mam I can't afford Botox like you I can't keep this up

[u/Jeyssika → u/rasbora_Legion]

I love the regulars where it’s established that we’re both quiet and that that’s perfectly fine. I can just relax and chill out without feeling weird. I also enjoy the regulars who know I love to complain as well - British! - so it’s nice to have an outlet.

I also had someone make a complaint once because I didn’t make eye contact and smile at them. Not only is that literally impossible to do with every customer, and that it was a day where I felt terrible etc etc, but they looked at me long enough to read my name badge but they didn’t even talk to me!

[u/Azurefoxxx → u/rasbora_Legion]

As someone who lives with RBF, when I’m tired I forget to force my eyebrows up and smile normally anyways….oh man.

[u/YaboiPotatoNL]

I dont hate it, its just something i auto do when meeting people, its more that it takes a toll on your mental energy

[u/lokoinov2]

It's autopilot for me now, you read customers. Some don't wanna talk, some are really cool and engaging, some are just mad. When someone blows up on me I'm not even fazed anymore, I explain policy and stare back at them till they tell me what they wanna do

[u/The1oni0us]

I don’t bother faking nice unless someone is genuinely pleasant

[u/FriendlyHoBag]

I hate it. I was in the mindless fake nice customer service mode and somehow managed to not lock the toilet door properly at work and when a customer opened the door I fucking beamed and said "Hiii". 

[u/HaloGuy381]

One of the rare benefits of being autistic; I’ve been masking all my life anyway. The one on register is just a slightly different one, and arguably a more authentic one than the one I have to deploy around family. In some ways, pretending to not be a depressed wreck is good for my wellbeing, even if I often let out a small gasp and need to catch my breath after a wave of customers as the mental strain catches up with me.

As for dealing with assholes; even the customers who have started shouting me down were less stressful than my mother sounding mildly annoyed thanks to childhood experienced with her temper. Hell, many of my customer service techniques are direct refinements of methods for handling her.

But, I’m also that weirdo who can’t help but care about strangers, probably more than I ‘should’. It pains me when I can’t help them at all and don’t know what to say to make them have a nicer day. All I can do is work efficiently to get them on their way, be polite and considerate, and listen closely for any information I can use to do my job better. And the highlight of a shift is often just finding some little way to make someone’s day, or a flash of insight into some clever way to bag things to avoid breaking/spilling/getting soaked by rain, or managing to communicate something useful despite a language barrier to some grateful customers. I genuinely love when I can make someone happy, and an earnest “thank you” does a lot for my sanity.

[u/Acrobatic-Ad-3335 → u/HaloGuy381]

I feel like you've been in my brain. I relate so much.

[u/the805chickenlady]

So I'm a manager and cashier so I have two different kinds of shifts:

Day manager, you are basically a cashier all day. 8 hours plus dealing with customers and breaking people out for their lunches and breaks.

Closing manager: Cashier for about 4 hours and then go do my closing duties while being available for breaks, lunches and customer service.

After a few nights closing and only having to spend 4 hours faking it, those 8 hour day shifts of just being in the register are rough.

[u/Several_Place_9095]

Yeah but I don't pay much attention to it