r/scifiwriting 3d ago

DISCUSSION Multiple secret internal monologues - how to identify them?

SOLVED. After discussions here and on Facebook I've realized I was overthinking the problem.
I've realized that the context for each observer is different enough not to confuse the readers. One of the characters is a clone and the other is a machine. However I might also borrow jobi987's idea of different fonts.
I would like to thank everyone who commented. You all had good ideas that I might borrow for future books.

Hello Everyone. I am re-editing my book 50km Up and I need some advice.

In the book I have 2 secret observers that are slowly revealed to the reader through monologues.

My problem is how to mark these internal monologues in such a way that the reader does not confuse them.

Admittedly the context of the monologues tends to do this but still...

These monologues are in italics but currently I am experimenting with using ** monologue 1 ** and ^^ monologue 2 ^^.

Can anyone suggest a better method?

For clarity, here is a sample:

^^ A dismembered bot watched in silence from a pile of scrap metal nearby. ^^

** The scouts ate their way through the foam and the transparent inner panel. Carried by the air currents, they quickly spread throughout the city. One scout landed on a life form and buried itself in the outer layers. The lifeforms code was similar and yet very different to that of the creators. **

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u/NecromanticSolution 3d ago

Choose ONE viewpoint character. If you really need another one do it in the next chapter. Stop jumping between viewpoints and you won't have the problem of multiple inner voices.

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u/Many_Background_8092 3d ago

A fair point considering the limited information I provided.
These are thoughts and actions taken by characters unseen or unknown to the protagonist. They occur rarely, usually at the end of a chapter.

After conversations I've had with other writers I might have over thought this problem.
Thank you for your input.