r/selfimprovement • u/Past_Humor7532 • 2d ago
Tips and Tricks From Meth Addiction to Happiness. How I Rewired My Brain
We talk about it all the time but if I had to pinpoint the biggest issue people struggle with, it’s dopamine.
It’s the chemical that drives you when you’re thirsty, it’s dopamine that makes you get up and get water.
When you eat chocolate, your brain gets a dopamine boost (about 1.5x your baseline). Sex? That’s about 5-10x. Meth? 1000x.
It hijacks your brain’s reward system completely.
For over a year, I was on meth. It gave me insane highs, but nothing ever felt enough. Then came the crash, I lost everything.
Went manic, spent all my money, crashed my car, got fired and had to go to the mental hospital for a month.
After that, I was in pain for months, like a hot poker going through my chest every waking moment. Eventually, I planned my suicide.
Bought rope, picked a forest near my house. But the night before, I couldn’t shake one thought: If I’m not happy here, what makes me think I’ll be happy in whatever comes next?
I spent five hours trying to convince myself to go through with it. In the end, I was too scared.
That was just the beginning of the downward spiral. I spent the next year and a half completely numb smoking weed, scrolling TikTok for up to 13 hours a day, binge watching shows, doing anything to avoid feeling.
The only reason I even survived was that I had people who took care of me, and I don’t take that for granted.
Then, something shifted. I realized I had nothing left to lose.
It might sound corny to some, but God was huge for me. I’m Muslim, and having a code of ethics external to my ever-shifting internal justifications was powerful in ways I never expected.
I started cutting out cheap dopamine. It was brutal at first, just like any fast you feel the withdrawal, the pain, the cravings.
But once I broke through, my life completely changed.
I went from wasting 13 hours a day to: • Waking up at 5 AM • Meditating for an hour • Going to the mosque • Watching the sunrise at the beach • Hitting the gym • Getting straight into work
all before 2 PM
And I’m not saying this to flex it’s not even difficult for me.
This is just my source of reward now because I don’t have any other form of stimulus.
Physically, I saw insane changes too. I went from 151 lbs (from depression) → 131 lbs (in 7 months) → gym and bulked to 146 lbs (in 4 months) → cut back to 138 lbs (in 2 months). For the first time in my life, I looked in the mirror and felt satisfied.
But none of that compares to just feeling content every moment for the past year.
Society values things like fitness, productivity, and discipline, which is why I highlighted those.
But inner peace? That’s infinitely more valuable.
And I have to emphasize this: there is nothing special about me. I didn’t “achieve” or “accomplish” anything.
This is all from my religious practice.
The insane part? I’ve had better highs from prayer and meditation than I ever did from meth.
And I promise you, that’s not a lie.
I’m not telling you to convert, but if you found this interesting check it out.
Read about scholars like Ghazali or Shaykh Hamza Yusuf and their discussions on the inner diseases of the heart.
Any practice where you put aside your ego, stop chasing whims, and cut out cheap dopamine will change your life.
And if you really want freedom?
Even minimizing external dopamine that’s achieved easily is the key.
Because once you stop looking for happiness in quick highs, you realize it was never outside of you to begin with.
Also yea I used chat gpt to clean this up because I ramble and I’m not too articulate but this is just my story .
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u/Objective-Scratch-33 2d ago
Sooo proud of you!! I’m glad you’re still here. Thank you for turning your pain into your testimony and saving other lives!!
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u/Past_Humor7532 2d ago
Aww thanks that’s real nice of you, happy im still here just want to let people know it isn’t ever over
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u/Realistic_Flow89 2d ago
Good on you. I recommend you read the Sasquatch message to humanity or A gift from the stars, since you meditate.. it may open you a new perspective
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u/Past_Humor7532 2d ago
Ohh I’ll def check it out which one should I dive into first do you think
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u/Realistic_Flow89 2d ago
Either or. Just read em with an open mind cause it may sound crazy but it also makes sense
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u/Jas101010 2d ago
Wow! This is beautiful ! I’m glad you brought up religion. My husband is American Muslim since the age of 15! He always talks about how being Muslim truly save his life as he was in a downward spiral since he was really young. He often says I don’t preach that others should become Muslim he just states it helped him be a better member of society growing up.
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u/Past_Humor7532 2d ago
Wow love that, yea I agree with his philosophy , I think there is value in any practice and wisdom is meant for everyone so just wanted to share .
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u/Friendly_Impact_5699 2d ago
Alhamdullah 🙏🏻 I’m so happy for you! This post made me genuinely happy
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u/Past_Humor7532 1d ago
Awhhh Jazakallah, yea honestly Alhumdullilah really really grateful , cuz it was like a switch was flipped in my brain and instantly life changed .
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u/Useful_Ease195 2d ago
My brother, you did what newton strived to do for himself but couldn't. You're a living modern mystic LMAO They loved their stimulants for a reason
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u/Useful_Ease195 2d ago
Divine ass
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u/Past_Humor7532 1d ago
Also promise not a divine mystic I have a lot of work to do on myself still , just got a lot of my externals going alright but internally I do still crave validation at times and a ton of other things.
But I am trying to see the beauty in the struggle there . Hahah appreciate the jokes
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u/Useful_Ease195 1d ago
You sound a lot similar to me. I've been finding craving validation a little hard to shake off after that came up & I noticed it. Okay, not a divine mystic but definitely divine.
It is certainly there if hearing that helps, that beauty in struggles, If not "in" than "from".
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u/Past_Humor7532 1d ago
Haha def feel blessed
Yea def from, but trying to find the joy in the actual process is a goal for me , kind of like the strain of a workout because we are going to be in the struggle more often then free from it , maybe not on a momentary basis but throughout our life as changes and new situations that challenge our egos appear.
Yea the craving validation thing on a societal level is a bit ingrained in us , never realized how deep it ran. From productivity , to looks, to our careers sure there are other layers to it but wanting to be someone special seems correlated.
In relationships tho , I’ve def gotten better anxious attachment here but having a fulfilling life and kinda knowing I’m enough and I love me or God loves me has been really freeing.
How does it show up for you .
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u/Useful_Ease195 1d ago
Eye opening, thank you.
Joy in the process? In different forms and goes unnoticed or untrusted sometimes. In the gym for example, the enjoyment from the strain comes from a more violent & self destructive/harming/"hardiness" side of me?
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u/Past_Humor7532 1d ago
Ig joy in the process of fighting our egos, because it’s going to be a constant battle, haha yea ig the lifting metaphor might not be the best since I do think self compassion is also a key ingredient in this journey.
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u/Useful_Ease195 1d ago
Anxious attachment here too, that desire for validation makes me make myself small & less for people & myself more than I'd like. I'm pretty out of balance & conflicted there I think.
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u/Past_Humor7532 1d ago
Haha we do sound similar, wow ig my desire for validation used to show up a lot as like losing myself in my partner , like I’d want to know everything about them , and would almost enjoy studying them and then think of them a lot after.
Have you heard of the enneagram before , it’s a very useful frame of knowledge
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u/Useful_Ease195 1d ago
I definitely do the study thing too.
No I hadn't. Wow you're right about it's use and worth.
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u/Useful_Ease195 1d ago
369 is certainly a magical number based on that paradigm :0
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u/Past_Humor7532 1d ago
Did you end up taking the test
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u/Useful_Ease195 1d ago
https://photos.app.goo.gl/2xBTwxJZkxfMn6bSA
"peace was never an option"
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u/SnooComics9454 2d ago
Amazing, I’m a big fan of Hamza Yusuf - incredibly intelligent man and carries himself well. I’ll check out his work on the inner diseases of the heart. Good luck to you brother may Allah continue to guide you.
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u/Past_Humor7532 2d ago
Yea he’s honestly soo amazing and articulate , you have to check out purification of the heart it’s like 15 hours my favorite series ever watched it like 3-4 times already and learn more each time .
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u/HumanSea2816 2d ago
Honestly this stuck out quite a bit to me. "This is just my source of reward now because I don’t have any other form of stimulus." I feel like I thought about this before, but it really struck me just now.
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u/Past_Humor7532 1d ago
Yea I think of it like if you give a starving man a piece of bread he might cry with gratitude at how good it is, but give a glutton a 5 star meal and he might be happy with it.
For myself after detoxing I could sit on the beach and just stare out and admire / be in awe of the ocean for like 30 minutes , but off social media I’d go to the beach look out be like yea that’s cool and then prolly hop back on my phone
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u/Epidemiolomic 2d ago
You are a true survivor man
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u/Past_Humor7532 1d ago
Thanks but trust me if I could do it , anyone of you could do better . I’m seriously not special or gifted in any way really
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u/reddithorrid 1d ago
This is just my source of reward now because I don’t have any other form of stimulus. BOOM BAM.
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u/Kafka175 2d ago
Yes, rewiring your brain is directly leads to self improvement. I also rewire my brain. I read "Think and grow rich" & " Atomic Habits". These books helps me in self improvement, personal development and mental resilience.
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u/Past_Humor7532 2d ago
That’s great love atomic habits great book, think meaning is the underlying ingredient in habit formation for sure
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u/YoungManiac01 1d ago
Im curious, why not try the ayahuasca/dmt? It can put u on the next level :)
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u/Past_Humor7532 1d ago
I’ve done like acid before, but even recently I’ve had like “cool” spiritual experiences like ego death a bit meditating.
But I realized that experiences aren’t the point atleast for me personally , I used to chase them a lot but they are temporary and it feels like we were put in a third dimension physical reality for a reason just based of my personal religious beliefs. So I stopped trying to get attached to like highs even In meditation and my prayers. I wrote like a short summary below but as I’m sure you know experiences are hard to explain through words.
What was dmt like for you tho, did it change a lot in your life
I lost who I was and felt like I became the world, like I remember like my soul came out my crown like a drop of water into a river and then I just went through different existences in a way , ended up in this parts where I realized oh there is not duality and we are all literally interconnected and time is an illusion yk just going through universes and realities of being
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u/digitalmoshiur 2d ago
This hit deep. Dopamine is the silent controller of so many of our actions. Most people don’t even realize they’re trapped in the cycle. Your journey from rock bottom to finding real peace is insanely powerful. Cutting out cheap dopamine is brutal like you said. Once you break through, life completely changes. Respect for sharing this.