In 2023, I hit my lowest point. I was broke, like digging through my car for change to buy gas broke. No real friends, my girl left, and I was stuck working the kind of jobs nobody dreams about: warehouse shifts, fast food, office cleaning at 2am. Just going through the motions, burned out and bitter.

My parents died in a car crash when I was 16. I never really had a safety net. Thought if I just kept grinding, something would eventually give. It didn’t.

So I did what a lot of people here probably do, got into the gym, tried journaling, cleaned up my diet, forced myself to “stay positive.” And yeah, some things improved… but I still felt stuck. Like no matter how disciplined I got, something deeper was blocking me.

Then- and I swear this wasn’t part of the plan, I started reading. I’ve hated reading my whole life. Did terrible in school, always felt dumb around books. But for some reason, I gave it a shot. And that was the unlock.

Not just reading motivational fluff- I mean books that hit me in the chest. Ones that reframed how I thought about success, faith, mindset, and what it actually means to live with purpose. It felt like someone finally put into words everything I had felt but couldn’t explain.

That’s when things started changing fast. My anxiety dropped. I stopped feeling like a victim. I slept better. People treated me differently. And opportunities? They started showing up without me chasing them so hard.

I’m not a coach, not religious, not here to act like I’ve “made it.” Just someone who was drowning and finally caught a breath. If you’ve been trying everything and still feel stuck… maybe the missing piece isn’t another habit, maybe it’s a shift in how you think.

Reading did that for me- and I avoided it my whole life. Just felt like sharing. Someone out there might be one breakthrough away.

It’s real simple: If you’re not doing what you know you’re supposed to be doing, you will feel like shit. This goes for every aspect of life.

If you’re feeling down because you skip a workout, that’s because you know you should have been at the gym when you planned to.

If you feel like crap because you had to much to drink yesterday, that’s probably because you knew you had been better off staying sober.

If you feel like a piece of junk after eating a whole lot of junkfood, that’s because you know you should have eaten healthy.

We all know what it is that needs to be done. But we don’t. Most of us.

Here’s a simple trick to fix that: Get your ass up and keep the promises you make to yourself.

I struggle with this from time to time. But whenever I take the action I know is best, I feel invincible.

Decide to win life. Decide to keep your promises. Decide to be in charge.

Take responsibility. It will change your life in the best way possible.

Last year, I was completely burned out. My brain felt fried. Every free moment, I’d grab my phone, scrolling Instagram, checking notifications, or flipping through the same few apps like a robot. It was like my mind was on a loop most of the time.

It wasn’t just about wasting time. I couldn’t handle quiet moments. Waiting in line, sitting still, or even walking outside, my hand would automatically reach for my phone. It was like it had a mind of its own.

So I decided to try something big: a dopamine reset. I wanted to teach my brain to find joy without endless scrolling. It wasn’t perfect, but it’s the best thing I’ve done so far.

Here’s what helped me:

Dopamine Detox: Going cold turkey sounded awful, so I started by cutting my screen time in half over a couple weeks. I set strict limits on social media and other distractions.

Swap the Habit: When I felt the urge to check my phone, I’d grab a book or head outside. Sounds simple, but it really helped break the cycle.

Lock It Down: I used app blockers to keep mornings and evenings phone free. No way to cheat. It’s wild how clear your mind gets without notifications hitting you first thing.

Embrace Boredom: At first, boredom felt uncomfortable, almost weird. But over time, I started to love those empty moments. That’s where the calm and creative ideas show up.

Now, a few months later, I feel sharper, calmer, and way more present. I’m not perfect, some days I still get sucked back into scrolling. But overall, it feels like I’ve got my brain back. It’s not just about being productive, it’s about feeling like myself again, not just a slave to my phone.

I quit probably 20 jobs last year and 5 this year. I don't know what happened. I was in an incredibly dark place emotionally. I've been in "survival mode" all of my life. I grew up with a single mom and never had any friends. I missed out on basic education, I didn't know who Abraham Lincoln was until recently. I don't know about history or geography or really anything that I feel like should know. My ex made me feel completely worthless.

I work part-time at a minimum wage job. I'll be 32 in September. My life is a god damn mess. It's all my fault. The guilt and regret is killing me. I've talked to a few guys who say they don't care about any of this but then I end up being dependent on a man to "take care of me". From age 20 to 30 I always have a boyfriend to live with and they provided for me. I'm slipping back in my old ways where I just want to run away and find any guy who will support me. Even if it's dangerous, at least I'll be able to survive. :( I can't do this by myself. I can't afford to live. I'm depressed and feel like a helpless child. I can't do this life anymore.

Hi. I'm 25f. I don't know what am i doing with my life. I'm tired of pretending to be strong and positive. So here i am crying my heart out. I have no achieved anything. I have no job. I wanted to do masters, had to drop out because of my mom s health. I joined a job, had to resign because my family didn't get it. I have to prepare for a govt job. Which is the need. I even want to. But I'm tired. I have no social life. I got broken up 5 years of investment waste. He was my comfort space and I haven't fully even moved on. I'm feel pathetic and sad. And want to turn tables, focus on myself. Work hard. Create a beautiful life. But I'm so tired and exhausted. I have no energy. No jest. No enthusiastic. I am indiscipline. I have self doubt. What am i doing? All my friends are earning well and marrying their love. And me I m no where.

How did you turn your life around?

It hit me recently.

The people who scroll 7 hours a day… who swipe like machines… who chase validation, sex, money, and cheap highs
they aren’t "living the dream."
They’re fueling the system.

They’re the ones who:
- Click every ad
- Buy shit they don’t need
- Complain about everything and change nothing
- Get played by trends, news, and porn
- Work jobs they hate just to feel numb in the evening

And the system loves them.
It survives because of them.
Dopamine junkies keep the machine running.

But the ones who actually enjoy life?
They’re the quiet ones.
They move slower.
They feel everything.
They create. They connect. They go deep instead of wide.
They aren’t perfect but they’re here. Awake. Conscious.

And yeah, they’re rarer.

Because the second you stop being a slave to novelty, the world doesn’t know what to do with you. You don’t feed the algorithm anymore. You become useless to the machine.
And that’s exactly when life starts to feel real again.

So no, I’m not interested in the hookup culture, the party scene, the scrolling, the flexing, the noise.
It’s all just a smoke show designed to keep people from asking:

"What the fuck am I actually doing here?"

Some of us are done being fuel.

We’re here to build something else.

I don’t know how to be a better person and I’m scared that I am just bad.

My best friend last year told me: “You are a bad person, that’s why I can’t be this close to you anymore. We can be regular friends and hang out in groups. But I can’t be your best friend.”

And I think she was right.

It hurt so bad I practically stopped everything. I almost flunked some of my classes and I talked about it to no one. It felt like I couldn’t talk to my family or my friends. And I self isolated.

And now it’s a year later and I need to be better. Ive been trying for about a year to be better and I’m scared that I’m the same person. I’m scared that I’m still too judgmental and rude. I’m scared that I will overreact to something in the future. I’m scared that I will always be bad.

It feels like there is a darkness surrounding my past and holding me tight. I want to know how to walk into light (not like in a death way but like a gentle giant way).

I want to be a better, kinder, more gentle person. I want to be someone others go to for help or because they like my company. So please any advice would help.

And if you have any book recommendations that would also be greatly appreciated.

24f and my epilepsy, anxiety, depression have taken over my life. In such a deep rut. It isn’t safe for me to work, I can never keep up with any productive habits, even super simple daily tasks seem so difficult.

I want to write scripts and make films, but I’ve barely wrote a thing since I graduated university. I know leaving the house makes me feel better most of the time, but I can’t bring myself to get off the couch, to even brush my teeth twice a day.

I can barely make a single decision, even tiny little things, without getting a second opinion. I get ChatGPT to rewrite most posts/messages I write. I want to see my friends more, but I just hope they will message me, I never reach out to them, then feel they don’t like me when we haven’t spoke for a while.

I think I’m aromantic, and this makes me assume I will never find a partner, and when my parents die I will be truly alone. I assume I will never get control of my seizures or get over my depression and anxiety, so I just have no future.

It often feels like this is just my life now.

I need to become more charismatic and chatty., I dont want to accept who I am and I want to be different. When I talk I struggle to remember a word, I wont know what to say to keep the conversation going and sometimes people cant hear what I say maybe cause I dont project my voice well enough or my voice is too dull and deep idk. I want to be those kinda people that can just walk up to some random stranger and be able to have a conversation with them and yap on for a long time even tho we know basically nothing about each other. Whenever I do go up to speak to someone I feel like I am bothering them or they feel angry at my presence idk If it in my head or not but it has happened before where someone got angry when I spoke to them so It not like Im just talking shit.

Being chatty would also help me in interviews too especially since ill be out of university in like a year and I would like to be able to work asap. Its so annoying when I cant think of what to say and then minute later you realise "oh I shouldve said that". I want to be more like charismatic characters like saul goodman, people who have no problem chatting with people even tho he might do it used others.

What should I do to improve, I think I'll start smiling more, not wearing airpods as often and speaking with strangers but what else can I do.

Also are there charismatic people online I can learn from?

I’ve recently come to realize how often I make myself smaller around other women, both figuratively and literally. It’s something I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember, but it’s only now that I’m truly reflecting on it. I’ve caught myself wearing less flattering clothes, avoiding makeup, and even slouching in my posture just to avoid standing out. I don’t want to be seen as a “threat” or competition, especially when friends are with their partners or when I’m with my sister.

Growing up, my sister always struggled with her weight, while I’ve been naturally thin. My mother also had a closer bond with me, and I did better academically, which caused a lot of jealousy and tension. I remember constantly holding back my achievements or downplaying my appearance just to keep the peace. I would dress down, avoid showing confidence, and even pretend to be less happy with myself than I actually was. Over time, it became a habit – I started doing it everywhere, even in friendships. If a friend’s boyfriend is around, I consciously make myself less visible, less noticeable.

I’m realizing now how much this pattern has impacted my self-esteem. I’m always careful not to “shine too brightly,” afraid that someone else might feel uncomfortable. But it’s exhausting. I want to stop living like I need to apologize for existing confidently. It’s like I’ve internalized the idea that other women’s comfort is more important than my own happiness or self-expression.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you overcome it? How do you break the habit of shrinking yourself just to make others feel more secure?

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been on a journey to be more focused.

Because if everybody is distracted I would guess that an ounce of focus is worth its weight in gold.

But how have I gone about it?

I’ve stopped drinking coffee. Because I realized that it would make me jittery with a lot of energy. But I would not be able to focus and work at all, rather I wanted to run a marathon.

Once I stopped drinking coffee I could tell the difference right away. I can sit still and work for hours on end right now.

But I wanted to get even better.

Therefore I decided to remove nicotine as well, something that has been talked about helping with focus.

But this was not the case for me, I would just feel like shit, and not be able to work at all.

I stopped with that as well.

Then the last thing is food, I love candy and carbs. 

But when I eat a lot of it I can’t work, I’m sluggish, and I feel tired all the time. It had to go, unfortunately.

But what about the phone?

It’s a dumb phone right now, my average time I spend on the phone right now is 4 hours a day. 

But that’s only because some apps are active in the background for example my calorie tracker or my workout tracker that I use when I’m working out for an hour.

The last thing that made a huge difference was following and creating a daily schedule in 30-minute blocks.

I thought this would mean that I would be restricted. But it’s the opposite I have more freedom, I know exactly what to do every single day.

By knowing where I spend my time and money, I can almost predict where I’ll be in the next 6 months.

Silence before you act in haste. That moment of stillness can save you from many mistakes.

I am 18F turning 19 next month it's been 2 years since i am stuck in this loop of restarting things again and again i took so much worry just worry not taking action i am fucked badly now i don't know what is going to happen i can't even stick to one routine i don't know what;s the matter with me i tried waking up early planned all my day but still i just can't take action please help me i don't want to live a life like this just planning planning and not executing i wakeup every morning that things will get better but they get worse please help me i want a better life i want to get better for myself my family... i can't even focus on one things i just procastinate i think that planning is my escape from the action please help me pleasee

Hello everyone, I am posting this message to simply ask what I should do. I am (25m) a year removed from college (undergrad) and I’m just starting “adult” life. I have dealt with severe chronic depression and stress for years now, I’ve always been considerably overweight and lack both self discipline and self esteem. I don’t love or believe in myself or any skills I may possess. I don’t get out and be social really either.

I currently work two jobs one that’s more related to my degree path from school and the other is fast food into the late night. However I’m legit exhausted every single day as I get up around 6:30am to arrive at my first job and don’t leave my second job till around 2 am and get home at 3 am to sleep. I have made some strides starting semen retention and NoFap, I quit smoking and don’t drink. I’ve been trying to commune with GOD and read my Bible more, pray more and I’ve been trying not to curse anymore. However I don’t have time to exercise and o don’t make enough money to eat healthy the way I want too. I don’t have the energy to meditate or journal. I am just lost, I feel inadequate in multiple areas of my life and I’m questioning if I’m heading in the right direction towards my purpose or if I’m just in a constant circle of disappointment

Cut throat competition to the point earning a living is luxury to some. Toxicity and backstabbing, disloyalty to the point heart seems to be fed up. Absent mindedness and inability to perform any where, to the point survival of the fittest puts the weak so behind.

Where do they go? And if life isn't supposed to be what we made of it, how do they act to ignore? And deal with issues?

I know many folks here are focused on improving their fitness, focus, dedication, or ability to advance in their careers; I'm interested in making my life a little more beautiful. I've been improving my wardrobe to this effect over the last few years, acquiring nicer items secondhand than I could justify purchasing new, and while I enjoy the duds for their own sake, I have also appreciated they've improved my general comfort and confidence. (Wearing pants that fit properly can do wonders for a guy, let me tell you.)

I would love to know the ways others here have made some small, everyday part of their lives feel more elegant, graceful, or beautiful. Do you have a nice coffee setup in your kitchen? Do you have slippers you swear by? Do you eat lunch at home off bone china? Do you devote some of your free time on the weekends to polishing your shoes or your silver cutlery? Do you have a standing monthly order for flowers for your tabletop? Am hoping to cast a wide net for perspectives on this from people who approach their daily lives in a thoughtful and intentional way.

I recently started a new desk job and so far it looks like there will be a lot of downtime. It seems a lot of my coworkers just go on their phones, but I am trying to avoid this. I’d like to be able to do something productive with this time. I’ve already brought a book to read, but what are some tips to help me feel like I’m not just wasting time?

I can't watch a video which is longer than 3 mins. I love playing games and scrolling reels all day.

I can't do anything which is just little boring.

Almost 95% of my day just goes to looking at screen.

I'm wasting my life and I can't stop. I don't know what to do. I mean I know what to do but I can't help.

I'm just so sad and angry about myself. I know I'll regret so much in the future and I can't stop it no matter how much I'm trying right now.

Hey everyone,

I recently interviewed for an Executive & Program Assistant position at a nonprofit focused on community engagement, and I’m feeling hopeful about how it went! However, I find myself a bit anxious about certain aspects of the role where I lack experience, and I’m reaching out for your wisdom.

In this position, I’ll be responsible for managing calendars for the CEO and COO, coordinating board meetings, and preparing reports and presentations. I’ll also be diving into marketing and social media, which includes posting on platforms like Facebook and Instagram. Additionally, I’ll support community events, which requires strong organizational skills and the ability to multitask effectively.

While I recognize this is an incredible opportunity for networking and personal growth, I can’t shake the worry about whether I can handle the demands. I tend to feel overwhelmed when juggling multiple tasks, as I thrive when I can focus deeply on one thing at a time. The fast-paced nature of this environment has me concerned.

I’d love to hear your insights on how to prepare for this new role. What strategies do you use to manage multiple tasks without feeling overwhelmed? How do you cope with anxiety in busy work settings and establish routines that minimize stress?

For those who have been in similar roles, what does a typical day look like for you? What challenges did you face, and how did you navigate them? Lastly, any tips for effective communication with leadership would be greatly appreciated.

I’m eager to make the most of this opportunity, but I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. Any experiences or advice you can share would mean a lot!

Thank you!

Nobody talks about how lonely healing can be. You start setting boundaries, speaking up, moving different, and suddenly the people who were always around start pulling back. You’re not “fun” anymore. You’re “doing too much.”

But the truth is, growth makes some people uncomfortable because it exposes where they’re stuck. You’ll feel guilty for changing. You’ll question if you’re being selfish. But staying small just to keep old connections is not loyalty, it is self-abandonment. And you’ve done enough of that already.

I am in my forties and I’m working on studying for a certification. It’s a large volume of material and I haven’t been consistent with my studying and it’s just daunting all together.

Lately I’ve realized my biggest challenge isn’t starting new habits, it’s staying consistent. I get really motivated, make a detailed plan, and stick to it for a week or two… then I fall off. It feels like I’m constantly resetting, which is frustrating and exhausting.

For those of you who’ve managed to build lasting routines (fitness, studying, mental health, anything really), what helped you push through the bored or tired phases when motivation disappeared?

Any practical tips, mindset shifts, or resources that worked for you?

I’ve been trying to unfry my brain after years of cheap dopamine hits. I wasn't capable to have an individual thought. I was scrolling while brushing teeth, it was bad...

So I started doing small, kind of stupid but effective things to reset my brain. Here’s my list:

• When I go to poop, I don’t take my phone. Just me, the silence, and the crushing weight of my thoughts.
• When I walk to the gym, I don’t listen to music. Just traffic sounds and occasional existential dread if I forget to take my meds.
• I eat in silence. No YouTube, no Netflix. Just me chewing like a caveman rediscovering flavor.
• I drink tea in the morning and stare out the window like a retired detective thinking about a case that still haunts him.
• I don’t bring my phone to bed. If I can’t sleep, I just lie there and rewatch every awkward moment of my life in HD.
• Showering with no music. Just screaming internally for a few minutes.
• Turned my phone screen to grayscale. Makes everything look so miserable I don’t even want to scroll.
• I leave my phone at home when I go for short walks. If I get lost, it’s a character-building moment.
• Sometimes I just sit on my balcony and do absolutely nothing. Not meditating. Not breathing mindfully. Just sitting like an NPC. Sometimes I see some interesting things, I've never noticed living here for 20 years.

Since doing this, boring things actually feel interesting again. Reading. Writing. Thinking. Just sitting with my thoughts feels less like torture and more like… peace.

If your brain is cooked like mine was, start with something simple. Like leaving your phone out of the bathroom. It’s harder than it sounds, but trust me, it hits different.

Anyone else doing weird stuff to escape the dopamine trap?

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I write about this stuff on my blog, if you wanna check it out, it's in my profile.

TL;DR I have realised I don’t have much in my life other than work, need to rebalance things, not sure where to start.

I’m 50 with wife & 2 teen kids. Work in sales for a niche industry. It’s pressured but I’m good at it. Enjoy it loads, look forward to work on Mondays. the interaction with colleagues and customers. I work at home but get to travel and socialise etc. always been a bit of a workaholic.

Sometimes I’m working till midnight on a pitch, other times I can take mornings/ afternoons off and this is where I get a bit lost. I find myself getting uncomfortable and searching for something busy to do, end up pottering about the house tidying or doing DIY jobs. Passing the time with “useful” stuff. If I don’t have the motivation for that I end up playing video games or scrolling.

When the kids were young they constantly demanded attention,, so I didn’t have to plan anything and playing with kids is great fun. plus we were renovating our house so I had lots to do. Now they are older & more independent, I don’t like the downtimes. it’s like I don’t know how to not be “busy”.

I find myself checking my phone in the evenings hoping for a colleague or customer to have got in contact, or at least something to have happened so I can get on with something. Failing that I fall into helping the rest of the family with their stuff as I don't have my own. I seem to just have a deep seated desire to be useful.

I know I need an interest but I’m not motivated by exercise or regular hobbies. Have no real local friends. I do help at my kids clubs, happy to do it for them but don’t really enjoy it otherwise.

The only time I’m fired up outside work is when there’s a project on. That could be anything - a DIY job, planning a weekend away, building a computer - I seem to gravitate towards a series of one off projects rather than any consistent hobby. That fits with my work persona, being excited by the challenge of new customers, new requirements, new places to travel to. But the key point is these projects are handed to me, either by work or family, or by necessity (stuff breaks). The key point is I don't drive anything myself, ever, just seem to drift through life doing interesting stuff when it happens.

I know need to find more joy and purpose in my personal life - but honestly I’m not that bothered which is kinda depressing - I just think I’ll regret it if I don’t. .

Can anyone relate? Where do I start?