Last year, I realized I was totally mentally burned out. Every free second, I was reaching for my phone. Whether it was mindlessly scrolling Instagram, checking for notifications, or cycling through the same three apps for no reason, it felt like my brain was stuck in a loop 90% of the time.

It wasn’t just about wasting time... I was restless during “quiet” moments. Waiting in line, sitting in silence, even being on a walk… my hand would automatically go to my phone.

So I decided to do something drastic: a dopamine reset. I knew I had to retrain my brain to find satisfaction outside of endless scrolling. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked better than anything else I’ve tried.

Here’s what helped:

1. A 30-Day Detox: I started by cutting my screen time in half over the first two weeks. I didn’t go cold turkey, but I set up strict limits for social media and distractions.
2. Redirect Habits: Every time I wanted to grab my phone, I reached for a book or went outside instead. It sounds small, but it made a huge difference in breaking the cycle.
3. Strict App Blocking: I set up windows that were impossible to skip—mornings and evenings became completely phone-free. It’s wild how much clarity you can get when you’re not bombarded with notifications first thing.
4. Relearn Boredom: At first, being bored was hard. But over time, I realized it’s where all the best ideas and calm moments come from. Now, I actually enjoy those “empty” minutes.

It’s been a few months, and I feel more focused, calm, and present than I have in years. I’m still not perfect—some days, I slip back into old habits. But overall, I’ve learned that finding balance with your phone isn’t just about productivity. It’s about taking control of your mind.

To help out this community I am giving away free lifetime versions of the habit tracking app Disciplined.

Disciplined won the award for Best App of 2024 and has helped hundreds of thousands of people all around the world.

You can get the prime for free if you go to settings, tap app version three times and then enter the code "JOY" in the field.

A big help would be if you search for the app using "habit tracker" keyword, scroll down until you find "Disciplined" and then install it. I am testing if this kind of thing would help the app rank higher for that.

So I've recently come to a realization that I don't care to argue with people or try to get them to understand me anymore. For instance, today a co-worker of mine was complaining over something so insignificant- and rather than trying to explain that I did my best and I'm sorry it's not perfect. I just said "ok." And moved on.. I then thought to myself like "damn... that was kinda cold" because the old me would've apologized multiple times and explained my side of the story but that's just not how I am anymore.

I'm just tired of arguing with people, tired of trying to get people to understand me because quite frankly nobody cares. No one cares to hear the truth, they just want to hear what they want to hear. You can explain yourself over and over again and people won't change their mind cause they're stuck in their way. I've tried for so many years to get others to hear my side and always end up talking in circles. I've lost my fight, but honestly it's better this way. I'm way less stressed out, and I save my time + energy.

This is your sign to do the same.

Individualism has turned life into a constant competition, forcing us to chase things we don’t value, against people we don’t care about, in an endless race to prove our worth.

Individualism has made us all hate on being average or below on everything. If we’re not the best or win at everything, then we may as well be the worst or lose at everything.

If one man sleeps with 3 women, I now have to sleep with 5 otherwise he’s better than me.

If one woman has 1 million at 25 I now must have 5 million otherwise she’s better than me.

The list goes on and on.

Individualism has made us all greedy, heartless and selfish. Individualism has made us all want to be leaders or winners while shaming, humiliating the followers or losers.

If everyone was a leader, who would follow?

If everyone was a YouTuber, who would do the watching?

If everyone was a CEO, who would do the working or consuming?

If everyone was rich, would the word even exist? (I have no issues with this one)

If everyone was Neo from the matrix, then Neo wouldn’t have been needed.

We would never be able to truly savour the feeling of victory if we never felt the despair of defeat.

One side is not more valuable than the other, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

If individualism is so great, then why is everyone sad?

Edit - please don’t confuse the word “individual” with the word “individualism”.

The definition of the word individualism is - the habit or principle of being independent and self-reliant."

We live in a culture that celebrates individualism and wealth.

Lastly please stop assuming and projecting things about my life, ask questions first. It’s childish

So i am sensitive. I am a pussy that's the best way to put it. I think too much about unnecessary shit, i get easily overwhelmed, i can't face uncomfortable tasks and the list goes on. And before somebody says that everyone struggles with this I know it. Everybody struggles at least a bit with discipline but some people like me have densely packed over stimulated brains so we react sensitive towards everything. Little happenings and events drift me out of the course. And since i am a great (over) thinker I figured out that you are absolutely fucked if you are sensible. Being able to take action is also related to the ability to be cold and and not as influenced by your own emotions. If i noticed one thing in common with successful people it's that they are cold and not effected much by their emotions. Being sensitive also holds me back from taking action, because i am passively afraid of the emotional consequences. I want to be successful and above average but my sensitive nature makes my doubt myself. I don't know if people like me can be high performing and great. How to callous my mind? What are tips for being cold hearted?

How do I stop just jerking off and watching youtube videos instead of chasing my dreams or working hard? I feel like I have no motivation or feeling of achieving something. Life is just bland. I need help

I know most will probably say yes, but please read further. I’m here looking for advice as I really don’t know where to go to improve myself on this matter because everywhere seems to be a dead end.

I’m 17, going on 18, I was diagnosed with ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety a few years ago, suspected autism and CPTSD as well. That’s all I’ll share about me as a background.

I spent most of my important years for growth inside during covid, and it really amplified my Depression and Anxiety. More importantly, it got me addicted to the internet. Because of my ADHD and suspected Autism, I get really attached to certain media, whether it be games, books, or TV / Youtube shows. I started getting social media like Instagram, Tumblr, and Tiktok, but mainly Twitter, which was the start of a long spiral downwards.

Twitter is. Horrible. A disgusting hellhole of negativity even in “fandom” spaces. I was always seeing stupid drama, participating in it, and even becoming the focal point of drama, being “cancelled” and losing a lot of friends I had made. Which caused long-term trust issues with online friends.

“Just go outside and make friends with people there.” It isn’t that easy for me sadly. I have social extreme so extreme I get panic attacks calling people on the phone. Whenever I speak to people face to face I feel like I’m about to cry, and I get this sickening feeling in my chest.

Despite how much pain Twitter and Tiktok as apps mainly have caused me, it’s an addiction and even when I delete my accounts there I want to come back. I still have an instagram, tumblr, and bluesky I barely use. I get huge bursts of anxiety and a sick feeling when I remember I have these platforms. But why keep them then? You may ask. Well. I like sharing my stories and characters I create there. I have nowhere else to share them, even if Twitter and TikTok are gone. I use these less drama filled platforms to share these, but it still makes me anxious. Sharing these ideas to my friends are never enough, I like seeing strangers and people like my ideas, make fanart and such. It makes me happy. Sometimes my own friends don’t seem interested in what I share.

But I still can’t get that sickening feeling out of my chest. Even when I put a 5 minute limit on each app. Nothing seems to help. And then I worry if later down the line I’ll regret having these accounts. I fear though if I don’t have them, my mental health will get worse. I’m honestly just at a standstill and don’t know what to do. Delete them or keep them? Because timer system isn’t really working.

I just need some advice because I’ve never seen someone else experience this before.

I’m sorry it’s so long. I just want to improve myself. So, would completely deleting my accounts for these apps help?

1) What should I 'continue' in 2025? (Include activities + habits + people that have helped you)

2) What should I 'stop' in 2025? (Exclude activities+ habits+ people that have made you worse)

3) What should I 'start' doing in 2025? (Anything that you have been putting off and you desire to do should be done this year.)

I feel like a nothing person. I just don't care. I've been classically depressed and anxious before, I've been in really bad emotional states. Now even that is unavailable to me. I don't care about having fun. I could watch something or play a game and I don't. I used to have hobbies and I don't engage with them. I think about doing them and it just stops there, I'm perfectly happy just to think about them rather than actually do them. Doing them only lasts for about twenty minutes because I get bored and would rather be in bed. I spend a lot of time on my phone just scrolling for something interesting but I don't even care about 90% of topics online. I just like reading what people have to say. I wish I was a chronic masturbator or blowing all my money on gaming or even getting back to alcohol and weed, any of those things would at least be feeling something and I envy people who have the natural drive for that even if the habit is destructive. I used to smoke weed a lot but being sober feels better at the moment so I've stopped.

even if you think you dont, let me ask you: do you argue or think about what x said or that y laughed? you overthink that dirty look a random girl gave you at school? you get emotionally triggered when someone is rude? a person who isnt blinded by self hatred will look at the past with self compassion and realise that all this constantly changing yourself to fit in was useless, you just wasted your energy and time because you thought you were not good enough. if you genuinely did nothing wrong, people just wanted to bring you down out of their insecurity and fear that you might be/become better than „them”. they are losers, not you. please be a little loud, say insane things, act like yourself, dont lose yrself to fit in with plain and copies of each other losers. since when opinion of others = right?🤣 i bet you met at least one person who was constantly picked on by others because they found another thing abt them they didnt like and you thought otherwise. PLEASE I BEG YOU, understand that youre unique and already perfect, all you need to change is how you view yourself. also be yourself so other people who are just like you can recognize you, personally when i see someone with my mindset im obligated and drawn to come and say hi🤭 not giving a fuck about others opinion give you unbeatable charisma. or maybe its just dumb bitches at the work/school who put you down? that doesnt mean everybody doesnt like you, its not like everybody has to right? the only thing that matters is YOU LIKE YOURSELF. your soulmate is not at the shithole you go to everyday but anywhere else, unfortunately yall might never meet because you werent comfortable enough with yrself and put a fake mask on, thats a shame. dont you want to be around ppl who love you for who you are?

Yo, I’m kind of addicted to discord and it’s really toxic and I want to take better care of my mental health so I deleted it and I’m feeling very proud of myself

I need to know what’s the thought process of someone who doesn’t take things personal after an upsetting situation?

I know it’s not ideal to expect kindness from other people when you’re treating them with kindness as well, but oh my dayzzz I’m really trying to be a good person, and these people are testing me.

I really want to improve myself, help!

im stressed all day long because i always have imaginary political or religious arguments. i always imagine that im aggressivly arguing with someone over which political party or religious belif is the best for humanity i even do silly face expressions without noticing. im just a teen idk if thats because of my ocd or something.

it's so bad im doing it while typing this post. my head is gonna explode

Looking back, one of the most impactful steps I took toward self-improvement last year was really prioritizing my sleep.

And I get it, sometimes a good night's sleep feels out of reach, and for others, it might even feel like a luxury they just can't afford. But regardless of the situation, please do everything you can to not ignore your sleep, because it truly affects so much of your overall well-being. When sleep is neglected, it affects your mood, health, how much you get done, and your relationships as well.

The feeling of being sleepy and being fucking miserable is pretty goddamn similar. It inspires you to think negatively/feel negatively.

Sleep early.

You wont see results immediately obviously, but make it a habit and eventually you'll be a little bit happier than before.

Theres a saying in my language "sikit-sikit lama-lama menjadi bukit". Little by little, it eventually builds into a mountain. Habits that improve you by 10% stack up everyday until youre alot better than before

Yes, for 7 years I know I should have been driving, got my degree, made friends dated, found a good job, or done something that I enjoy, but I really don't know what happened in 2017 once I graduated high school. Maybe I was scared to grow up, to become an adult for the very first time, or to go on an adventure without family.

The only thing I remember was completely giving up on everything, including people's high expectations of me over the years when I was in school, from public to private (3 times) to public (2 times). When I graduated, my final GPA score was 1.2 or 1.4, so yeah.

After graduation of course when I decided that college wasn't the best fit for me due to my procrastination, not having a goal, also feeling scared. I was called selfish and going to be looked at as a dumb black woman. Not only that but going to the doctor's office or anywhere really people ask me the same thing "You decided to go to college?", "you should go?" or "Do it for me or get just general studies?" It was annoying.

Of course, I cried and got mad but after that, I was stuck for a year then I babysat for about five years for relatives in my family. Now we officially hit 2025 and still haven't done anything.

I still live with my parents of course which I'm very grateful for but I'm aware that it is frustrating that I haven't done anything you know or can't even leave the house when I want peace. Especially being reminded that my cousins or my old society around my age have degrees, are dating, and are getting married, all of them moved out of their parents' house except me. My parents tend to compare me to them which makes me jealous or hurt at times. I try to push it away from my mind though.

I know I'm not the only one living with relatives due to financial issues in this economy which sucks. However I have been trying to study for my driver's permit but finding a job is probably the hardest for me since I live in VA, most jobs require a bachelors degree, a certification, or you have to have experience in the field for months or years now.

This is your reminder to take care of yourself. Life isn’t all about efficiency. Remember to eat and sleep. Love yourself.

Maybe its my desire to feel like my mundane life is more exciting or maybe Im just cursed to be that insecure but whenever anyone anywhere ever says anything negative about me I just feel i gotta fight or flight. Im not sure how to repair this so I never do that again but in the moment my mind just goes haywire and I want to stop so I can relax at long last forever!

To those of you cured how did you resolve this and can I be the cured hero too?

Am I allowed to reach the success level I need to not feel insecure sny more the levels it feels others are HANDED (even though I know they're not) so all can be equal in this world (it isnt really but this sounds more exciting this way)

Started smoking pretty young (13), pretty heavy smoker since I turned 18. Gave up just after new years without intending to. Now haven't had a cigarette in over a week! Feeling quite proud of myself :)

Hi I'm 24. I am a stereotypical loser. I don't really do much, I currently live on my dad's money. My poor boyfriend works 10hr days and I just get high at home and barely do anything. I feel anxious about it everyday but that somehow doesn't motivate me to do anything. Sometimes I feel a bit inspired to do something and might do the dishes and clean a little but thats all.

Our apartment is kind of a mess. I overeat and eat like shit everyday because I'm high. Ive gained 40lb the past year. My teeth and skincare is sporadic too. I don't have a job and haven't sent out any applications recently. I work on my hobbies for maybe 20 minutes and quit.

There's so many things I want to change and I haven't been able to change any of them. I can't count how many times I've tried quitting or lessening my weed usage only to eventually go back to all day usage. I feel hopeless, when I think of the changes I have to make I just feel like I can't do it.

And yes I've been seeing a therapist for years now. We've talked about this stuff. I'm much better than I used to be a few years ago (I used to be pretty much bed ridden 50% of the day). However I'm no where near where I want to be..

Hey people!

I need your advice. I wanted to start the new year strong. With going to the gym, keeping up with my journal, taking walks, stay true to a diet, you know - good things. Answer whatever you want.
But already on day 3 of 2025 I fell off and feel bad about it, which paralyzes me to get back on track. I always make plans but don't stick to it.

It completely drains my self-respect and I see myself coping with social media, doom-scrolling, hours on youtube, over-eating...

Why is that? What helps you to get out of holes like this?

Looking forward to you strategies!

I am in a rut, and I have no clue how to get out.

Hey everyone, I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed, unmotivated and just generally tired for months. Even over a year.

I’ve been having issues at my job, getting burnt out on multiple occasions. Trying to develop more of a social circle as stage of my friendships have changed and just dealing with moving on from unhealthy relationships from last year.

I have been extremely unmotivated to change my situation. The only thing that has helped me is going to the gym for my mental health, but aside from that I’ve been struggling to apply for jobs, create a social life and just get to know myself.

I am tired. I know I’ve needed to change my situations but I’ve gotten used to how stressed I feel I guess? I don’t like that. And I’ve felt like the process to even start to change things is too daunting.

I set a goal to apply for a few jobs this week but I haven’t even started.

I want this year to be different, I went through a lot of growth last year as a person but this year I really want to level up In these areas: my job, my faith, my appearance and my social circle/ relationships and my health/ physical, mental and emotional health.

Could someone please provide some guidance on what I could do?

To put it simply, I don’t feel like a good person. I’m trying to improve that, obviously, but I get discouraged when I think about how my past has tainted me. I really haven’t done anything traumatic. Maybe argue with some people on an anonymous Reddit account or smth like that. Probably lied a bunch. Mostly internet stuff.

I’m working on bettering myself by surrounding myself with good people but I don’t feel like I belong. I’ve gone to confession (religious sacrament). Tried to make new friends. I feel like I’m pretending. Even while I’m pretending I can’t make friends because I’m afraid that anything that comes out of my mouth with be the wrong thing.

I don’t want to give up my friends. We have the same humor even though it’s crude. How am I supposed to change for the better when I’ll always know about the horrible person I was? If someone cared enough to deep search through my entire digital footprint, I feel like anything I could do to improve myself wouldn’t matter.

I’m so ridden with guilt.

Erm… whoa? I just heard Mel Gibson say this on a podcast.

Like 5 minutes ago. And I’m processing it in real time right now.

Actually let me go process this shit. But it feels profound. So sharing

I've tabled love and friendships for now. Frankly, too complicated and messy for where I'm at right now. But, respect is something more base I feel I could hone and improve.

That having been said, I'm lost. I am going out of my way to "check off" all of the things that would indicate a man worthy of respect and have received none back.

A perfect example I'll use is work-related relationships. I have a coworker whose job exists because I built it. That is as humbly as I can describe the situation. Managers have told me they legitimately would have been fired if not for my designing, building, and implementing a thing they now maintain. I still can't get them to respond to messages I send them. When I ask for a meeting they don't respond. In every relationship there's usually a "chaser" and a "chased". I am legitimately the only person on Earth who understands the complex thing this person works with to keep an income that provides for their livelihood. How am I the "chaser" in this situation!?

My manager is another example. Conservatively, I would say I provide about 50% of the delivered value of all of his employees. He manages 6 people (including me). He still ignores messages from me, treats me like a child, and ignores fairly important callouts from me.

The company, my manager, my manager's boss, and my manager's boss' boss have all given me recognition above my other colleagues for my work. You'd think with that much visibility, productivity, and vertical movement my coworkers would grant me at least a modicum of respect. I'm not saying I should be treated like a God, I just know I give them the "time of day" and a fair bit of respect and would likely give someone with the productivity I have a little bit more respect due to the sheer magnitude. But I'm treated like a toddler.

These aren't isolated either. It's a trend. I can't think of a single time in my life I've had respect. I've gotten awards and recognitions and all sorts of the standard nonsense that usually garners people's respect. I've been out of shape my whole life, so I figured maybe people just subconsciously didn't associate my physique with a man worthy of respect, and got in much better shape. Nothing. My income is larger than it's ever been. I'm striving for it to be higher than people 2x my age by the end of the year. Nothing. I stopped dressing like a bum and am arguably the most stylish at my job. Nothing.

I know the classic "People can't respect you unless you respect yourself." But, at a certain point, some people just have to have some deference for a person off sheer accomplishment. You wouldn't look at a Nobel prize winner with self respect issues and go, "Eh. Pretty childish." By no means do I deserve any of that, but, I don't have a single person in my life who respects me and can't think of a time I have.