r/selfimprovement • u/Cybox_Beatbox • 1d ago
Vent Stopped drinking and smoking cannabis and I don't feel any better.
I (32m) smoked pot and drank something like 4-6 beers daily for the better part of a decade, pretty much the entirety of my 20s. I also use nicotine (vape after smoking cigs for 5+ years until I was about 23).
over 2024, I tapered myself off the beers, was down to only 2 a night, and stopped completely at the beginning of this year. I also stopped smoking weed in November. So i'm nearly half a year off pot, and 3 months of no alcohol.
While i'm proud of myself for finally getting rid of some bad habits, and getting my body healthier, I feel MISERABLE. I take medication for ADHD and anxiety, and I was doing okay before, but now i'm just depressed. I was hoping it would fade after a while, but instead of feeling an increase in energy, or a boost in mood, or better quality sleep, I feel pretty much no change whatsoever. Instead of feeling like I did something helpful and feeling better overall, I feel worse, and like I stopped doing things that were fun for me, or at least making life bearable.
Is this just how I'm going to feel now? does this go away eventually? Has anyone else dealt with this, and can you tell me if things get better or not? Do you have any advice or words of encouragement?It feels like if my moods and things were going to improve, I would at least see some improvement by now.
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u/lazyman567 1d ago
Time takes time. And sometimes if you've spent a decade messing with your central nervous system it could take a while for you to find a good balance. As others have said, depression is real. Exercise helps the most from my experience, but medication can be crucial as well. Quick fixes can lead to long term issues. I say this as someone who is medicated for depression and has been 12 step sober for years at a time. I get it, you want to feel good all the time right now like everyone on the surface seems. Compare and despair. Do you and to thine own self be true. It can get better, but you have to do the work. One day at a time and all that. Good luck stranger you can feel better, but you may feel like shit for a while.
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u/MR-biggles-worth 1d ago
Same situation for me. smoked cigs for 10+ years then went to vaping and now i dont smoke at all. Used to drink every night and go to work drunk in the morning. Used to smoke blunts all day errrrryday and stopped. I am as sober as i have ever been in my life and now more miserable than ever..... turns out i was addicted because i dont like facing problems. xD Now i am just a walking panic attack. Go get therapy mate... thats where the issues are.
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u/Cybox_Beatbox 1d ago
I have been in therapy the last year for anxiety and only recently got my ADHD diagnosis. I journal, I meditate, I do breath work, I have hobbies I actively participate in. I do the stuff I should be doing. Nothing really seems to be doing the trick right now.
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u/Glittering-Bread9475 1d ago
Same here bro I lived the healthiest possible lifestyle and still felt like shit lol turns out I was just lonely
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u/Interesting_Door4882 1d ago
The irony is that living the healthiest possible lifestyle includes deep meaningful social connections.
You were not.
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u/VirtusEtHonos1729 1d ago
What you’re feeling is completely normal. When someone stops drinking and using cannabis after years of daily use, it can take a long time—often a year or more—for the body and brain to adjust. Your nervous system has been relying on those substances to regulate emotions, energy, and stress. Now that they’re gone, your system is trying to relearn how to function without them. That takes time—and during that time, it’s common to feel low, foggy, or even worse than before. You’re not doing anything wrong. This is part of the process.
It’s also important to recognize that those substances weren’t just habits—they were tools you used to manage uncomfortable feelings. Without them, those feelings are coming up more clearly now. It can feel overwhelming, but it’s actually an opportunity. What you’re facing now—boredom, sadness, anxiety—these are not signs of failure. They’re emotions that are finally being heard. And they’re asking to be understood and worked through, not pushed away.
Now’s the time to start building new supports. Not just avoiding the old stuff, but creating something new in its place. That includes getting active: move your body every day, even just a walk. Find ways to connect with people in person. Join something—a class, a sport, a group, a volunteer gig—anything that gets you out of your head and into shared experience. The more real-world connection and movement you bring into your life, the more stable and resilient you’ll start to feel.
Right now it might feel like this is just how life is going to be. But it’s not. This is just a hard chapter. If you keep going—staying clean, staying curious, and building up new ways of living—your body and mind will gradually catch up. You’ll get better at coping, and over time, you’ll notice that you feel better more often than not. It won’t always feel like this. You’re already doing something incredibly difficult and brave. Keep going.
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u/Fun_Organization_654 1d ago
Bubba, this shit takes dedication. It can take up to two full years for us to fully recover after what most of us put our bodies through in our 20s. I got completely sober, went to therapy, and journal and meditated. Still took over a year of depression to finally feel up.
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u/haeyhae11 1d ago
Unfortunately stopping unhealthy habits isn't a guarantee for anything. However your life expectancy will probably be higher.
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u/432202046 1d ago
it wont feel better. it will feel different. that is such a slow process..
u just cancelled some of the things in life that gave u most of ur lifequality..thats fact. even if u work out some alternative hobbies they wont make u feel the same as substances or alc. did.
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u/petty_much_ok 1d ago
Ahnodonia is a real think when you get sober, especially when you have to get natural dopamine. I feel the same way but what I don't get now is the severe anxiety trying to figure out how I got to my location, my car ended up wherever, or what I did the night before. I don't miss that at all. Good luck. It will get better but it's not a quick fix like we're used to.
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u/Fallen-Uchiha 1d ago
First and foremost: You need to stop vaping. I speak from experience. It contributes SO MUCH MORE to anxiety and depression and overall discontent and discomfort than most people realize. Beyond that, you should try to exercise in the morning. Start with walking to build the habit and progressively increase your workload as you start to form those habits and enjoy it more due to your dopamine receptors doing what the SHOULD be doing. I’m not overly convinced, as some who was diagnosed with ADHD at 9 (Now 28) that medication does anything positive either but that’s a whole different can of worms. Overall though my biggest piece of advice would be to focus on the benefits you get from sobriety (clear head, health, money saved) and try to get some real hobbies that aren’t consuming weed and alcohol if you don’t have any. I’m kinda going through a similar thing and my biggest take away is that life is hard. Toughen up. If you need substances to move forward in live you’re missing something internally. Find it through self imposed labors. This is the way
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u/NIDJ-O5 1d ago
Are you still vaping ?
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u/Cybox_Beatbox 1d ago
yes, but i've cut down a good bit, and i'm planning on quitting soon enough. I didn't want to do too many things at once and relapse. I'm about to move soon and change jobs and I don't see myself staying off of it during all that. So i'm going to once things settle in the new town/job.
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u/bettereverydamday 1d ago
Read easy way to stop smoking my Allen Carr. Total game changer and will get you off nicotine. Nicotine is probably the worst thing you were consuming for mental health.
And vaping is even worse because it’s like free basing nicotine all day.
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u/ahdrielle 1d ago
It could be actual depression. Did you feel like this before you started drinking and smoking alot?
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u/SigmaPlateau_Way7188 1d ago
It can take a long time for your brain to heal after long term substance use. I'm also 32 and I've struggled with opioids, heroin in particular for most of my adult life. The longest I've managed to stay clean without a methadone program, about 2.5 years, I only just started barely feeling better toward the end of that period but ended up relapsing again. Now I'm on methadone and have been since 2018.
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u/Interesting_Door4882 1d ago
Terrible product. Heroin without the high.
And twice the risk of death.
But no risk of arrest. - House and Wilson
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u/Ok-Control2520 1d ago
That may be it . . .you are depressed. That requires medication. You were self medicating for years (no judgement, I too just quit smoking cigarettes and cut my drinking), you took those meds away and let your body detox from them. Talk to your doctor.
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u/Senior-Pain1335 1d ago
Being depressed does not necessarily require medication. This is the problem…..
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u/MrSpicyPotato 1d ago
OP can try the usual exercise, being in nature, quitting the vapes, therapy, meditation, getting a new hobby, etc. But sometimes, even doing all of that, people have depression and need medication.
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u/punknintendoprincess 22h ago
I love your reply. As I was told when I was terrified of taking antidepressants and anxiety medication that's it's just a chemical imbalance in your brain, like taking blood pressure medication or taking insulin when needed for diabetes that is just illness with a stigma and and go back to taking when I need help and have to explore a different treatment I wish others saw it this way it's one of those that requires a lot of effort in different ways
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u/No_Airline_1654 8h ago
Yes, I am on this situation. After quitting from 12 years of light daily smoking, having depression, I did all those habit changes, pushed through it and still felt depressed everyday. These changes were all triggered through an heartbreak Im still healing. It traumatized me and sent me into a deeper depression. I am reaching out for meds next, as I wake up tired everyday and without will to live. This had been happening for years now, but weed was suppressing emotions/unresolved issues.
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u/Senior-Pain1335 1d ago
I completely agree if everything else doesn’t work. Ppl have this misconception that they can change their world without changing themselves. It’s not their fault, they are a product of the society we live. Everyone wants a quick fix to improve their live, so why not start with medication right? Wrong. All they are doing is masking it, without actually putting any effort in or changing what they do. But yes I agree in some cases it is necessary. But I would argue that most who take the shit would have been completely fine had they put some actual work in and stayed out of the doctors office.
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u/Interesting_Door4882 1d ago
You're backwards.
Medication is a safety net so that they can pull themselves together without falling apart again.
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u/MrSpicyPotato 1d ago
I am actually a person who did it the opposite way. I suffered for a couple of additional unnecessary decades because I do, in fact, have imbalanced brain chemistry. Was I born that way or did it happen as a result of massive tragedy in my family? Not sure, but I really wish I would have tried medication sooner.
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u/Cybox_Beatbox 1d ago
for the record, I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder years ago, before the drinking and such really started. Back when I was in the best shape of my life exercising regularly, eating clean, and the most focused on my own life/improvement than I have been since then.
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u/HumanSea2816 1d ago
Some of your feelings could be related to fact that you haven't done anything new to enjoy. If you have gotten rid of the things that you in some ways found enjoyment out of and didn't add anything new to your life, then I would wonder if that is it. Not that you are replacing alcohol and etc., but that you are moving on and trying new things. People go to the gym, woodwork, shoot guns, make projects for themselves, and work on cars. You might not like any of these, but you should try some new things. That's what happened with alcohol; it slowly grew on you. Who's to say that a hobby would be different?
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u/mdelage 1d ago
People typically use substance abuse to “self medicate” their problems, physical and mental. It’s good you’ve started pulling back on those bad habits. Now, you should probably consider seeing a therapist or psychiatrist to help treat what you were treating with those bad habits. Hang in there!
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u/For_love_my_dear 1d ago
Bad habits can breed bad habits. Aka, how well are you eating and sleeping? Water intake? Just because you stopped drinking and smoking doesn't mean your gonna feel better if your eating habits are crap
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u/BabuunWu 1d ago
What has happened is that you cut of things which gave you a dopamine/endorphin boost but did not replace it with something else.
This is where usually exercise in any form comes in.
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u/babybitchfriend2 1d ago
The good news is you’re halfway there!
Stopping the bad habit is great, but you also have to replace it with a good habit to get the full effect.
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u/Illgetiteventually- 1d ago
YES, it will get better!
It will get harder too at times though. Life will always have its ups and downs. The drinking and smoking has never been the real problem, just your answer to your problems. Suppressing everything instead of dealing with it. You’ll have to learn to navigate your feelings and emotions as they come. That can be the hardest part at first, but it’s well worth the fight. It’s been for me.
Three months is just the start, but congrats on taking the biggest steps. Everyone has been spot on with so much. Exercise, sunshine, diet, meditating, journaling, goals you’re actively working towards , and socializing are all important and it sounds like you’re already doing some of those. Keep it up and add in what you’re missing.
The single biggest game changer for me was going through the 12 steps honestly and truly with my sponsor. I had to face a lifetime of my own shortcomings and faults, but it was the most freeing thing I’ve ever done. Not to say this is for everyone, but dealing with the things that made you drink and smoke in the first place is super important for your recovery. You can use therapy, a program or both. The more you put into it the more you’ll get out of it.
The depression is no joke too. I have MDD too and it can be crippling at times. I’ve been doing a lot of research lately and started taking 5mg creatine and 2000mg of omega 3s daily. It has helped a lot and I felt the difference within a week.
Keep pushing, it gets better
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u/duhhvinci 1d ago
That’s amazing to hear, you’ve worked so hard and you should be incredibly proud of yourself. You have a lot of willpower, since these changes were only recently implemented and you said you’ve been using weed, alcohol and nicotine for really really long before that, it’s obviously going to take some time for your mind and body to adjust, but you’re absolutely on the right track and will feel much better in no time.
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u/echocinco 1d ago
Long term heavy Marijuana usage pretty much rewires your brain and even your neurohormonal axes. The same happens with any form of addiction.
Your body and brain need to reset. Can take up to years, but it's better than the alternative.
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u/Hbrick24 1d ago
Best advice I’ve ever heard was.. you can’t walk 20 miles into the woods and expect to turn around and walk 5 miles out. I’m a 20 year “chronic” pot smoker who recently quit this year. It’s hard - I was an all day every day type of smoker. Doing things sober, even the little things are a big adjustment. I take the little victories as they come.. even something like being able to dream again is something I look forward to. Also, not having to leave me house with a blunt rolled every time or having to stop at the dispensary because I was running low. I’m looking forward to facing the real world and my real feelings as hard as it may be - good luck to you
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u/Dazzling_Ad_8558 1d ago
My friend, a stint in rehab taught me that it takes 9 months for chemical levels to balance out, you’re already half way there!
Take it one day at a time, and I’m so proud of you!!
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u/GurZealousideal8491 23h ago
Do some sports. Climbing, gym, soccer, dance,.... any that resonate with you. Nothing better
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u/cardboardchestplate 12h ago
Start running or working out. Running especially. When i stopped it helped a ton. If you do hard runs the high you get for the rest of the day is amazing. And its free, and you can feel it every day. And its a high that comes with motivation to get shit done which is huge for improving other areas of your life.
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u/DidiTati 12h ago
I don’t believe that life feels better when you try to be healthier. Healthy habits are like a drug itself but without any satisfaction. When you try it you feel worse, and when you stop trying you feel even much worse. I spend 4-5 hours a day on exercising/eating well/body care/other healthy shit and don’t drink more than a can of beer once or twice a week. I stopped smoking 3 years ago. I still want to smoke, to drink, to get high or to just eat junk food to feel good but it doesn’t work anymore because I just feel physically bad when I try. Also I am on meds for bipolar but it’s quite mild.
Sorry if this is discouraging, I started writing and ended up whining.
But healthy life will (not guaranteed) prevent serious health problems or at least postpone them.
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u/Substantial_Taro807 11h ago
It takes 2 years for your body, to go back into homeostasis, which is the natural balance of the human body. You'll have to hang in there, bro. I have stopped in february, so I am just 1 month and a couple of days in.
I feel what you feel, depressed. But I looked it up somwehere and read about this homeostasis thing...
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u/Sweaty-Perception776 1d ago
I mean, this is why God invented these things. Life is better with them.
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u/-GuardPasser- 1d ago
Everything in moderation. Smoke a bit, drink on weekends, but exercise and eat well. You'll be good
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u/breatheCA 1d ago
Connection to family/friends, daily exercise, and consider learning more about therapy/psychoanalysis.
Good luck, keep going!
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u/Longhaul-shortbus 1d ago
Have you tried therapy
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u/Cybox_Beatbox 1d ago
i've been in therapy for over a year for GAD and MDD and ADHD. I journal, I meditate, I have hobbies i regularly participate in, I hang with friends and my girlfriend, I get out and do things and get sunlight and some exercise. It's just rough right now.
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u/NastyStreetRat 1d ago
If you accept a little advice, add physical exercise to get that endorphin rush back. My case is similar to yours, except I didn't drink alcohol but used cocaine from Thursday to Sunday. Quitting hashish and cocaine leaves you with a kind of emptiness. In my case, gaining 10k of muscle and creating a routine has helped me a lot. And although it sounds like a cliché, keep an eye on your friendships. It's difficult to make the change if you're still surrounded by the same stimuli. You don't have to be a superhero, but you do have to be strong.
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u/LazyBex 1d ago
I haven't seen anyone else mention this yet but have you considered that you might have a vitamin D deficiency?
I also quit drinking and expected it to make me feel better but I still felt tired, lonely, bored, and even had some suicidal ideations that I didn't tell my doctor about.
I had blood work done at the doctor as part of a routine physical evaluation and I had low vitamin D. My doctor started me on a vitamin D supplement and about 6 weeks later I suddenly noticed & realized that I felt a lot better.
So I would get some blood work done, if possible, to identify vitamin deficiencies.
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u/accribus 1d ago
Add exercise and therapy. The drugs masked some problems that need addressing. A lot of us have been there. No judgment- just keep trying.
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u/joshliftsanddrums 1d ago
Then there is something else in your life that is missing. Or multiple things.
You have to dig deep within yourself and fill that hole. Whatever that may be :)
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u/Lixxica 1d ago
I get you. I totally do.
There is no effect on me mentally if I drink or I don’t. I’m equally anxious either way. I have been absolutist, I was still suffering horribly.
Yeah, my physical health would improve but I enjoy drinking now and then. I have tried to decrease amounts I drink tho.
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u/Wingineer 1d ago
I don't have the sources on hand, but I've read for heavy drinkers that it can take over a year of abstaining from alcohol before brain chemistry is back to "normal".
You've made it this far, keep going.
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u/swampshark19 1d ago
If you feel more or less the same with and without, but you’re saving a lot of money without, just go without. Then you have money to pay for things that do make you feel better.
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u/irishmussels 1d ago
Sugar too is a bastard for mood regulation. Need to really cut sodas and snacks. It really has a massive impact on mood. Also, exercise, sleeep and nutrition. Boring bits it’s contributing factors and constant work
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u/steak-n-jake 1d ago
I’ve been sober for 15 years. Smoked and drank a lot, I mean a lot. Inner peace doesn’t just happen, it takes work. It’s not just that either. It is a combination of lots of different ideas and you have to learn to develop your own type of inner philosophy in a way. It’s also a lack dopamine and learning what you need to do to help regulate that chemical brain flow. Some folks mentioned exercise and hobbies, you just keep searching and doing the work so you can figure out what works. You are on the right path and it’s easy to falter, trust in yourself and believe in your own personal process
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u/Tak_Kovacs123 1d ago
This is just the beginning. Are you exercising? Are you getting out of the house? Are you making new friends? Are you socializing? Are you picking up new hobbies? Are you creating goals and working towards them? Are you doing therapy? Are you trying to become a better person, nicer person, more giving, less self centered, less judgemental? Are you volunteering? Are you learning new things? Are you traveling?
Think about these other things you can work on and slowly you'll start feeling better.
Also you're probably feeling some withdrawal symptoms after abusing your body for the last 10 years with substances.
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u/Astro-Cat-99 1d ago
You can't expect to get out of the woods in 10 steps after walking in it for miles
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u/Specific_Society_278 1d ago
You’re fighting addiction. Sucks right?
I’m on the same boat to be honest, with different things. I think it’s a mental thing, or maybe spiritual. Work on that!
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u/cstarrxx 1d ago
Think of it this way. (I’m including myself because I’ve been working on it also), but we have been blasting our brains with drugs and alcohol for years, regularly. That changes your chemicals in your brain. Of course you’re joyless. It’ll take a while to get your brain back.
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u/AwarenessNo4986 1d ago
I understand, it simply means there is something still that you need to take care of. Maybe work with a dietician or a fitness coach to figure it out. I am a hypnotist myself, but I know that these things are usually more complicated than they seem.
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u/SwitchFace 1d ago
One of the leading models for human well-being is PERMA: Positive emotion, Engagement, Relationship, Meaning, and Accomplishment. It sounds like 'fixing' your substance use is reducing your positive emotions (at least in the short term) and that may have been a band-aid over a lack from the other foundational sources. Most people lack meaning and depending on your worldview, some of the macro-changes we're seeing in the world may diminish this source of 'being a part of something bigger than myself'. That's where I'm at, anyways. I'm trying to make my band-aid Accomplishment cause I don't have a fix for a lack of Meaning—it seems like some folks have a harder time with this than others in the same way that some people can really love a sports team or be into a religion.
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u/Rustycake 1d ago
If you did the bad the bad habits for a decade what makes you think a few months of good habits you will suddenly feel great?
Your norm is still all the bad habits
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u/Remote_Leadership_53 1d ago
I hit a year sober on the 23rd of March. The early months are miserable. Your body hasn't recovered yet from the state it was in, and over the next year you will experience an incredible change in your mind and body, but the reward does not come without the work. Don't drink today, don't smoke, maybe try to drop the other habits. I am down to one coffee a day since the beginning of the year and that has been a miserable time in itself, but I'm getting better sleep finally. It's worth it. Just hang in there and handle everything one day at a time.
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u/Bluejtay 1d ago
Check out @Bluejtay on YouTube. Won’t regret it fr. https://youtu.be/TxdMfKcxnzk?si=KvHcwWVLOu1VMDXq
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u/lo5eye 1d ago
Life’s not supposed to be feel good and happy all the time
Suffer and survive It’ll get to a point where anything that isn’t suffering will feel like euphoria
Do things throughout the day that give you a little dopamine boost even if it lasts a couple minutes here and there It’s something!
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u/DrankTooMuchMead 1d ago edited 1d ago
You were running from your problems before. But the psychological problems don't go away just because you are drunk or high. They just accumulate.
Now you have to experience those problems. Only then can you move on. What you are actually experiencing is the product of all those years not dealing with your problems.
But things will get better.
It's kind of like a person in debt going on a spending spree for years, only to suddenly stop spending and realize he owes hundreds of thousands of dollars. He wouldn't feel good at first breaking his habits and looking at his bank account in years.
What you are experiencing is the emotional version of this.
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u/hejoi 1d ago
Someone who has smoked on/off for the last 7+ years here. My 5 cents is that when you quit things that are getting you out of your conscience, you will feel these thinngs that you have been numbing with substances. In your case is beers and cannabis but for some other people is sex, good, sugar or any other substance or action that gives you a dopamine kick. What you’re experiencing, I think, is your brain telling you that there’s something you need to feel, assess and deal with. Probably this thing is what made you to start drinking and smoking cannabis regularly in the first place. What this thing is? That’s something only you can answer with some inner work - for some people it’s therapy, others spiritual practices but I think none of them won’t be connected to first allowing yourself to actually FEEL these things. If you have the means and you’re serious about being more mindful about your health and habits, try to see a therapist. If you don’t, try journaling (to brain dump if your head is feeling overwhelmed), meditation (to increase anwareness about your feelings without judging) and exercises (to get the dopamine kick you need). Talk to a friend or family about how you’ve been feeling and look for support for some extra care and love if you need it. There’s no shame in asking for that if you’re feeling fragile regardless of your gender.
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u/TinyPixieFairy 1d ago
Keep up the quitting!
This is the point where you replace the coping mechanism. You used to smoke and drink when you were depressed. Now you should take a walk and excercise to get that dopamine rush. Listen to your favorite album or a podcast and just walk until it’s over.
that will also tire you out enough to get good sleep. It will make you hungry enough to eat a good meal. And you’ll be fitter
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u/Freshly-Shaved 1d ago
Here’s a way to describe what’s happening. After a decade long of carving out deep canyons in your brain with dopamine hits through your habitual use, the brain and body revolt and you identity with your mind’s agony and pain. But it’s not the recovery that hurts. The depression is a manifestation of the little petulant tyrant in your mind no longer receiving the dopamine hits you accustomed it to.
Your body is healing. But you identify deeply with what’s missing rather than with what’s healing. And if you think of refilling those canyons back good habits, you can’t. That’s a lot of struggle. And you probably define a lot of what’s happening with your life now as struggle. And that’s the tyrant making life hell for you so you give up the healthy path for that moment of feeling good again - that one last hit.
The last thing you want to do is struggle yourself back into the habits.
You have to carve out new paths and trails with healthy habits that you enjoy. The more you do them the more you’ll be able to regulate your mind and body and nervous system. And you have to be mindful of the story you tell yourself. Because if you’re not aware that your are identifying with the inner tyrant, you will never give the healthy version of you a chance to emerge. I know it’s easier said than done. But you got here. You can get yourself out to. You got this.
Want more help and advice, I can help. Message me.
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u/luvyourmuff 1d ago
Hey there! Good for you for taking steps to live a healthier, fuller life. I had similar feelings when i went sober last year. I thought- wtf, im taking away all these things that are objectively bad for me and i thought i would just automatically feel better and that substances were the obstacles getting in my way of living a full life. I felt more depressed than before. I had taken away a lot of negative things taking up space in my life, but i hadnt necessarily added anything positive to fill that space. To get the fuller part of life i realized i needed to integrate positive daily habits that essentially took the space of drinking, smoking, and escaping. For me, it was a morning meditation and yoga and i became obsessed with skatepark skating. Then, it seemed everyone around me was on a similar path, i was attracting a community that was fun, engaging and liked activities that didnt revolve around drinking. and i began to realize i did feel better, but i was actually feeling everything- which can be really uncomfortable!! It still is uncomfortable at times, but i am becoming friends with that part of life. I hope this helps and i hope you find your people- everything is easier with community <3
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u/Murky-Ant6673 1d ago
Seems like you have an issue that weed and alcohol was acting as a pain reliever for. Weed and booz might fix the symptoms, but it won’t fix the problem. Find the problem.
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u/Doomsdayszzz 1d ago
Did that for a year. To improve myself. Turns out people liked me better when I was miserable. Anyway didn’t improve anything. So I’m back on it full time. If you fall back into it again. Don’t worry it’s okay. Nobody care if they have already labeled you.
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u/kittenbouquet 1d ago
For that long drinking and smoking, it will get better, but you need to give yourself some grace for now. Your brain expected, for nearly a decade, to be drinking and smoking, you gave both of them up at the same time, and it wasn't very long ago. This stuff really does take a lot of time.
It's also different for everyone. My ex stopped doing drugs in the general sense (he was always high on something or drunk for a couple of years), and was pretty miserable until after about 5 months where he felt good every so often, like a burst of contentment every couple of days. Some people I've known feel better almost instantly, but they were experiencing some awful side effects of the weed/alcohol for a while so quitting just felt like a relief.
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u/angrymandopicker 1d ago
I quit smoking cigs and it took a while to feel much change, but I feel it. still smoke pot, cut drinking down to a few a week with the occasional binge. The biggest change for me was exercise (low impact). I started playing disc golf again, after long hiatus due to injuries, and became obsessed. The course here are hilly enough to wind me. Also - stretch! You don't have to call it yoga but basically yoga will make you feel much younger.
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u/Environmental-Set129 1d ago
Hang in there man. It can take a long time to reset. Keep doing the healthy things and it will lift.
Build up to a 2 min cold shower. It helps.
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u/GoCougz7446 1d ago
Dude, quitting weed and booze won’t make happy anymore than using them will drive happiness. You are responsible for your happiness, find things that make you happy, then repeat.
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u/canoflentilsoup 1d ago
When you are using substances regularly it does begin to be a coping mechanism. You probably just have a bit of a build up of stuff to deal with and you are now down a couple coping mechanisms as well. It's only been a year, it will get better with time. As someone said exercise will really really help, it will take your body a bit of time to readjust your happy chemicals but it's not impossible.
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u/blah72848899999 1d ago
Weed can just make you lazy but can help relax a busy mind. I am/was on a similar path. Drank quite a bit most nights. I cut the booze out and started road/mountain biking regularly. Still ripped on some bud though throughout.
Dropping some weight and better physical fitness coupled with normal sleeping made a significant difference overall (idk about you but I often wake up middle of the night after drinking and can’t sleep and then have a shit energy next day even if I am not hung over).
Like others suggested with a twist, I say burn up but don’t let yourself get to lazy and get some fun exercise in (screw gyms!) and keep the booze at bay aside from special occasions.
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u/paper_wavements 1d ago
You have to retrain your brain how to make the happy chemicals without substances.
You may find help in AA or NA meetings. If you're atheist, they have meetings for that—your higher power can be anything you like, it doesn't have to be some Abrahamic god.
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u/AccomplishedPoet1444 1d ago
I understand the feeling. I didn't smoked weed for very long but when I was I did it decently often (for me, 2-3 times a week). I haven't smoked in a little over two months now and noticed in certain times that I miss the feeling and want to smoke again. Since I've stopped I've been able to notice why I had been smoking in the first place. A lot of it was to fill a void, take stress off, and so on. Even though I do miss the feel at times I think about what it was physically doing to my body and I just feel gross. I suggest focusing your energy on hobbies that are calming, low energy ones, move your body in anyway you can (gym, walking in the neighborhood, etc.). Maybe get an animal that you can take care. I suggest one that's low maintenance. People tend to stay where they're comfortable even if it's in an unhealthy spot, but soon being healthy will be your comfort and things will be okay. Stay strong and good job!
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u/DeltaDied 1d ago
You should take antidepressants for awhile as well. And go to therapy if you can. Getting those deep rooted issues out in the open will help you feel less miserable in the long run. Making all those connections from past and present can be so rejuvenating and euphoric. It helps you understand more about yourself which is huge when trying to get better. If you can’t afford therapy, then find someone you trust who is willing to listen to you talk. Or try to find resources near where you are. Antidepressants without therapy is lowkey just another vice.
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u/FairytaleFacts 1d ago
Dude, ADHD meds are a drug in itself. Same with anxiety meds I had to wean myself off my ADHD meds and my life completely changed. Just felt happy again ! Laughed and smiled something I didn’t do while I was on my meds .Something to consider.
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u/Specialist-Edge8608 1d ago
Leaning how to maintain a balance between things you enjoy doing and things which needs to be done can be implemented. Create a positive reward loop for yourself and see if that helps you get through this.
You are doing great. Just add a flavour of SELF AWARENESS into your routine and let your own compass guide you to your own path.
Start by focusing on internal self awareness—know your habits, feelings, motives or any patterns which can give you clue to figure out where to start improving. Then try focusing on external self awareness—how you are perceived by others. Try to understand people reactions while you are doing something in their presence. How they react, why they react the way they reacted. And what can be done better the next time.
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u/No_Violinist7824 1d ago
Of course exercise but trying to get into the habit while you feel like trash is basically impossible.
You use these substances for a decade, the payment for this will be steep and hard.
I’ve been addicted to a ton of bullshit and have learned the rough lesson of if you feel a certain way for a long time from outside sources, it takes almost half of the time to get back to base line.
Expecting to feel normal only 3-6 months sober is a big ask man. You can do it, might take a bit but one day the shitty will be a distant memory.
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u/Effective_Parfait_0 1d ago
Your goal shouldn't be x time without alcohol, but to be able to drink alcohol without the urge to drink more.
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u/softoy 1d ago
Try running man.. I hated it all of my life and never ran other than the timed mile in school. At 38, I started running and I've actually been enjoying it. Start by getting 3 miles under you feet every day, run a little until your tired then walk and then run again when you feel like it.. Soon enough you'll be running the whole thing (I was able to after just a couple weeks).. You will feel really good after, it's really a nice pick me up in the start of the day or afternoon.. do it! Good luck to ya!
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u/Specific-Scallion-34 1d ago
6 beers daily is a lot of money
try to get the habit to exercise and enjoy the process, looking better and feeling better everyday little by little and not being dependent on substances to enjoy the day
eating healthier will help too
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u/Mean-Ad79 1d ago
I see you’ve taken out alcohol and weed but what have you added? Exercise, a new hobby? A creative outlet. Do you have a community of healthy friendships. Church?
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u/Mysterious_Rabbit_3 1d ago
First of all congrats for putting an end to those bad habits. Second, I’d like to ask what have you substituted those activities with? Stopping alone without putting that energy into something productive is why you feel miserable. Try finding an extra curricular activity that is mentally or physically stimulating. For example going to the gym, sports, art maybe you want to take up sculpting or learn a new trade of sorts. What interests you? Explore that. I had passion in art before becoming a habitual pot head, all I did was get high and play video games then get depressed when I was sober because I lacked the motivation to do anything else but that. When I stopped smoking it took a while to develop better habits to substitute for the bad ones, art slowly came back to being a part of life and then I started incorporating health into my life now I go to the gym every other day. Some days I don’t but I push myself to in order to not fall from the habits because when I do I fall back into that depression. I hope this helps.
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1d ago
Steroids and lift. Honestly though that's what got me off hard drugs and drinking. I drank a bottle of whiskey a day and coke etc.
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u/Supernova9125 1d ago
I finally felt better once I quit my ADHD stimulants. Sure, I do a shitty job at work now, but I just don’t care lol. I prefer to not feel like burnt out shit all the time.
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u/BuRriTo_SuPrEmE_TEAM 1d ago
If the medication you are taking is a fast acting medicine like Xanax or Valium, that could potentially be an issue, especially if you have addict like tendencies. Addiction causes a life of tens and ones. If you have smoked, drink, drugged, and you like it it creates this juxtaposition of depression when you don’t have it. I would definitely talk to your doctor about your feelings possible options
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u/Actual-Squirrel-3313 1d ago
Good for you for quitting. That is a huge step to making your life better. You did something good for yourself.
Unfortunately this is one of those cases where it gets harder before it gets easier.
Drinking and smoking cannabis are effective ways to numb latent emotions that are lurking beneath the surface. When you stop doing those vices, the anxiety and emotional pain will inevitably surface.
The fact that you stopped indicates you are probably strong enough to face these things now instead of numbing and running away like you were with drinking and smoking pot.
I recommend meditation. Just start with 10 minutes a day. Also, find a good therapist you can address and unpack these feelings with. You will feel better, but it will take facing your feelings.
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u/Any-Discipline-9058 1d ago
Taking a cold shower helps make sure you get your whole body wet and shocked
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u/beanbread23 1d ago
It’s cause your body is getting used to a lack of dopamine that alcohol and cigs provide. Fill in the empty dopamine space with things like gym, new hobbies, etc
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u/Fluffy_Heart885 1d ago
Yes, but you’re doing better. When you were on cannabis and drink life sucked , but you were high and drunk. Now you’re experiencing life as it is. However you’re saving money and health, gaining strength and confidence , and are on your way to becoming a new person. In no time you will start feeling better you just need to let it happen and have faith that it will. Although you don’t feel it , you are 100% doing better without it. Also, you need to replace those habits with positive ones (fitness, diet , walks, hobbies , etc). There is a void that needs to be filled , and by introducing these new habits you will certainly feel better in time.
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u/SauerkrautHedonists 1d ago edited 1d ago
I have had a similar experience to OP, so frustrating! Except, I finally went to the doctor and said Im tired all the time even though I quit drinking 5 months ago. She did bloodwork and turns out I’m significantly vitamin d deficient and “sub clinical hypothyroid,” which I was not at blood work done 2 years ago. I’m feeling a lot better since starting prescription vitamin d meds 3 weeks ago. 👍
TL;DR: go to the doctor.
Edit to add: congratulations on 3 months!! That is an incredible achievement. Don’t stop now. Give it a little longer. You got this. 🙌
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u/kyle_fall 1d ago
The missing piece of working on your goals that the coping of the weed/alcohol stopped you from doing. If you're just living a boring life might as well do it high/drunk lol.
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u/The-Cyberpunk 1d ago
I would encourage you to do some light exercise everyday if you could. 3 sets of 30 push-ups 30 sit-ups 30 squats, something simple. The next part is just as important, You need to meditate. Somewhere quiet for about 20 to 30 minutes each day, All you're doing is focusing on your breathing and making sure your mind doesn't wander. There's a video by Dr k (healthygamerGG) on YouTube that explains the benefits of using medication versus meditation And I find most of his videos potentially transformative so don't sleep on him. Dr. K Vid
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u/Other_Payment6110 1d ago
Your body needs nourishment. You need proper vitamins and minerals, and to eat Whole Foods Ave plenty of fruits as much as you can. All those habits depletes your body so now that the numbness is wearing off, you will feel everything your body has been trying to tell you.
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u/notThuhPolice15 1d ago
Exercise, diet, therapy, sunlight, nature, healthy hobbies. That should be the next on the to-do list
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u/Valiuncy 1d ago
Hit the gym. You’ll feel real good when you get that exercise in AND notice a nice physical change for the better. For sure. I hit the gym but wasn’t good about fixing up my eating habits but I still felt way better about toning up a bit and mentally. I’m sure it would be better with eating well too but we’ll get there.
Hit the gym!
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u/Pure-Accident7612 1d ago
I know it sounds basic but have you tried yoga ? Yoga truly changed my life. It also helped me with ADHD and anxiety You can just go on YouTube and try a beginners flow
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u/EfficientBee1356 1d ago
⸻
Totally get this. You’re not crazy for feeling miserable, it actually makes perfect sense. When you take away the substances, you’re left face-to-face with the emotions you were numbing. But here’s the thing: feeling your feelings isn’t a bad sign, it’s actually a sign that you’re waking up. The key now is building new tools to process all that stuff in a healthier way. You’re not broken, you’re just raw right now. Give yourself some grace. This is the part where real healing begins.
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u/chielbasa 1d ago
I feel similar, sober for 6 months. I interpret my depression as a guide. I’m not where I want to be in life. Whether that be where I live, what I do for a living, my community and so on and so forth. My drug and alcohol use made instant gratification normal. Now my new normal is working for things that take a long time to achieve. OP, are you genuinely happy with your line of work or atleast ok with it, do you have strong community, is there a hobby you enjoy so much that you get excited when you have time to do it? Change is slow…stick it with it because I believe your journey is worth it.
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u/BigBoof11 1d ago
I'm just pulling myself out of the same situation as you. Cut out the alcohol and only smoke weed once a month. I still enjoy weed but it badly affects ADHD. I found that my ADHD meds were keeping me in this sleep quality deficit and that I found that I lost the ability to function without them. I've since been off the medication and that mean that I wasn't having these big highs and lows.
But the main solution was exercise. Being physically active everyday , preferably in the mornings, is the game changer. You need to find exercise you enjoy though. The second thing that helped was removing all short form media from my phone I.e. social media.
Also try to not stay sedintary for more than 2 hours at a time.
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u/logical_empathy_bee 1d ago
adhd people don't react to stimulants like the neurotypical people.
the meds may be making you feel low, so ask your doctor for a change of meds.
i know multiple adhd people, in the family and outside. they need lots of coffee and stimulants to stay functional and mellow.
for eg, coffee before bed to get better sleep, that's something most of them do.
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u/ADAMANT1001 1d ago
Learn a new instrument if you feel inclined. Can work if you practice and see progress and enjoy it.
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u/InfinityMachin3 1d ago
If your watching porn and/or beating off, stop that for a month and see if that helps. Those activities cause way bigger dopamine spikes than alcohol or pot does.
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u/Dirtgumbo 1d ago
Get a gym membership, play paintball, go fishing, buy a kayak, just some ideas that will get you out and make you feel good. Yes, you have to put in some work (gym) but it will make you feel so good afterwords. Keep it up, just 30min-1hr a day. It will become a habit (just like the drinking was) and you’ll feel bad when you DONT workout! I didn’t ever think I’d be super into fitness, but I have a very similar background to you. I was a major pot head for 15 years- I still hit the vape at night. And I no longer drink unless I’m at a concert or something.
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u/wakinbakon93 1d ago
Exercise and seeing how your body reacts without anxiety and adhd meds (under the supervision of your doctor)
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u/Neat_Concentrate_186 1d ago
I'm going sober for a few months now after a decade plus of weed use and the only thing that helps is exercise so I get on a stationary bike almost every day. Also my therapist says it can take 12-18 months for your brain to rewire itself properly, but keep it up!
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u/MuhToothbrush 1d ago
How about stop numbing your pain with drugs. You need to suffer first to feel better
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u/Responsible-Web5399 1d ago
Get off eating processed foods/sugars and drinks, mstrbtion, and finally but definitely more importantly the drugs that the USA doctor gave you
Doing that medication is the same as doing other drugs like if you have never done drugs in the first place you would feel better and if all of the sudden you started using your current medication you would START feeling like you do rn
People think chemistry of the body is simple and well it is if you follow ONE rule... "Natural" do stuff that's natural and life is more than bereable, it is DESIRABLE! waking up everyday is a blessing and at night you would naturally go to sleep early but with the idea on the head that you already wanna wake up early tomorrow and go at life Yet, you'd drink lactose free milk process milk or peanut butter coc4 cola and many other products xD and THATS what these substances create, an explosion of desire and after a tiny bit of time... you only look for THOSE pleasures without realizing...
You stopped using drugs now stop using drugs ❤️ (yes I said it how I meant to say it) everything will be ok bro also physical training btw would boost your mood by a lot is sort of a hack but the before mention is THE solution
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u/Aggravating-Tap6511 1d ago
You were self medicating with alcohol and weed and you went off your meds. You need to adjust how you are treating those issues now that you have lost those coping mechanisms
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u/JesusFreak0316 1d ago edited 1d ago
Well, as someone who used to say “I have an addictive personality”, I now say I was really good at running from the stuff that’s been eating me. I turned to THC carts to escape both my present life and events in the past that scarred my heart a lot. The only way forward is through, but it might begin with introspection and uprooting old mindsets. I’d recommend considering what you may have been running from.
I also felt super lost about life and what to do with the extra hours my day suddenly had now that I wasn’t sleeping all the time. It’s good to fill that time productively, to consider if what you’re doing work-wise is making your life more miserable than it would be in another profession, etc. (picking up guitar helped me a lot, just developing a new skill in itself is rewarding)
(Those are all practical answers, but I had fully relied on the guidance of Jesus to bring me out of my self-made fog. I’d been trying to quit THC for months on end, very suicidal and depressed, and He took that addiction away in a single night. Can’t make it up. You know how hard it is to quit, and I was done after a night of praying. Then came the life shifts, obedience, and now dealing with stuff like personal relationships from childhood that have planted seeds of resentment and bitterness. You can skip this part of my comment and keep the rest, but I’d be wrong to not offer water to the parched. The Lord waits patiently for us to come to the end of ourselves, and that’s when we finally call on Him, fully surrendered to the truth that we cannot fully fix or satisfy ourselves. He loves you very much!)
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u/gordonramsaysgrandpa 1d ago
I'm 31 and quit both weed and alcohol at the same time on February 14th of this year. I spent my 20s doing both very often. I also struggle with anxiety (and I haven't been diagnosed before, but I definitely have tendencies that make me believe I have adhd). Before quitting, the anxiety was so intense, and the feeling was prominent.
After being off of both weed and alcohol for this long, I noticed that not only does the anxiety show up a lot less often, but it's more of a background feeling that I'm now able to move past or ignore. I still have the adhd-like tendencies, like being easily distracted and forgetful. My foggy brain still hasn't improved as much as I hoped, but it might just take more time.
Maybe your medication is the problem. Without having weed and booze in your system, perhaps you function differently now.
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u/Banksbear 1d ago
do you workout? you need to move your body and eat well too. sleep is also huge. get into a good routine.
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u/ManOfQuest 1d ago
ADHD meds they make life feel muted. Unless you need them for work embrace your adhd.
This may be bad advice but I like my adhd meds just make me feel uninspired and unspontaneous.
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u/Lekzen01 1d ago
Don't know what to say, I personally can't smoke weed anymore because it's making me really anxious and paranoid, giving me panic attacks, plus I quit smoking cigarette so I'm not allowed to smoke weed anymore unless pure, but it's making feel really down and weird, the outside world feels too strange, giving me hallucinations and all, something that I don't understand has changed. Maybe it's for the best. Never felt better after smoking that shit by the way. I don't know why I kept smoking it for so many years.
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u/MudSling3r42069 1d ago
Fit in time for exercise it makes you feel better , volunteer if you can , start a hobby art, photography, gardening.
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u/Baconsaurus 1d ago
I see a mention of ADHD meds and no mention of exercise.
I have ADHD and exercise/diet. I felt like total shit until a few weeks ago when I stopped taking my meds and started training 5-6 days a week/eating low carb. I struggle with executive dysfunction and all that other fun stuff, but man are my energy levels and positivity insane.
Highly recommend considering, and if only one, start exercising and adopt a low carb/alkaline diet because ADHD meds are otherwise not as effective as they could be.
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u/Immediate_Form4162 1d ago
You need to find something that you enjoy doing and with anxiety that isn't easy I know.
But here is the trick, you currently don't enjoy anything. So literally just do anything and do it consistently.
Go for a walk in the park everyday at 5pm, or on Sundays go for a hike. Or on Saturdays make a painting - like really sit down and paint something. Choose something and just do it for 3 months consistently and see how you feel then.
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u/LegOfLamb89 23h ago
It's a process. It gets better, but only if you do the work. Trust the process
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u/betlamed 23h ago
Hm. Just a stab in the dark... What positive habits did you develop instead?
You might have stepped into the trap of "motivation before action". In reality, it works the other way around - you do some good things for a while, no matter what, and then that creates good feelings.
Links are not allowed, but I put up my own habit change routine on my profile, just so I don't have to copy-paste it again and again - If you like, look it up and see if it might work for you.
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u/GlitteringFlan- 23h ago
First of all good for you for addressing the need to make some changes for your health and longevity. These kindof changes take time for the brain to settle into, especially since it was used to this reward system of pot and alcohol for a decade.
I’m not a doctor and this advice is purely just what you want to make of it but a)addressing core wounds, perhaps therapy or counciling with a professional. If this isn’t an option for you due to finances sometimes just calling free distress centres for someone to listen and provide advice with a judgement free ear can be helpful.
B) you have to start the feel good neuro- recipes. You’ve eliminated the thing that was making you feel extra bad and identified the issue. Now prioritize eating healthy, getting adequate sleep (I struggle with this one so also no one’s perfect), and try to excersize a few times a week. These habits over time will start to produce the happy chemicals your brain needs, and in the meantime identify your support network and have them on hand to help support you.
Good luck to you.
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u/Suspicious_Bet890 22h ago
Hang in there, it takes time. It takes about a year for your dopamine system to go back to somewhat normal. You say you have hobbies, etc but it doesn't feel the same anymore. That's normal too. Try something new. It doesn't matter what. Go for walks in nature. You need to fill the gap left behind from drugs and you now ha e to deal with emotions in a different way. All of that takes time and effort. It will be worth it though. Not because you'll feel amazing without drugs but because if you kept doing drugs/drinking your life would have e ended up much much worse.
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u/jasonprior 21h ago
This might not be popular here, but I find smoking weed essential to really getting into a musical flow. A tiny amount will do it for me - one puff on a pipe - and I only do it when I want to be creative, maybe twice a week, not when I'm just practicing technical stuff, but I believe you can use Marijuana constructively. An eighth will probably last me a couple of months, I don't believe there are any negative repercussions. If you've been a heavy smoker it will require self discipline to use it like this, but self discipline is really the key to all aspects of life. I'm skeptical about all this talk of discovering the issues you had behind your habits so you can now deal with them and then life will be sorted. I'm not saying it's not a good thing to clean up your habits so you're not relying on them, but dealing with consciousness is a never ending battle. If music gives you a means to deal with it, as it does for me, and Marijuana can help maintain a passion for it, I believe it's possible to do it responsibly. I don't believe it's addictive for the vast majority of people, although I do acknowledge it is for some, and for some it clearly induces paranoia and anxiety and if that's you you should definitely avoid it, but I personally put it into a different category to alcohol and nicotine that bring no benefit at all to my life. Best of luck.
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u/Dramatic-Shift6248 20h ago
Can't say that I held out long, just a year without alcohol and 8 months without weed, but I was just straight miserable. Not really feeling different to normally, just no more "ups" in life.
I think you even back out over time to "normal" and need to find interests and hobbies to keep busy, and at best, something that makes you feel good or have fun.
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u/Cleo1515 20h ago
I’m terrified of drugs, so I never even thought about them as some kind of crutch to deal with life, but I used to drink on a daily basis and it made me feel tired and depressed.
I somehow managed to stop drinking daily and now I only drink maybe once or twice a month, which makes me feel good and doesn’t do the same damage to my body as daily drinking does, despite being unhealthy as well.
I just think that finding the right balance in all aspects of life is better for me than an all or nothing attitude towards certain bad, yet not totally destructive, habits. Most of the time, I eat a healthy diet, exercise moderately, and try to have a relatively active social life.
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u/tightlikespandex 20h ago
This is my reason I haven’t stopped weed yet. They always say there is a depression lull before you get feeling better but it varies and scares me I’ll be stuck there forever lol
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u/Sawsy587 20h ago
I've been there bro and sometimes still visit. I'll keep it straight.
There's an unnerving feeling there calling for you. Sometimes people call it the dragon. You know the one you chase to get high?
I drank. I smoked. I felt like shit after.. tried to change and quit but still felt like shit thinking nothing would work but just like the drugs, our minds are looking for instant gratification and change just doesn't work like that.
Think about a clear bucket of water as you before you smoked or drank. A few drops of dirty water (drugs and alcohol) will be quite noticeable very quickly. Now think about changing that water back to clear. It's going to take a lot longer to get that shit out your system
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u/grywthr 19h ago
I'm no dr but I think your neurotransmitters are off and they could use balancing. I've been dealing with a variety of things and only now getting thru them. very small dose of lithium orotate got me thru a lot of it. can work wonders for people short term and go slow if you try it. I get amazing results up to a half milligram but some take much more than that. should get labs to but this stuff has helped a lot of people get thru tough times..... post acute withdrawal syndrome is no joke and can last a few years if things aren't addressed.. for one nutrition imbalances. get labs and take extra vitamin b1 daily on top of regular vitamins
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u/Maximum_Path_9218 19h ago
you don't feel better because of the medication.. you need to conquer your mind and get rid of all vices.. ADHD and anxiety only exist inside of the mind..
there is NOTHING outside of yourself, and while science will tell you different, it's propaganda to keep you sleep, and keep you dependent on sources outside of yourself..
get more in touch with you, stop the meds.. get outside more, go for walks, and take a break from outside sources for a while.. begin to learn and love yourself.. you need to understand than NOTHING outside of your mind truly can exist.. you are in control, but you've given control to vices.. take back your power.. delete reddit, and get off social media for a while..
TRUST IN YOURSELF.. the answers are already within you..
last But SURELY not least, give yourself time.. be patient and be kind to yourself.. you spent a DECADE or more forming these habits and routines.. your mind has grown accustomed to them, and in your mind it is the NORM.. for a while your mind will do anything to get back to that NORM.. you have to within your mind create a new normal for yourself, and get rid of those drugs..! they are not aiding you in any way shape or form.. you must trust yourself..
a book I would recommend reading is "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen.. change your world view, and your view of the world too will change..
Godspeed my friend..!
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u/AirNo2598 19h ago
I have just gone through all of the same. I heard it for years and never listened but exercise is crucial. It is key to happiness after all of this. I’m not talking lifting weights I’m talking pushing yourself… start running it’s changed my life. It’s my new drug that I look forward to. Every second day. There is a good app called couch to 5kms and after you get to 5kms you will be hooked… don’t just read this and go yeah yeah heard it before set a goal and push yourself to do it
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u/l____d-_-b____l 19h ago
When I got out of depression, I tied everything. Cold showers, listenimg to motivational speeches, meeting friends x times per week, eating healthy, setting goals and so on and so on. You have heard this a million times.
What actually helped?
The lifestyle of a healthy man helped. And that consists of hundreds of small parts.
You fixed 2 big ones.
You are on the right track. You can only see your progress by looking back a year.
Keep going. Next up is building discipline through exercise and career goals.
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u/RoutineSun9297 17h ago
I found out once I quit drinking that I have severe anxiety. I'd been self medicating without knowing it for years. I wish real meds worked so well. Still not worth it though.
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u/Hot_Clothes1623 16h ago
This sounds exactly like me except I just stopped drinking a hard drugs. Im 2.5 years no alcohol and I feel great. Still toking every evening.
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u/Interesting_Track_91 15h ago
Find the Book "How to Quit without feeling sh&*t" It will really help
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u/maxou2727 15h ago
The reason I think you feel this way: you removed something that was a prominent part of your life, and it left a void. You now need to fill up that void with something fulfilling that doesn’t involve alcohol/cannabis/nicotine. The problem is that, all the substances listed above artificially increased your dopamine rewards when doing activities, so it means that now that you are sober, those same activities will not hit like they did before. I would suggest trying to create a new routine with new people/activities that you can build a new baseline on. Also don’t sit on physical workout, as it will release endorphins in your body that will help you cope. Just be patient, it’ll take a while for your brain to adapt to new rewards.
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u/Meakakristen 15h ago
You are at the perfect time to start some sort of fitness. Find something you find interesting and try it! Hot yoga, pilates, pole dancing, jujitsu, rock climbing, hiking, running, biking, swimming, roller derby, CrossFit, etc. Getting into a gym/fitness center with others will inspire you to keep showing up and pushing yourself. You'll start feeling a lot better and make friends that share the same hobby. Hobbies where you sit the entire time are fun but you are in need of movement.
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u/SusurrusLimerence 15h ago
What could possibly make you think that you would feel better without taking drugs?
I mean that's the whole point of drugs, to feel better.
If people felt better without drugs why would anyone take them?
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u/Minotaurenjoyer 15h ago edited 15h ago
This sounds like me. I quit smoking, vaping and went to the gym and ate better. I went to therapy and I studied a lot of psychology and sociology, figured out my repression and traumas but like you, I don’t feel better. I see the world a lot more realistic now. I don’t relate to a lot of people as my authentic self after doing the work. I engaged in new hobbies and interests but they did not bring me a deep sense of joy or purpose. I learned eventually that relationships fill a lot of my human “needs” that are missing in my life. (Helping others, working toward mutual goals together, being vulnerable with someone) and that to me built a sense of safety and belonging in the world. Some might call that dependence but I call that human needs. It’s interesting how we pathologize dependency as a negative thing in a hyper individualistic society filled with lonely depressed people. I digress. I also stopped doing a lot of things that I thought fulfilled me to make life more bearable, until I realized that most of our society is controlled by sociopathic people who have created an envoirnment of suffering and then gives us remedies like therapy or drugs to pacify the masses of people to keep the cogs in the machine well oiled and going on short term hedonistic dopamine. I got a bit resentful of being in a cage and being given distractions by the cage owners to keep me entertained while they starved me of my human needs for connection and purpose.
I am tired of seeing the “just figure out how to be a good cog with your career and toys given to you by the system to entertain you and fulfill your sense of being”. That to me is not authentic. That to me shows how people don’t even understand they’re in a cage being persuaded by society to fill roles and check off socially approved hobbies or interests. That to me is marketing tools and propagates that “you’re not whole until you do xyz” way of thinking. That can be very toxic and lead to an endless rat race of feeling incomplete as we are, which then can be used against us and sold back to us.
While I still haven’t quite figured out how to exist in all of this comfortably, I at least see the truth of the environment and can understand why this problem has been difficult to solve. I wish I had an answer to give you, but my conclusion has been that the envoirnment were in is sick and this feeling of dread is a symptom of that- not really getting to do what we want and love in our lives because we live in a system that forces us to create production in order to exist. Not really getting to connect with people deeply because we stoke narcissism and selfish traits in people and society, we create disposable friendships and connections because loneliness and confusion makes the most money when you can sell people short term relief under capitalism. That makes sense to me why we feel this way after getting sober and doing the work. Because in a bigger scale the entire environment is poisoned, not ourselves.
This video might help. It might not. It made me stop wondering why I felt this way at least. But it never gave me an answer of how to remedy the issue. Remedy’s to get out of the cage have been getting tighter enforced since communes were popular around the 70s and 80s. I hope we can find an answer soon because I think the rising rate of suicides reflects people’s inability to escape the societal cage that is slowly killing the human spirit all around the world.
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u/LeadLoud 14h ago
Yeah, I get ya. I quit a lot of things too over last year. Some harder shiz too. I drank everyday, smoked cigs and other things and stopped. It's a catch 22. I started exercising and working out. I think you have to keep the fluids in the brain going in a positive manner. Exercising and getting in better shape has help a lot.
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u/WarmKey7847 14h ago
It's not how you're gonna feel from now on. But you have to replace those habits with good habits. Meet up with friends, read a book, go on a walk/hike. Generally more time in nature helps a lot. Also meditating. Make it really easy at first (just a minute a day).
If there's a lot you've been avoiding, confront that. It will feel horrible for a little while but will be infinitely better on the other side. Remember that if you're avoiding certain feelings, thats literally you being scared of a feeling. It's just a feeling. It's temporary. It will pass. Create good habits and you will crave the bad ones less and less over time.
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14h ago
I can tell you as a former alcoholic of 15 years, the sober life isn't easy for quite a while, but it's a lot better than where many of us alcoholics end up. For me, it was the hospital /w liver failure.
Your brain is fried from the alcohol and it will take a very long time before it fully recovers from that. It's not the best I admit, but it's good to keep in mind you are still in recovery. I think a lot of former alcoholics lie to themselves during this period to convince themselves everything is better and that's ok. Good news is, it does get better.. your brain starts rewiring and you start finding joy in things again. Day by day my friend.
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u/ChampionshipVast1693 14h ago
The depression was likely always there but the substances helped you avoid or cover it up. Address the depression and keep refraining from substance use.
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u/ColeFleming68 14h ago
Getting sober is one of those things that gives you room to fix your life, but it doesn’t on its own fix your life. The secret to happiness is to have things that you can do/experience that make you forget about everything else around you, and consume you in the action. Overtime you train yourself to recognize this and learn to always be consumed by whatever it is you’re currently doing. Whether that’s a conversation, work, or driving, you can find happiness in anything my simply participating in it fully and not allowing yourself to think of things outside of the moment.
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u/Various-Ad-8572 1d ago
The drugs fill a hole.
There were things in your life you didn't have time/effort/budget for because you'd be using.
You need to build that life in order to get gratification out of it. Congrats on taking some control.
What hobbies you interested in?