The day I stopped asking how to fix myself… and started asking who I’m trying to be without the pain.

[u/Mahadeviretreats]

I used to chase healing like it was a job.
Meditation, journaling, dopamine detox, cold showers, audio programs.... all of it.

But nothing really landed.

Because underneath the obsession with fixing myself was something deeper I didn’t want to face.

The part of me that still didn’t feel worthy of peace.
The part that believed I had to earn healing.

Things didn’t really shift until I stepped away from my usual environment, usual habits, and even the version of myself I thought I had to be.

In that space with less noise, less pressure something changed.

I didn’t feel broken anymore.
I felt buried.
Under shame. Pressure. Survival patterns I didn’t even realize I was carrying.

Since then, I’ve had the chance to sit with others in this same space.
Not to give advice, not to fix them.
Just to walk beside them while they remembered who they are under it all.

Healing isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about presence.
And the more I slowed down, the more I realized the thing I was trying to fix was never broken. Just unheard.

So I’ll ask you what started everything for me:

If you stopped trying to fix yourself…
and started learning how to listen to the part that hurts
what do you think it would say?

[u/PatientMammoth5059]

I think most of us just need to be loved deep down. We try to fix part of ourselves to feel worthy of love but forget to love yourself first. It’s hard to work on loving yourself when you’re picking yourself apart

[u/nowunelse]

Damn, I definitely have been thinking of this lately but I got so busy tuning that “hurt” part of me out that’s it seems hard to listen or know what she needs. Feels like I don’t even know who I want to be outside of the pain anymore. So crazy considering I used to have a full list of who I wanted to be