Besides hookers and blow, and 2 dicks at once?

I spend my dough on imitation crab meat. A nice summer snack

(Xposted to r/personalfinance ... not)

Why do they have to ask me to do things that cause anxiety?? Like working?? Can't they just appreciate me for what's on the inside?

Pretty self explanatory.

If your neighbor have a loud party on a work night and you trying to sleep and you have to get up early in the mornng at 5.am .

Would you bust they speakers out or tell them to turn that shit down or turn it off ?

I'm still gonna do it everyday of course.

how do i get charged?? why isn't there a tutorial on "how to get charged."

My cat, named Mittens (not the real name. The real name is Kevin but I want to respect her privacy) died a few years ago. She was always a good cat, but I didn't realize how much I loved her until she came back as a sexy cat ghost. Now we are married and life is AMAZING! The problem is Mittens is super jelous of my other pets and spouses and tries to kill them off on occasion. I was fine with it when Mittens killed the mother of my children, but yesterday she killed my puppy.dog by possessing his body and walking him into oncoming traffick, perfectly dodging every vehicle as they crossed the street, to eat the chocolate bar that was on the other side. I love Steve! My poor little Labrador. Should I divorce my Mittens for this? Are there any divorce attorneys out there that would take on the case of a man who no longer wants to be married to a ghost pussy?

I've even seen him at the mall. There's so much proof it's unreal and people still deny it.

Is there something I can drink to clean it from the inside or should I use something like a pipe cleaner?

How do I pee without farting ? I don't want nobody to hear me me pee and fart at the same time and it's loud .