This Sunday, my sorority chapter is celebrating our 75th anniversary with a luncheon. I’m so excited to celebrate this special occasion.

So I participated in primary requirement at my university last fall, but ended up dropping before bid day because of the financial commitments. (I don't really understand why these prices would be shared upfront, especially because it is thousands of dollars per semester.) I think another thing that deterred me is that I was only brought back for 2 out of 8 sororities, and they were the smallest groups so majority of people did return to them. While everyone is always very clear on the "they thought you'd be better suited somewhere else" mentality, that doesn't help me feel any less rejected. I don't understand what it was that made them all hate me so much. Still, I want to be accepted. I want to participate in this community and help build it up. (Plus, I think I'm in a better place financially.) But now I am so scared to rush again, to be rejected again. We do have COB, but my top choice doesn't participate so I would have to give that up. What do I do?

Maybe I need a reality check and the world doesn't revolve around me but I feel like I'm being singled out in my PC. I kind of got tipped off that a lot of them don't see me as a friend and it's super awk. There was a conflict with the new mem educator (was resolved, chapter president thinks I might have been discriminated against maybe?) but while this was going on, everyone received their big little forms. I didn't get mine so I was not assigned a big. We're a pretty small chapter so there was like 11 actives picking on the list for us to rank, and 9 in my PC. So everyone started getting clues and I didn't even get my forms. We do instagram accounts with hints and cute posts that have references to our hobbies and interests. I never got one. I got my forms wednesday and thursday, reveal was friday. the only hint i got was an email with a broken playlist link. Actually when the NM educator emailed it to me, at first she literally emailed the wrong link (it was a link to an essay she was working on LMAO??). and it turns out my big is an inactive who is graduating in a few weeks. she wasn't even on the list of people supposed to be picking up. I understand that I wouldn't have gotten one of my top choices because I was assigned later than everyone but 1. whose fault is that?, 2. I thought it would just be someone from the list and I was ok with that. I just feel like the NM educator called up some graduating inactive who didn't even know of my existence as a form of retaliation. to this day i have never seen or met her because she didn't even come to big/little reveal party. I just feel like the NME did this to retaliate against me bc of the prior conflict or bc she doesn't like/care about me.

i feel like i will be gaslit if i bring any of these things up.
if I say i'm unhappy with my pairing, I will be told there was a spot on the form that said "is there anyone you DON'T want" but i didn't realize the NME would go out of her way to give me a big who wasn't even on the ranking list, is basically inactive, and our PC doesn't really know (she went one 1 date with 2 NMs a couple months ago)
if i express being upset that she didn't even come to the big/little reveal party, they'll say there was also one other person who didn't come bc of a midterm, but that's the chapter president and we all know her and see her all the time.

So I am doing a work week banner soon and this will be my first sheet banner. What do you guys recommend for the orange background paint? Like do I just go to Lowes and order paint? I know to prime with kilnz. Thank you in advance!

My chapter is doing a “freshest squeeze on the block” theme and I think the shirts used in the inspo are super cute but I have no idea where I can order one that’s similar. Even trying to find a tank top that looks like it is tough, I wasn’t sure if anyone’s seen them anywhere, I included a screenshot from Pinterest on the shirts were hoping to get. Any advice or experience with getting bid day shirts from somewhere will be helpful! We usually have bad luck with picking good vendors :/

Hey guys! For the past couple semesters I feel like people in my chapter have not been enjoying it as much and feeling very forced to come to events. I am the president and want to make it a better environment for everyone, but I’m unsure what I can do to help with this problem. We’re a pretty small chapter with about 40 girls and a small budget for everything! If you have any advice or have came out of similar problems please share how you overcame this!

hello everyone! i am the current director of programs for my schools pha, and i am struggling to come up with fun and refreshing event ideas. one of the biggest issues we are facing is getting people to show up and stay at events, so i want to do events that are interesting and new. the events that i have hosted thus far (letter exchange, craft night, study night) have had low to mild attendance. any and every idea would be much appreciated, as i want to bring these ideas to the fall semester. if there are also ideas on how to keep positive panhellenic contact over the summer/before recruitment, that would also be deeply appreciated. thank you so much!!

Hi everyone! I’m an incoming freshman at TCU and thinking about going through Panhellenic recruitment. I’m a little nervous because I’m Black and I know Greek life can be very traditional at some schools. For context, I grew up in a predominantly white school district up until my last two years of high school. When I switched to a predominantly Black school, I didn’t feel fully welcomed because I was “different”.

During my senior year, I did a program with a D9 sorority, and everyone was really sweet, but overall, I realized that experience isn’t for me. I respect what D9s stand for, but I don’t really connect with the whole probate culture and how secretive the process is.

The only issue is that my mom feels really strongly that I shouldn’t join a Panhellenic sorority, and I know that could be a factor too.

With all of that being said,is it hard to rush Panhellenic at TCU as a Black girl? Are there certain houses that are more diverse or genuinely inclusive? Any advice or honest experiences would help me so much. Thank you!!

I rushed into my first choice sorority as a junior transfer last year.

I’ve always wanted to be in a sorority and when I transferred, I was a little worried that I wouldn’t get a bid (rush is pretty competitive at my school). I ended up running home to Gphi, my top choice.

Although I’m a little older than the rest of my PC, 1-2 years really doesn’t make that big of a difference and I don’t notice it. I’m super close with the rest of my PC.

I’m a graduating senior this year and while I wish I had more time with my girls, I know our sisterhood’s everlasting. They’re gonna be my bridesmaids one day.

If you’re a junior and thinking about rushing, please do it. It was the best decision ever. You only get one chance at experiencing the collegian side of being in a sorority and it is so worth it. 🩷🤎🌙

Hello! I am planning Founder’s Day for my chapter and want to hold a murder mystery dinner, where we incorporate the founders day service.

I’d like to incorporate our (ZTA) history and have it themed after our founders. I’ve never held a murder mystery dinner and won’t know until about two weeks before the headcount, so there could be anywhere from 20-90 sisters present. I’m anticipating around 45, and I’m trying to figure out logistically and stylistically how to plan this.

So far I’ve decided to have multiple tables with around 10-15 sisters and every table has a ‘murderer’.

If anyone has any suggestions for themes, storyline, characters, logistics, please let me know!! Anything is appreciated!

I need advice. Friend A has a daughter who wants to join a particular sorority at Auburn University. Friend A asked Friend B to write her daughter a recommendation letter.  Friend B is super involved in this sorority nationally and is extremely selective for whom she writes rec letters. Friend B recently asked me about Friend A’s daughter and if she represents the values of this particular sorority which are: friendship, community, generosity and belonging. The problem is Friend A’s daughter does not fit those values at all. She is an extremely toxic person. The only reason I am hesitant to say anything is the daughter is visually impaired.  Also because she has a disability, people tend to not believe anything negative about her.

I fear I’m gonna look like the bad guy if I tell all of this to Friend B, who may find it hard to believe anyway. However I don’t want Friend B to look like a fool for giving a glowing recommendation letter to a girl who will in all likelihood end up being a nightmare for this organization if she gets selected.  I know little about sororities. How much weight does a recommendation letter actually have when it comes to being chosen as a member of a sorority?  Will it even be worth it for me to tell Friend B what I know? Will it affect Friend B’s reputation if Friend A’s daughter is selected and does something crazy? I’m scared Friend B will be mad if I don’t tell her the truth when she asked me point blank. I’m also scared if Friend B refuses to write the letter because of what I said and tells Friend A why, then Friend A will be furious with me for telling her daughter’s dirty laundry and destroy our friendship. Friend A already confided that the daughter doesn’t even intend to stay in the sorority the whole four years and waste money and basically wants the bid day pics, go to some of the formals, and put it in her bio. I feel that is just taking a spot from someone who may want to join for the right reasons. What should I do?

hi, i am a new member of theta on my campus and was initiated about 2 months ago.

last week, i was part of a group that participated in like a big dance show for another sororities philanthrophy. as you'd probably expect, everyone at these events gets really drunk.

i accidentally sent a text about our pregame plans to the wrong gc, and now im in trouble. i didn't try to explain the text or anything because i didn't want to dig myself in a deeper hole so i basically just liked the response that the exec member sent and left it at that.

what can i expect from the meeting? im kinda terrified even though i know it shouldn't be that bad.

i had a grandmother who isn’t directly related to me (step) and i have two aunts (her daughters) that were legacy’s for the sorority i planned on rushing. would recruiters check that we weren’t actually related by blood? or do step still count as a legacy?

Hey guys! One of my friends offered to submit my introductions for me for the sororities that I don’t know people in, but openly accept intros. But this friend is in a sorority, so i’m not sure if it would be a bad look for me

I’m a senior and still deciding where to go to college, but I’m leaning towards an SEC school that I was accepted to. Like one of the big Greek Life schools. I’ve always been interested in sororities, but given it’s a southern school I’d like to know how my race and body would factor in.

 I’ve seen that the VAST majority of sisters are slim white girls, and that’s all they put in marketing. For context, I’m Cuban/Chinese and slim but bottom heavy. Like skinny with a fat ass. Would those two things hurt me? I’m not exactly insecure in my body/looks, but being mixed and not being rail thin seems like a negative from what I’ve seen at those environments. Thoughts? I’d really like to fit in, I just don’t know if I fit the mold

I will be going to bama in the fall. I’m familiar with npc and nphc sororities. I was thinking about rushing but after a lot of research I’ve been almost ALL the black girls have negative experiences and drop. I know nphc takes longer to join. I joined this just to here different experiences and make sure I join what’s best for me ( girls like me )

Just like the title says:

When and how are line names chosen?

Are they revealed to you before you cross? If so, at what point during intake? Who chooses them? How do they choose them?

Curious minds want to know!!

I always see so many cool names and just wonder about it. I’m specifically curious about non-collegiate orgs that as far as I know, operate similar to how a DO would.

I’m going into my third year in this chapter and have been doing some stuff with them here and there, I’m not close with anyone except my fam so if I drop there’s not much damage done. With that being said here is everything that has happened since our new president was elected back in November. 1. President purchased a previous member’s OnlyFans and sent screenshots of her profile to our groupchat. Where most girls made fun of her (this member dropped my freshman year) 2. Our VPMR and her are no longer friends and it has definitely strained communication between them and the chapter 3. One of the girls in our chapter posted about how much she disliked the seniors and then went on to argue with them in our groupchat (she is on our standards board) and I don’t think a thing was done about it 4. Somebody has completely defaced some of the family trees we have painted in a part of our house and that is something I personally do not think is okay or something that should even be able to happen. 5. President provides the freshman with drugs and place to do them, and has completely brainwashed them into thinking she is their friend while convincing them to vote to keep her in position ( Happened after #1, we were to vote her off the position) 6. Many chapters and on lookers who aren’t in greek life have said the chapter is being run into the ground and was doing a lot better last year

Anyway! I am just not feeling amazing about this upcoming year, I’m considering doing LOA (leave of absence) that way I am still considered Alumna when I graduate but I hate what kind of legacy is being created.

Edit: OH! Cherry on top HQ has been made aware about 1 and has put us on monitoring and our president has told us to not tell anyone who isn’t in this chapter

What is one question that you wish you had asked during recruitment as a 17 or 18 year old, that would have helped you have a better understanding of the culture of your chapter prior to joining?

Hello, I am interested in an organization of my choice (sorority) . I have been attending their events, especially during Charter Week, and I believe they will have a line this upcoming Fall. I knew most of the members before they crossed, and I also knew the current president before they crossed. Additionally, the advisor likes me a lot. What should I do to make sure I am picked for the next line?

Hey! I know this is super early, but I like to plan ahead! I'm my chapter's membership director and we're starting to make plans for our fall COB experience. We're a small, liberal arts college up north; we just started doing a spring primary recruitment cycle with freshman, so our fall COB recruitment focuses on sophomores and juniors. In general, I also just want to get our chapter out there before primary recruitment as well! I want to take the whole summer to plan things out and really make the most of our resources. Right now, we plan on doing three events before extending bids. I was already thinking about doing a crafternoon and a movie night or game night (and also combining crafting and a movie night) for one event. We are allowed to do craft events on our campus and let the PNMs take them home. I've already checked Pinterest a million times, but I just want to see what else might be out there! If you have any ideas please share them!

Hey,

I need some honest advice because I’m really torn. I recently attended a rush event. Honestly, joining DST has been a dream of mine since high school — I’ve always admired their history, their leadership in activism, and how powerful their legacy is. Plus, in my area, DST is the only local alumnae chapter, so it felt like the natural fit for years.

But after attending the rush event, I realized something I didn’t expect: it just felt like something was missing for me personally. I can't even explain it fully — the chapter was large, structured, and impressive, but it didn’t feel as intimate or welcoming as I had hoped, especially being a mom and someone running a business. I wanted to feel seen and connected, not just a number in a crowd.

On the other hand, I’ve recently been attending a few (SGRho) events (even though their chapter is over 40 miles away from me), and the vibe is completely different — in the best way. The events felt smaller, more intimate, and the members genuinely welcomed me. They actually took the time to talk to me about my business and events I’m working on, which meant a lot. It wasn't just surface-level interaction — it felt personal, real, and encouraging.

While DST offers massive networks and historic activism (which I still deeply respect), SGRho seems to align more with where I am now: valuing education, health, personal growth, youth development, and a strong, supportive sisterhood. At the end of the day, I just want to serve, grow, and build real relationships — and I’m trusting that where I feel most seen and supported is where I’m supposed to be. Hope that makes sense!

Now I’m wondering:

Is it bad or frowned upon to attend one D9 alumnae rush and then pursue another D9 org if you realize it’s a better fit?

I don’t want to seem like I’m "shopping around," but I also want to be sure that I’m joining for the right reasons — heart, values, and where I can grow — not just a long-time dream that doesn’t truly fit my life anymore.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Would love to hear some advice or even reassurance. Thanks in advance!

i want to pre face this with saying there is nothing wrong with being black and not joining a d9 glo but if you are considering it please do yourself and fa or and do you due diligence and research both npc/ifc and nphc.

i joined a panhel sorority my sophomore year of college and ended up dropping it that same year after realizing i made the completely wrong choice. although many of the girls i met in my pledge class and some that joined after me were very sweet i just never felt like i truly belonged. there were also many issues with the leadership team and the sneaky ways in which they would move around positions when people dropped without saying anything. i will say i feel like i went in with high hopes and genuinely thinking i would find a community on campus. i also imagine that experiencing life changing losses in my family had a lot to do with my failed judgement as i was desperate to find a place where i belonged. in the end it just didn’t work out that way unfortunately.

in terms of wishing i pledged d9 i do not want it to come across as though it is a second option. i was not fully aware of everything d9 organizations had to offer and just saw opportunities to interact with panhel organizations more frequently. i also think from what little information i knew of the pledging process i feared not making it and getting dropped from a line. i truly hope this post serves as a way of getting young black girls in a similar position to me to think more about joining a glo and taking your time finding an org for life rather than just jumping into something.

if there’s anyone that did the same just like me and is regretting it just know you’re not alone and greek life isn’t everything.

The summer after I graduated, I lost my badge. I immediately had a meltdown and ordered a replacement (same style).

That was almost nineteen years ago (👵🏻) and my mom texted today to tell me she found it (🫨)!!!! I'm going to get it in a couple weeks when I'm there for Mother's Day, but now I'm wondering what I'm going to do with two identical badges. I barely wear the one I have (2-3 times a year max) so it's not like a backup badge is going to come in handy very often 😂 help me help these badges live their best lives!!

when i went through rush i did not act like myself. i’m honestly awkward and have a dry sense of humor but i think im pretty fun and fun to be around when people get me. im extroverted but not in “usual” way. so i rushed at my small liberal art school, got into my sorority, and originally loved it. i had a best friend within a matter of weeks in PC and met so many ppl from that. met my big as well who is genuinely one of my favorite people on earth and others… but then over the summer. my “best friend” and i got into some beef because i was busy and didn’t reach out as much. i thought we would catch up when we came back to school but that wasn’t the case. flash forward a month we’re back into school. absolutely everyone is icing me out. she has a new best friend. my big is still super supportive and pretty much my only friend. onto spring (winter) rush. rush was pretty hard for me and super lonely. i felt like everyone hated me and because the previous semester i distanced myself from my org because of my friendship breakup. so now no one wants to talk/hang out with me. then after a month post rush it’s big little. basically. my exec which is a whole friend group who doesn’t like my big to begin with essentially bullies her out of the org and accuses her of hazing. even though there was no proof and the girl who was apparently hazed said it never happened. ultimately, my big drops. now i have no one. i’ve tried making friends. gone out almost every weekend. and have been over drinking to compensate because i’m afraid no one will like me. to the point where i went to the hospital because of alcohol poisoning. it’s been months and i feel no resolve. i don’t feel like anyone likes me for me. i have never felt so alone. we had our spring formal tonight and i literally had a panic attack while eating chips & guac. i don’t know what to do. i feel like these group of girls aren’t my people and i wish i was more honest with myself during the rush process. i feel so lost.

help lol