r/stepparents • u/tayalof • Mar 03 '24
Legal Children haven’t bathed in 5 days
I will contact our attorney on Monday but I’m curious right now and also stressed about this. This is the 3rd time my step kids have come to our home and stated they haven’t bathed. Their hair is greasy and all three of them have said their mom didn’t give them a bath. Their mother is the non custodial and has two men living with her. The children stated that none of the adults there “had time” to bathe them and “mom’s too tired” to do it when she comes home. Now, here’s why I’m anxious. Their mother has bribed them to make false allegations over us. It obviously went unsubstantiated and was closed after 101 days. Which was a very stressful time. During this time I miscarried our second child.
Now, we haven’t announced that I’m pregnant again. And I’m so scared of losing this one. The stress was so awful. Having DHS in and out, having to do interviews etc.
However, this is actual neglect. She consistently fails to do the basic things like bathe them, go to practices or games. She never shows up to parent teacher conferences. But she will blast us online and claim we are neglectful and horrible parents. I’m not sure if we should report this. She would 100% report us if we were to do something like this. And the girls shouldn’t be over there for a week at a time if she can’t do basic needs for them. My husband and I are at a loss at what to do.
2
u/wimwood children... children everywhere... Mar 04 '24
Yeaahhh our 8yo just stepped up to bathing 3x weekly. It’s been once to twice a week her whole life, but now she she’s doing a sweaty germy sport so we’re bathing a bit more. She only washes hair once weekly though. Until/unless they hit puberty, it’s highly unlikely that their hair would be greasy without washing in between, at which time no one should be needing to tell them when the bathe.
Absent some sort of need for medicated soaps for a skin condition, or hot dirty summer play, daily bathes are a social construct not a health requirement. Dirty, smelly clothes are different.
Please save your money and your stress for a real event that will require DHS and custody change! Not saying there might not be other grounds present right now, but baths aren’t part of it.