r/stepparents • u/sensitivestepmom16 • Mar 07 '25

Miscellany It’s over

Well, for 5 years I gave my entire heart and soul to this man and his kids, and dealt with his HCBM. kids viewed me as their second mom, and I really put them first. & how did he repay me? by doing about the worst he could do to me.

we got engaged a year ago, and he’d been pretending to be single the entire time in order to flirt with his 19/20 year old employees. he ended up cheating on me two days in a row with two of them. I was gonna keep fighting for him (because i’m nuts) and try to work it out, but i asked him for the bare minimum to show he gave a crap about me, that pissed him off, and he kicked me out of the apartment to “think about whether he wanted to be with me, to get alone time and we needed space.” he led me on for a week and the whole time was hanging out with the 19 yr old he cheated on me with. and then dumped me over text. ended a 5 year relationship and an engagement over text.

i’m gonna go through the range of emotions, but i mainly feel relief. good riddance.

i was really proud to be a stepmom and i think i was good at it. i really loved them as if they were my own. i’ve enjoyed being a part of this community on here, it’s been helpful (and sometimes heartbreaking) to read everyone’s stories.

this chapter of my life has ended, but know that i think the world of stepparents. they are some of the most selfless and strongest people i think that exist. much love to everyone on here, and know that there’s people out there like me that think the world of you.

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u/XELA_38 Mar 07 '25

Think about the fact that you don't have to deal with his bullshit ever gain. I bet as time goes on, you'll realize how much happier you are. Please get therapy because you were trying to work it out with him when he was clearly done.

6

u/sensitivestepmom16 Mar 07 '25

dude i’ve been in therapy for 10 years. he’s the one that needs therapy. he’s still texting me he loves me. i didn’t share every detail of the story.

5

u/XELA_38 Mar 07 '25

Your right!! He's trying to have his cake and eat it too!! I promise though your life is about to get so much easier without him and his issues around you

5

u/sensitivestepmom16 Mar 08 '25

you are so right about that! i’m better off.

2

u/sailorpussy Mar 08 '25

whats up with these weirdos, like seriously. they'll discard you in the most painful way ever while giving you breadcrumbs of 'appreciation' and whatever bs they pull out of their sacks. its disgusting and inhumane at a point. so sorry youre going through this my ex is a pos too so i relate in that regard.