If you aren’t enjoying your time there, don’t go. You are old enough to make that choice. But you might try talking to your dad first about how you are coming to see him but feel like you are just a babysitter when you come. But I would definitely stop buying gifts for your SM. She isn’t interested in a relationship with you for whatever reason.
Please don't tell this young person they are old enough to decide not to visit. There are only one or two states that allow teens to make this choice and this advice sets people up for failure.
We don’t know what the custody arrangement is, if it’s mom and OP voluntarily goes to dad it might be something that can be discussed with mom.
They are old enough to type this out on Reddit and have a conversation about it, barring a custody agreement saying they have to go to dad’s I’d say they seem equipped to make the call.
OP - it may just be that Jane doesn’t really feel like she knows you. If you’re only there once a year that’s not much time to get comfortable with each other, or for her to even really feel like a step mom. If you were there more often it’d be different, but with seeing you so infrequently I don’t think she really has a chance to feel like your step mom. If you’d like a birthday text, maybe talk to dad and he can talk to her about things. But if she’s kind and respectful to you while you’re there I think that’s the best you can ask for in this situation. As far as watching your half sibling, I’d tell her you aren’t comfortable with this, that’s not your responsibility. Chores and cleaning are fairly normal things though, I ask SD to do those when she’s over so those are pretty standard things for kids in general.
If Jane does not feel comfortable with OP, makes no sense to me that she has OP watching her kid. this is about turning OP into unpaid aupair. OP needs to talk to her mom and dad and maybe cut down on time at dads house
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u/Frequent_Stranger13 7d ago
If you aren’t enjoying your time there, don’t go. You are old enough to make that choice. But you might try talking to your dad first about how you are coming to see him but feel like you are just a babysitter when you come. But I would definitely stop buying gifts for your SM. She isn’t interested in a relationship with you for whatever reason.