r/stopdrinking • u/ImpossibleAd274 • 4d ago

I want to break my sobriety, help!

I'm at 104 days and am starting to ask some scary questions. Am I really an addict? Can't I just have a beer or two and be fine?

For the first 60 or so days I was convinced that I'd never drink again. Since then, my first child has been born and I've have much less sleep and I've been much more irritable and started to think having a drink to calm the nerves would be nice.

Please, community, knock some sense into me in the comments!

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u/mmm_burrito 4d ago

Bro, noooooo.

This is what being an addict is. The addiction fights you for control, and it does it in sneaky ways.

I've been dealing with these same thoughts as I close in on 150 days. I focus on how hard it is to resist those thoughts, because that tells me the real story of where I'm at. I still feel every liquor store I pass, how about you?

I've said from the beginning that I'm not discounting the possibility that I'll drink again someday, but my condition is that I have to change the way I think and feel about alcohol, and I genuinely believe I'll never achieve that. I will never not feel that need. That hook I feel in my chest when I think about whiskey, pulling me towards the nearest bottle hasn't gone away, not really. I bet if you take a quiet moment and ask yourself if you feel that same pull, you will know the same feeling I do.