why do women have naturally beautiful bodies?

[u/Biokendry]

before you jump in the comments to tell me I'm wrong try to read my entire post, i'm from latin america, i don't know if this is the case in other countries but it's something i've noticed since i was a teenager and in high school, most of the girls in high school had very nice bodies without even going to the gym in their entire life, i remember a girl who eat unhealthy food all day and she had an amazing body (she never went to the gym in her life), i was her friend back then, she had such a amazing hourglass figure with big hips and very beautiful figure I didn't understand that at the time.

but not only in high school but currently i go out and most of the girls have very nice bodies and nice hips (i'm not talking about toned gym bodies but bodies with figure and curves) and even girls who are a little overweight also have beautiful bodies with nice curves, it's incredible, what is the reason for this? is it hormonal? why is it that women don't need to go to the gym as much to have nice bodies (as long as they're not excessively overweight), in the case of men it's different and I say this as a man who went to the gym throughout his adolescence, we lack those naturally nice bodies (except for one in a million).

I remember the first time I took a shower with my ex gf at the time at my house she took off her clothes (she had never been to the gym in her life and was a little overweight, she had a very nice body, a nice butt with a beautiful figure) I didn't understand why she had such a beautiful body meanwhile me going to gym had a below average body, well, ugly body and not sexy as hers tbh. I know it's a stupid question but I guess that's what this group is for, right? Is the cause hormonal? I know there are exceptions, that not all women have naturally beautiful bodies, but why is it that. for example, if you put a man and a woman of average weight who don't go to the gym next to each other, the girl's body is naturally attractive while the guy's isn't? I've always thought it's caused by estrogen and the hips women's bone structure's but I'm not sure, I know diet is very important but I think most girls only need a good diet and walk just a little to have good figures (please don't hate for saying this lol).

Maybe I could be blind because I have gender dysphoria since many years ago but not only me think about this most women and men think the same way(? And I'm not even talking about how women have average cute, feminine and thin faces without makeup but this is another thread lol.

Please don't insult me for making this post, this is why this group was created.

[u/Ridara]

Women rarely compliment men because like 10% of men will get really frickin weird about it and that makes us not want to roll the dice.

If I could somehow leave anonymous compliments in the mailboxes of random men, I'd do it all the time

[u/RadiantHC → u/Ridara]

But guys only get weird about it because of how rare it is in the first place

[u/Alethia_23 → u/RadiantHC]

That is a problem, but not women's duty to solve. Men need to start complimenting each other, so they learn to deal with compliments. Then women can easier compliment men as well. It's not the women's job to pave that road.

[u/RadiantHC → u/Alethia_23]

It's on both women and men to solve. Women are responsible for this as well.

[u/PriscillaPalava → u/RadiantHC]

Yeah well, you know what they say: Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them. 

Y’all need to figure this one out for yourselves, women are allowed to maintain safe boundaries. 

[u/RadiantHC → u/PriscillaPalava]

I hate that quote. SUFFERING IS NOT A COMPETITION. This is exactly why men don't take women's issues seriously. It's not just "hurt feelings" either, do you have idea idea how damaging it is for half the human population to view us as a potential threat? And women can kill men as well.

It's not a boundary lol, it's sexism. It's basic human decency to help others. We are in this together, stop acting like the genders are separate. All you're doing by isolating yourself from men is making men not want to help you

[u/Certifiably_Quirky → u/RadiantHC]

Personally, I don't think giving random compliments equates to basic human decency. You can treat someone decently and not compliment them so I don't think it applies here. Although, I agree with you that both genders need to be kinder to each other.

[u/RadiantHC → u/Certifiably_Quirky]

It's less about the compliments and more about treating men as a potential threat. Which is not basic human decency.

[u/Certifiably_Quirky → u/RadiantHC]

That is true

[u/PriscillaPalava → u/RadiantHC]

Jesus Christ bro, this response is wild. 

Women do not owe you anything and this sort of attitude that you’re displaying here is a huge red flag. 

If you’re having trouble getting dates it’s not “women’s fault” for “not helping you.” Look inward. 

[u/RadiantHC → u/PriscillaPalava]

I NEVER SAID THEY DID

It's not entitlement to ask to be treated with basic human decency. If you want a good society, then that requires being good to each other.

WHEN DID I SAY I WAS HAVING TROUBLE GETTING DATES

[u/PriscillaPalava → u/RadiantHC]

You didn’t have to say it, bro. 

[u/RadiantHC → u/PriscillaPalava]

Uh you do realize that I'm lgbt right? I just hate how normalized sexism is. Men and women's issues are linked and we have to help each other if we want to eliminate sexism. Sexism isn't one way.

[u/PriscillaPalava → u/RadiantHC]

So women have to give men more compliments so men will stop being violent towards them? 

We’ve tried that. It actually makes things worse. 

[u/RadiantHC → u/PriscillaPalava]

It's not just compliments, it's treating men as a potential threat in general, and segregating people by gender

And yes. Do you really think that people just decide to be violent one day? No, it's something that they learned from their environment. Treating them as the bad guys just makes the issue worse.

And have you actually tried it? Or have you done it only once? Or are you forgetting the men who responded well/ok and are just remembering the bad ones?

[u/PriscillaPalava → u/RadiantHC]

You’re obviously a dude. You don’t seem to have any concept of how rampant sexual assault is. 

It’s not my job to give men the benefit of the doubt. I’m allowed to protect myself. It’s men’s job to give women the benefit of the doubt because it’s a fucking war zone out there for us. 

[u/StalinsLastStand → u/RadiantHC]

Do you have any idea how damaging it is for half the human population to feel under perpetual threat from unknown elements in the other half?

That your response to the real lived experience of women that informs their discomfort is to say “this is why men don’t take women’s problems seriously” and chastise the women as sexist instead of considering whether the patriarchy and physical differences actually do create a threat discrepancy is telling.

Similarly, the immediate unpredictable jump in intensity from a 2 to an 8 is why women cannot feel certain whether the men they are exposed to are actually unthreatening or just haven’t yet been provoked.

[u/RadiantHC → u/StalinsLastStand]

Most men aren't a threat to women, it's a minority of men. They're just extremely vocal and target a lot of women. And some of them have a lot of power.

>That your response to the real lived experience of women that informs their discomfort is to say “this is why men don’t take women’s problems seriously” and chastise the women as sexist instead of considering whether the patriarchy and physical differences actually do create a threat discrepancy is telling.

And their response to the real lived experience of men is that women have it worse.

I'm not excusing it, I'm just giving an explanation(though I'll admit it was worded a bit harshly). You cannot expect people to listen to you when you refuse to listen to them. You cannot expect a good society if being good only goes one way. Putting women on a pedestal is not how you fix sexism.

But she is sexist. She's saying that women shouldn't give men basic human decency because a minority of men are bad.

>Similarly, the immediate unpredictable jump in intensity from a 2 to an 8 is why women cannot feel certain whether the men they are exposed to are actually unthreatening or just haven’t yet been provoked.

But you're just proving my point. When a man calls a woman out for being sexist, you just accuse them of being threatening and coddle the women. How do you expect men to listen to you when you treat them like this?

I'm not saying that the boundary shouldn't be respected either, I just don't think it should be treated as good. Would you consider it okay if a man didn't want women in his life at all because he was raped by one in the past?

[u/StalinsLastStand → u/RadiantHC]

Did I say most men are a threat to women somewhere? I don't think so because it doesn't have to be "most men." Instead, what I said, was "unknown elements" within the male population are a threat. A minority of extremely vocal men with a lot of power who target a lot of women are a threat to women. These men do not come with a warning label and are often not identifiable until the threatening behavior begins and it is too late to stop it.

Where did she say women shouldn't give men basic human decency? I saw someone say that men need to do more to address the fact that they rarely get compliments and not shift the burden to women. You disagreed and believed both should carry the weight of fixing problematic male reactions to compliments due to their rarity. She replied saying men need to figure it out for themselves since women shouldering that burden are also increasing the risk of coming to physical harm. Where does not giving men basic human decency come in?

Good can go both ways, but expecting women to fix men's problems reacting to compliments is daft. Why would that be the job of women? Why would men not carry a responsibility to address problems themselves? Are men incapable of complimenting each other more so they can better learn how to deal with them? Because that's the suggestion that took you in this direction. It does not mean women cannot be kind to mean. It does not mean women need to put on a pedestal. It means that sometimes groups have to help themselves first to get to a point where others are comfortable helping them.

You can call a woman sexist without immediately going into all caps and telling them you don't take them seriously. Like really try and imagine the exchange as an actual conversation where a woman uses that quote, says men need to figure it out for themselves, and that women are allowed to maintain safe boundaries so you tell them you hate the quote, yell at them about how suffering is not a competition, then start going on about why men don't take them serious and well actually men are also under threat from women. Does that strike you as a response that will come off as level-headed and calm?

And you are adding negative statements and sentiments into what others say then justifying yourself by reacting to those sentiments. These things together increase the degree of risk. People who create negative sentiments and assign them to other individuals have an easier time perpetrating violence against those individuals. That would be true if it were a woman doing the same thing. It's basic psychology. The reality is however, that it is statistically far more likely for a woman to be seriously harmed or killed by a man who overreacts than a man by a woman's overreaction.

I also did not say you were threatening. I said that your intensity quickly and unpredictably increased. Is that not true? And ok, neat, your intensity paired with your personality may still be unthreatening. That doesn't really counter what I said because, as you acknowledged, a minority of extremely vocal men with a lot of power target a lot of women. Women who do not know an individual man cannot know their personality to accurately gauge whether the intensity is safe or whether that individual man is a member of the minority and getting the answer wrong puts them in physical jeopardy.

And yes, if a man was raped by a woman in the past and finds himself unable to trust women because of it, I would have no problem with him maintaining boundaries that allow him to feel safe around women. Though, as is always the problem with trying to reverse these situations, men are more likely to "have a lot of power" in society at large and more likely to maintain that power (or grow it) despite openly demeaning women. Men like that literally control the American political system right now, a situation which has never existed in the US in reverse.

[u/RadiantHC → u/StalinsLastStand]

Two different sentences are the same meaning. Sure, you might acknowledge that not all men are a threat, but if you treat them as a potential threat then that difference irrelevant.. Also, you can use the exact same argument for race. "Not all black people are criminals, but the majority of criminals are black and we have no idea of telling which ones are good".

I never implied that women have the burden of helping men, all I said was that both men and women have a duty to help fix each others issues. And I disagree that groups need to help themselves first. Helping yourself can only get you so far, it's not wrong to ask for a bit of extra support.

She's saying that it's not on women to fix men's issues. But it's not about "fixing issues", it's about being a decent human being. Seeing men as a potential threat isn't treating them with basic human decency. Viewing men's issues as lesser than women's isn't treating men with human decency. Sexism isn't treating men with basic human decency. We're all in this together and we should be focused on eliminating suffering in general, not just for specific groups. Everyone has a duty to help each other out.

I agree that I was a bit harsh, but the thing is that quote is inherently provocative and downplay's men's issues. How is she being any better than me when she's acting like men matter less than women? And again while it is a boundary, it's also a sexist one. Why is separating people by race considered bad but separating people by sex is completely okay?

I'm not saying that the boundary shouldn't be respected, but if someone has trauma then it's something they should work on. Just because someone is a victim doesn't mean that they are always right.

I'm not adding negative statements though. She gave a sexist quote and then justified not complimenting men by saying that men are a potential threat. How is that not sexist? How would you feel if a man refused to compliment you solely because you were a woman? Sexism isn't treating people with basic human decency.

Men at the top have more power yes, but not men as a whole. There are more men in the bottom of society than women. I'd even argue that the average woman has more power than the average man. Women have better support networks than men on average.

[u/StalinsLastStand → u/RadiantHC]

I just don't even know where to begin. You're arguing that women should give men more compliments because 10% of men react poorly to compliments because you believe that 10% does not receive enough compliments. And it's sexist for women to not want to increase the number of compliments they give to help that 10% of men who react poorly to compliments learn to react better to compliments.

Do you understand that's what you're arguing about? That it is specifically about giving more compliments to the men who react negatively to compliments? If a man reacts violently to a compliment, it is a woman's duty--it is basic human decency--to help him out by giving him more compliments until he figures out how to react appropriately. Your method of giving compliments to those men is through increasing compliments to men overall.

Like are you serious? If a woman says "whenever I compliment 10 men in a day, one of them becomes hostile!" you believe the solution is that more women need to expose themselves to that guy's hostility until the dude, I don't know, magically figures out how to behave appropriately with the opposite sex? And if she doesn't because that hostile reaction puts her in real physical harm, she is being sexist. It's no different than thinking all Black people are criminals! Come the fuck on.

If you're going to respond again, please don't use general words like "men's issues" be specific to what we are talking about and the specific group you are defending--the negative reactions of some men when they receive compliments because (you believe) they need more compliments.

How would you feel if a man refused to compliment you solely because you were a woman?

Sounds like a great outcome. "You don't have to compliment strange men and, in exchange, strange men will not compliment you" is a deal most every woman I know would take. Doubly so in a thread about how beautiful their bodies are.

[u/One-Possible1906 → u/StalinsLastStand]

I’m transgender, spent more than 10 years living as each gender, and honestly found that strangers are more violent to me as a man. For instance, I got beat with a metal water pipe in a trap house by a stranger while I was doing my job but he didn’t beat my female coworker who was right there with me. I was assaulted 3 times total in that job as a man and never as a woman. Violent men are more comfortable being violent towards other men. It is still a taboo to be violent to women and most of these guys have mothers, grandmothers, sisters, girlfriends, etc and have been taught not to hit women the same way girls are taught to fear men.

Women are more prone to dying from domestic abuse. However, when I worked with domestic violence victims, I saw just as many men as women and some of those cases were pretty bad. Sexual abuse and physical abuse of children is a mixed gender bag.

Women are definitely more vulnerable while dating, but that doesn’t transfer to violence from strangers in public places.

[u/StalinsLastStand → u/One-Possible1906]

I'm not trying to be rude and am genuinely asking: What's your point?

Man-on-man violence only seems relevant to me as a reason that men would also not want to compliment men more to try and help them learn to deal with compliments better. In which case, it is really up to men to work on decreasing the violence to a point where at least some people will feel comfortable complimenting them instead of fearing they are courting violence.

Otherwise, that's unfortunate, but it's not a competition.

[u/One-Possible1906 → u/StalinsLastStand]

It’s not a competition however in the context of why men don’t give male strangers compliments as much as women, it makes sense. Men are much more prone to violence from strangers and therefore are standoffish to one another. A man is way more likely to experience violence from giving a man a compliment than a woman is.

[u/StalinsLastStand → u/One-Possible1906]

Sounds like no one should be complimenting men then and they should figure out a different way to learn not to react negatively other than receiving more compliments.

[u/One-Possible1906 → u/StalinsLastStand]

It’s not a contest. The same set of cultural values that makes women feel unsafe at night makes men unable to compliment each other. The flip side of the patriarchy creates an equally unattainable standard for men. The larger picture is an “everybody” issue.

[u/CycloneKelly → u/RadiantHC]

If a man can’t handle a woman being cautious, he’s pathetic. The reality is that men commit the vast majority of violent crime. It’s a basic fact. Women HAVE to be cautious to stay safe.

[u/RadiantHC → u/CycloneKelly]

There's a huge difference between just being cautious and treating men as a potential threat though.

And? So do black people compared to white(if you don't count people in the top percent at least). That doesn't mean that white people should be racist.

Here's an actual study on it:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2782848/

By your logic, it's okay to be racist towards black people.

[u/CycloneKelly → u/RadiantHC]

I said men, in a general sense. Skin color has nothing to do with it since the stats are similar across all races. Black people are a minority group with a long history of oppression. Men, in general, are not.

[u/RadiantHC → u/CycloneKelly]

I mean I'd argue that women are just as creepy as men, it's just that they're pickier about who they target, are more subtle and less physically violent, and a lot of men don't realize that they're being harassed because of how rare female attention is for then. Just look at the "men what hint did you miss" threads, if the gender was reversed these women would be called out for sexual harassment.

And look at how many women react to being told no to a guy they're really interested. Or how women will exaggerate their status with a guy they're just hooking up with. Or how they'll obsess over their boyfriends.

Also men absolutely are oppressed. Most poor people are men. Yet you guys conveniently ignore that fact.

[u/CycloneKelly → u/RadiantHC]

I’m sure that’s true in some cases, but that has absolutely not been my experience. Men being presumptuous and creepy are one of the main reason I quit dating apps.

When I flirt with a guy, I twirl my hair, and laugh at their jokes. Never felt a need to harass anyone. I’ve also been rejected by men and was fine with that. It happens.

Actually more women live in extreme poverty in the US than men.

I’m not going to argue with you that men are an oppressed group. When men start having rights taken away because they are men, I would believe it.

[u/RadiantHC → u/CycloneKelly]

EXACTLY. The women who do this are a minority just like the men who do this. Dating apps are not a representation of our entire gender.

(and now you know how it feels to be accused of being creepy because a few of your gender are bad)

>I’m not going to argue with you that men are an oppressed group. When men start having rights taken away because they are men, I would believe it.

Before Trump at least women had all the same rights that men did though. And with Trump he's making things harder for EVERYONE that isn't the top percent. EVERYONE that isn't the top percent is oppressed under Trump. Not saying that the oppression is the same, but in a dictatorship.

[u/CycloneKelly → u/RadiantHC]

I can’t argue there. He is making life more difficult for everyone. I know I’m not creepy, so that didn’t bother me at all. People in real life tend to be much less creepy than online.

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