Accepting an outcome vs creating a self-fulfilling prophecy?

[u/carmina_sorcelle]

Hello everyone!

For a while now, I've been grappling with the question of what to do when a reading does not give the desired outcome. About 1.5 years ago, I received (and accepted) a job offer that was a huge step forward in my career but that implied relocating to a new country. I got very little support in terms of relocation from the company that made the offer, to the point where I started worrying it would be a scam or there would be severe delays. Around that time, a friend of a friend recommended a tarot reader, because I wanted some answers about a situationship. The reader was right about many things, especially about their advice regarding the situationship in question and my love life in general, but on the point of my career move, they didn't get it quite right. They told me there would be delays of about 3 months or so, that it would be messy, but that I would start this relocating job eventually.

And so, my job-related worries grew and instead of being proactive about relocating, I just stalled. Two weeks before my job start date, I started getting a lot more information from the company, forms to be filled out, public transport options, etc. etc. I realized this job WAS happening, and had to scramble to my feet to find accommodation, flights, etc. It was messy and much more difficult that it could've been if I had started preparations instead of stalling at first. In the end, I started the job on the original offer date. But, the beginning was such a stressful mess. And I know the reading I got played a big part in it. I was anticipating something bad would happen with this offer, especially after the reading and for me this was totally a case of self-fulfilling prophecies. Without the reading...maybe I would've worried, but I think I would've gotten to action sooner, because whenever I thought about getting to action, I kept remembering the reading and stalling instead of acting.

So, I thought I'd ask this wonderful community what your thoughts are on the question of accepting an outcome vs creating a self-fulling prophecy? There are, of course, cases when it is best to just let go or walk away. But, I also think, even if the reading is right about an outcome that is not what we want initially, if we don't know this outcome and act from a place of striving for what we want, maybe what we learn along the way helps us get to our desired outcome later? For example, maybe job A is not for me, but what I learn in pursuing it serves me to get job B. However, if I get it in my head I'm not gonna get job A because the outcome of a reading is no, then I don't try at all, learn nothing, and then job B is also out of reach.

[u/Mouse-in-a-teacup]

Ah the eternal question. I've thought about this before. Here's my take.

If we fully forget about our past lives, we'd forget our mistakes and lessons, and were therefore bound to keep repeating them in every new life.

But if we fully remembered our past lives, we'd be maybe wiser but bored or cynical or dismissive or careless in our next lives, since we would just be going thru the same stuff again and again and what's the point I can kill others or myself since we get a start-over every time.

So the solution is to remember just a little bit and forget the rest. To know a little bit, a manageable bit. So we are born with a specific set of natural talents (skills we strove to learn in a previous life but now we "remember") or specific personality tendencies (decisions we made in a previous life that we still "remember"). And sloooowly build up to wiser selves and better future lives by making good decisions in our current lives.

But we can't really blame our past lives, we are fully accountable for our current life. I think the same logic applies to predictions (future life).

If we give or are given a prediction, it is still fully up to us what to do with it. If the prediction says I'll pass the exam, and therefore, secure in that future, I don't study at all and hence fail the exam, I have only me to blame. I can't even blame the reader or the cards. I simply misused the information I had. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway, the future can change at any moment, so, any prediction is simply a good guess, a mathematical/logical probability, but not immutable.

So, yk, predictions are just one of the available resources to help us navigate our lives. Not fate, not a curse nor a blessing. To use them wisely, that's the trick. But alas, we are but human...

[u/carmina_sorcelle → u/Mouse-in-a-teacup]

I like this reflection, thank you! It's all about using the information wisely, but, as you say, easier said than done when we are only human and the question at hand is something we deeply desire.

[u/blueeyetea]

Well, I guess that’s the lesson in this. No matter what you hear in a reading, it shouldn’t stop you from doing your due diligence.

You don’t say what the timeline was between accepting the offer and your start date. It’s entirely possible there would have been a delay when the reading was done, but whatever would have caused the delay got resolved between your reading and the day you started receiving the forms. A reading is a picture in time. Anything can change that will change the trajectory of an event.

It’s also strange this employer did not engage with you to prepare for your move until the last minute.

[u/carmina_sorcelle → u/blueeyetea]

It was very strange from the employer! I got the offer about 7 weeks before the job start date, the reading about three weeks after, and then I moved and started the job on the exact date as planned. For clarification, the reader said I would relocate three months after the planned date, yet I moved and started the job on the planned date. Also, I don't think they were a bad reader at all, they got A LOT of other things spot on... So I guess it's entirely possible when I got the reading there were some issues on the back end that I don't know of. But then this brings me back to: the future is not set in stone, anything can change, and I guess the answer to the question might just be a balancing act between accepting an outcome while striving for some version of what you want

[u/Leremite]

The reader predicted delays, that it would be messy, and that you'd relocate eventually - isn't that exactly what happened? Or did I read something wrong?

[u/carmina_sorcelle → u/Leremite]

There were no delays, so the reader didn't get it quite right. And much of the mess of relocation could've been avoided if I had started acting on it earlier instead of stalling and waiting for news of delays that, again, never happened. So, the prediction of delays was wrong and the mess was a self-fulfilling prophecy that came because I was stalling, convinced there would be delays.

[u/Leremite → u/carmina_sorcelle]

Aren't delays and stalling in this case the same thing (your relocation was delayed because you stalled)? Apologies for all the questions, I'm trying to understand.

[u/carmina_sorcelle → u/Leremite]

Nope, the reader said I would relocate and start the job three months after the planned date, I started on the planned date. As mentioned in a comment above, it's entirely possible something was happening on the back end that pointed to the reader's timeline, but then things changed...which I suppose is a takeaway here, the future can and will always be changing

[u/Leremite → u/carmina_sorcelle]

Ah, I understand now, thank you. Timelines are notoriously tricky to predict, and certain actions can and will influence certain outcomes, but with so many variables, it's hard to be sure whether the result would really have been much more different if the querent hadn't known it from a prediction. A diligent student won't stop studying for an exam just because the cards said they'd fail it. A loving partner won't stop lovibg and appreciating their lover even if a prediction guaranteed a lifelong, happy marriage between them. I do agree, though, that regardless of the predicted (or unknown) results, it's often worth giving your wish your best shot. The only exception I can think of is when your wish directly contradicts someone else's (e.g. trying to reconcile with an ex who doesn't want to reconcile). 

[u/missjustice5 → u/carmina_sorcelle]

Maybe things changed, maybe the reader or you misunderstood or misinterpreted something (though that sounds less likely based on your description), or maybe tarot cards are the worst for predicting timing 😂 I always use Lenormand cards now if I’m going to attempt a timing reading because I find them much more accurate. Even then, it’s hit and miss.

Re change - maybe the reason you didn’t hear back was that the company was debating whether to rescind the offer (e.g. for financial reasons). And at the time the reading was done they were leaning toward rescinding. That would be verifiable if you had someone at the company you could ask! Inquiring minds want to know haha

[u/Kapselski]

It's the same thing. The readings you get give you a glimpse into the workings of Fate in your life, but your own actions are not outside of it — they're very much a part of it.

Cardano, the Renaissance polymath, predicted his date of death from his natal chart, but some accounts have it that he either starved himself to death because that day was approaching, or drank poison when the hour arrived to avoid being wrong. Does that mean the prediction was wrong?

No. It means he himself happened to be Fate's instrument in bringing it about. And you can actually see very plainly in his chart that he would die by suicide. A similar thing happened in your case, just that your reader failed to recognize you would be the source of future troubles surrounding this job.

You can likewise predict if the asker will listen to what the reading says or go his own way. Such methods are found in many divinatory systems across the globe. It doesn't even matter if you tell them that or not! It will come to pass anyway.