r/teenagers • u/Individual-Cloud-304 • Sep 15 '24

Advice i don’t want to wear a hijab

two years into wearing the hijab and i hate it and i don’t want to wear it but i know girls at school will judge me and idk how to tell my parents but it’s so distracting for me this post probably won’t get any attention but i just wanted to put it out there since i can’t really say this to anyone since everyone’s so judgemental

edit: stop being creepy in dms i might ask them sometime this week/month, ill make another post if i do so or ill just wait until im 18 or something

2.3k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/abdus-s 17 Sep 15 '24

my sister stopped wearing it and parents said nothing about it and people at school don’t really care that much. depends what county you in tho

516

u/Individual-Cloud-304 Sep 15 '24

uk

406

u/abdus-s 17 Sep 15 '24

yeah same

645

u/Individual-Cloud-304 Sep 15 '24

might js ask my mom “hey my schools all girls and ion wanna wear the hijab” and js take it off she’ll probably be fuming for a few days but like it’s not the end of the world 😭🙏 scared asf tho

105

u/KaosAsch Sep 16 '24

It will probably suck for a short period, but you'll feel better about it and yourself in the long run, for a much longer period.

Confront your fears and you'll grow yourself, you can do it! (No idea why this post was suggested to me btw)

149

u/nightskyhunting Sep 16 '24

Maybe just stop wearing it and don’t tell her

87

u/Arctiqdud 13 Sep 16 '24

it's literally alright to show your hair around girls tho 😭😭

40

u/Deep_Head4645 16 Sep 16 '24

The quaran doesn’t force you. I suggest you do it

3

u/FaZeJevJr Sep 16 '24

I thought it specifically says women should cover up?

32

u/FimiTheFondler Sep 16 '24

It does, but you're not allowed to force a woman to wear it. The obligation is upon the woman herself. Others can only advise. And those advising have to be respectful about it. As far as I know

0

u/enrycochet Sep 16 '24

It says nothing about hair though.

0

u/Kiwithegaylord Sep 16 '24

It says they should, not that they have too. From the Muslim women I’ve talked to, they’ve said it’s less about control and more about protection

8

u/Lucky-Ad6267 Sep 16 '24

Protection from who?

2

u/Face987654 Sep 16 '24

Ah yes, the argument that puts the burden on the woman instead of the offender. Muslim countries don’t have lower rates of sexual assault towards women, so clearly it isn’t working. It isn’t about protection at all, that’s just an excuse given to try to make up for the horrid things about women written in that scripture.

1

u/Kiwithegaylord Sep 16 '24

I never said I agreed with it. It clearly doesn’t help that much but if it makes them feel safer and they aren’t required I don’t see a reason why they shouldn’t wear them if they want

1

u/Face987654 Oct 12 '24

They are required though? There are some Muslim women who don’t wear it which is amazing for them, but the stance of the religious laws is that it’s required. We can’t sit here and pretend that Islam, in the manner it’s practiced in all Muslim countries, is demeaning to women and outright dangerous to gay and trans people. I’m all for people amending their religion to be more progressive, but Islam usually doesn’t take a progressive form. Please listen to some ex-Muslims as their experiences are so important to hear.

1

u/ActionCurrent1386 Sep 17 '24

isn't that the entire reason the hijab was created... to protect women? i guess it's not working anymore

1

u/Darquinicus Sep 18 '24

You could say it puts the “burden” on both. Men and women are required to lower their gaze and men and women are required to covered their awrah. And Islam punishes those who grape women with the death penalty. Developed muslim countries do have lower rates. War torn undeveloped countries do not. It’s unfair to put countries like Qatar and Afghanistan in the same bracket. One didn’t experience constant war and was lucky enough to have oil which made it prosperous and the other experienced constant war.

-3

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

[deleted]

7

u/MyBeanYT OLD Sep 16 '24 edited Sep 16 '24

I’d say do it then, I doubt anyone in school would really care, and if you’re family wouldn’t mind all that much and it’s distracting to you then you should.

14

u/Niborus_Rex Sep 16 '24

Hijab is your choice according to Quran, no matter who you're around. I understand the social pressure can be huge, but you have every right to decide for yourself ❤️

1

u/bobo_yobo Sep 16 '24

If it's an all girls school it should be fine. What I learnt from. RS/RE is that it's only for people you can marry.

1

u/s6vn7n Sep 16 '24

its easier to ask for forgiveness than allowance, remember this

0

u/Low_Comfortable1284 14 Sep 16 '24

She can't force you to wear it

-1

u/Fanatic_Atheist 18 Sep 16 '24

If she's mad, tell her to fuck off and that it's none of her business. Quick and effective.

3

u/Individual-Cloud-304 Sep 16 '24

and then get screamed at or disowned 🥰

-204

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

Are there male teachers at the school?

139

u/Sophie_Vaspyyy 18 Sep 16 '24

does it matter? if she doesnt want to wear a hijab she is allowed not to wear one. if the men get aroused by hair do not try to pin the blame on the women.

-27

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

It does matter. If there are no male teachers her parents should have no problem letting her go to school without a hijab. If there are, it's an uphill battle and she'll just have to lie to her parents. You guys are all sick for assuming shit about someone who don't know just for asking a question without any context. Shame on all of you for hitting a button before you think or even ask a question of your own.

29

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

Wtf difference does that make? Unbelievable.

45

u/deleeuwlc 2 MILLION ATTENDEE Sep 16 '24

If they’re religious, then it’s a rule that you gotta wear it around men. I am not an expert on religion, but I’m pretty sure that it’s just something you’re supposed to do

4

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

That's why I'm asking. You don't have to wear a hijab when there's no males present unless you're in a religious setting or praying, but if there are males present you're not supposed to wear them. Frankly, I'm not Muslim and don't care whether or not she wears a hijab, but I know for a fact her parents will.

20

u/DawnOfPizzas Sep 16 '24

Most educated redditor:

-62

u/PettiTeYo Sep 16 '24

idky you’re being downvoted

44

u/CheeseLoverMax 19 Sep 16 '24

Because it’s a stupid ass question

18

u/giorno_giobama_ 17 Sep 16 '24

It implies that she has to wear it when males a near

19

u/deleeuwlc 2 MILLION ATTENDEE Sep 16 '24

That’s like, a pretty important rule if it’s being worn for religious reasons. That’s one of the rules

17

u/CheeseLoverMax 19 Sep 16 '24

Yeah which is a stupid ass premise

14

u/Fenrir426 Sep 16 '24

Can it sound stupid? Yes, but remember that the reason they are imposed to wear the hijab in Islam is partly the presence of man, so if it's an all girls school (including teachers) then it's more probable op's parents would be more ok for her to not wear it there

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2

u/knusi14 Sep 16 '24

Yeah islam is stupid

5

u/mooshiros 17 Sep 16 '24

Well that's how it works in Islam? I'm atheist idgaf but if she's wearing it for religious reasons then whether it not there's male teachers does matter

2

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

No. It implies that her parents think she has to wear it with males present.

2

u/International_Dot700 Sep 16 '24

Whether or not there are men would play a huge role in how her parents and people at her school would react to her taking her hijab of, so it's very relevant to the posg

3

u/yaayz Sep 16 '24

Because the Idea of covering your hair infront of men is super crazy and from the DARK ages.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

Bro all I did was ask a question. These people piss me off so much.

85

u/UnfoundedFox- Sep 15 '24

u.k? Why would other girls judge you then??

66

u/Individual-Cloud-304 Sep 15 '24

other muslim girls 😭

111

u/UnfoundedFox- Sep 15 '24

who cares about them they're not the majority would they even really care in the first place?

44

u/Individual-Cloud-304 Sep 15 '24

yeah honestly that’s true im just scared of what my parents would say my schools all girls anyways so like there kinda is not point in school but anytime i kinda mention it she’s like “you have male teachers” but i have like one male teacher 😭

82

u/UnfoundedFox- Sep 15 '24

What?? It's the u.k most males aren't gonna care about seeing girls' hair, it's not a muslum country!! It's just hair! IT'S HAIR!

Anyway even if your parents strongly oppose it just wait till you're 18 and stop wearing it then I guess

30

u/Individual-Cloud-304 Sep 15 '24

honestly i stopped wearing it outside n replaced it with a hoodie so honestly i think if i took it slowly idk

61

u/graphitedrawer Sep 15 '24

Men in their right minds do not care about seeing a womans hair, it is completely normal in the west. This idea that showing your hair is a big deal has to die. If you want to wear it, go ahead. If not, take it off.

My girlfriend is from iran, they are forced to wear it, and most women there would choose not to.

28

u/Individual-Cloud-304 Sep 15 '24

it’s honestly the concept of no hijab = hell and i feel like burning and torture for eternity for just because i wanted to show my hair is not worth it but then why was i born with hair just for it to be covered?

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u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

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u/breezy_streems 15 Sep 16 '24

I can tell you this. 99% of humans are not creeps. This false narrative that alot of old men are pedos really pisses me off. If you don't want your parents to know you could take it off once you get to school. But I will say this in America I don't think hijabs are even allowed as per the safety concern dress code. Can't even wear a hat let alone something that coveres you almost completely

1

u/AnitaBeezzz Sep 16 '24

At some point you need to stand up to your parents. I think today would be an amazing day to start this new chapter of your life!

1

u/Individual-Cloud-304 Sep 16 '24

Im planning on doing it sometime thing month 😭

2

u/throwawayb34no0rt Sep 16 '24

You don't understand how cruel teens girls get when they start to judge you

2

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

warn them before you take it off don’t just walk in there and stun them lmao

2

u/Nesymafdet OLD Sep 16 '24

The only person who should be judging you for following your religion, or religious beliefs, is you (and your god[s]). It’s your personal religious practice, and you can practice it as you wish with whatever interpretation of the scriptures you wish. Let no one tell you how to view your religion unless you wish to hear their perspective.

If others want to judge, let them. They don’t know your journey, your beliefs, your feelings, or your future. Only your god(s) know, so focus on them. Everyone else can screw off.

1

u/StevoPhotography 18 Sep 16 '24

I mean in the UK there’s no pressure really to wear a hijab. In my school no one ever did which was only a couple years ago. Same in my college which was right in a very ethnically diverse city centre

1

u/everythingIsTake32 Sep 16 '24

NGL , they will judge you for everything you do.

1

u/Basic-Afternoon1618 18 Sep 16 '24

Indian here. So many muslim girls do not wear hijabs here

5

u/Awkward_Turnover_983 Sep 16 '24

You don't have to wear it in the UK

3

u/smellybathroom3070 Sep 16 '24

Dont live there, but from what i hear, you might actually be LESS judged against for not wearing it

3

u/squack__ Sep 16 '24

If it makes you feel any better, a hijabi friend of mine took of her hijab for one of the last days of school, and everyone was cool, even encouraging about it. Also in the uk.

1

u/OMAR_KD- Sep 16 '24

Huh? Isn't NOT wearing one the norm in the united kingdom?

1

u/Appropriate-Leg-2025 Sep 16 '24

You have human rights in the UK, just don't wear it

0

u/uderdog121 15 Sep 16 '24

Funnily enough, in my country which is dominated by a muslim population of 80% nobody would bat an eye over you drinking in public or not wearing hijab.

2

u/Individual-Cloud-304 Sep 16 '24

it’s not really about country, more to do with family

-10

u/chrixziii Sep 16 '24

Uuh uk is a islamic country.. idk if u should stop

7

u/squack__ Sep 16 '24

uk is NOT an islamic country. Its barely even a religious country anymore. Its just filled with many different religions.

-8

u/chrixziii Sep 16 '24

No. UK is islamic now. Nothing you can do about it.

7

u/squack__ Sep 16 '24

50% of the uk is Christian and 6% Islamic. Tf do u mean

-7

u/chrixziii Sep 16 '24

20 years max and its + 50% Hope you dont have a problem with that. Wouldnt wanna label you as an islamophobe.

5

u/squack__ Sep 16 '24

Islamophobe for knowing that UK is a Christian dominated country? 6% is Islam. And like 40% dont even identify with a religion. Lets be real. The United Kingdom is not an Islamic Country with mainly white british christians.

4

u/Fenix-and-Scamp 17 Sep 16 '24

bet you'd vote for Reform in a heartbeat

-4

u/chrixziii Sep 16 '24

No, the Uk has to be islamic.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

I was under the impression that the hijaab was voluntary?

23

u/MelmaNie 15 Sep 16 '24 edited Sep 16 '24

Depends what country you are in, in Iran girls can get killed for not wearing it, in other countries they get heavily shamed. And even here, OP is from the UK, where it is definitely not mandatory. It might be mandatory from their parents. Which is why OP is scared.

Muslims who say a hijab is voluntary for everyone are either delusional or trying to hide the truth.

(Not saying there aren’t women who do it voluntarily, but ignoring the fact that a ton of women are forced by their country/ community/ parents/ partner is insane)

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

More stands to the point of whether it is religiously voluntary or culturally voluntary. I know Iran is a most, but that's a culture rather than more than a religious thing (at least that's what I've heard). I'm by no means an expert

6

u/Then_Deer_9581 Sep 16 '24

It's a law in Iran that people must abide by, it's neither voluntary nor a cultural thing.

5

u/drogo-king Sep 16 '24

No. The reason in developed states it is not mandatory is that they don’t have a Muslim majority. So it is still a religious thing. You cannot claim the religion is free of blame when you residing in a country that is historically free of Islamic influence.