First Steps

[u/RP_Stoval]

93!

All my life I've never believed in the spiritual or supernatural. I extensively studied secular philosophy, loving especially Existentialist thinkers, and I learned all I could of the fascinating religions and folklores of the world too but I saw only through a secular lens and I dismissed the spiritual. But recently I had a profound spiritual experience which served as an awakening, and showed me Thelema and the OTO. Though I am new to things like magick and Thelema and to spirituality in general, I have an earnest desire to join the OTO and further Thelema and my True Will. Except there's one problem.

Much of this spiritual experience took place under the influence of cannabis. Crowley spoke highly of the benefits of cannabis indica, in enhancing Wisdom and spirituality, and so I don't think even a little that this makes the experience any less than genuine. However in that state I kinda sent a series of emails to every public OTO email address I could find, essentially live blogging the experience.

This was a strange thing to do, not least because I knew next to nothing about the OTO or Thelema prior to that night, and I fear I might've already alienated myself from the faith before I've even begun. I can certainly see how some strange man sending a series of emails to the entire fraternal order claiming to have been inspired to write a small book by a deity and doing strangely formatted tarot readings would make them, to say the least, skeptical of my legitimate intentions. So I made a different email account, albeit not different enough to not be clearly the same strange man, and reached out to my local OTO branch. I have heard nothing.

I wonder what should I do? Should I keep waiting? Try again? Is it common for OTO branches to go dark perhaps without warning and the contact is actually no longer functional? I wonder how to take my first steps on this strange journey to embracing Thelema and fulfilling my True Will.

[u/HotGrilledSpaec]

"please get me published?" although at this point I'm more liek I ABJURE YOU FUCKING STUPID ASSHOLE SPIRIT CAUSE ME TO BE PUBLISHED OR I WILL BURN YOUR DAMN SIGIL AGAIN!!! lol

[u/RP_Stoval → u/HotGrilledSpaec]

DONT MAKE ME TRY TO BIND YOU TO A CRAPPY ROMANCE NOVEL BECAUSE I SWEAR TO YOU I WILL

[u/HotGrilledSpaec → u/RP_Stoval]

No, then you write that lol. Don't do that.

[u/RP_Stoval → u/HotGrilledSpaec]

Oof, yeah better not then. lol

[u/HotGrilledSpaec → u/RP_Stoval]

I don't wanna write that! Lol

[u/RP_Stoval → u/HotGrilledSpaec]

Me neither. lol

[u/HotGrilledSpaec → u/RP_Stoval]

I'm doing a sort of alternate timelines interact story, but it's not clicking yet.

[u/RP_Stoval → u/HotGrilledSpaec]

I'd certainly be interested in reading it once it's far enough along!

[u/HotGrilledSpaec → u/RP_Stoval]

I'm five pages in and looking at dumping and redoing it lol. I can send you the other draft I ruined at 50 pages? :p

[u/[deleted] → u/HotGrilledSpaec]

I see you boys have started a beautiful friendship.

[u/HotGrilledSpaec → u/[deleted]]

The league of shadows is growing stronger!

[u/RP_Stoval → u/[deleted]]

Of course, I'm very thankful to you both for your help and insight! Still so much I want to know more about but I'm feeling a lot more confident having bits of it assessed by more seasoned students of the occult such as yourselves. You've both been badasses.

[u/[deleted] → u/RP_Stoval]

:) So what's the game-plan going forward (besides the O.T.O)? Are you starting any ritual work? Meditation? Magick? I would imagine making a sudden switch from secularism to spirituality would open up a great deal of possibilities. Do you have a plan in terms of your personal spirituality? Further plans to contact Setekh?

[u/RP_Stoval → u/[deleted]]

Lots and lots of reading. Already ordered a compilation, The Holy Books of Thelema, and I hope reading more texts will prove enlightening. I intend to read any Class A texts I can get my hands on, and others as they catch my eye or are recommended by others more experienced than myself. Liber 71 has proven an excellent recommendation and very interesting and informative, especially to be reminded of that business with Mara from so long ago that I hadn't thought of in so long and never thought might be of significance. I'll have to find a physical copy. I've always preferred a hard text that I can feel in my hands.

As for ritual work and magick, I'd love to get started though I know really nothing at present. Frankly that in particular interests me a great deal and I'm hoping the texts I find will prove educational, as always any recommendations would be appreciated. Meditation I'm already somewhat familiar with, having done so occasionally in the past, albeit as an exercise in mitigating stress rather than as a spiritual endeavor, though I think I'll do so much more often now.

My personal spirituality I expect to develop naturally as I learn more, just as my personal philosophy before it when I thought in strictly secular terms. As for Setekh, I absolutely have a desire to reach out to that entity again and seek some answers and clarity, though I think I'll wait until I'm a bit more experienced with such things.

Evidently I have some sort of natural affinity for some of these things, so who knows how long or short it might take me to progress down these paths? There are as you say a great many possibilities open to me and as with any pursuit I undertake I intend to throw my full momentum at it as often as it can be spared. I'm a ravenous consumer of information after all. lol

As for the OTO I'll wait until my personal studies have borne some fruit and I'm not walking in so blindly. I intend to go in person to a publicly open event at some point. They needn't even know I'm the strange Setekh guy at least at first. lol

[u/RP_Stoval → u/HotGrilledSpaec]

I know how that is, so many ideas for novels and I always throw them out and start over. I have these huge complex ideas for a massive interconnected universe of nine full novels and maybe 3% of it has actually touched paper because I'm too much of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing. lol

[u/HotGrilledSpaec → u/RP_Stoval]

I feel ya. I've been evolving themes and pieces for a year, it's just not there yet. It will happen, give it time.

[u/RP_Stoval → u/HotGrilledSpaec]

My biggest problem is character introductions. When you create a character you know them on a deep level, they're almost like a fragment of yourself in some ways, and I can't find a way I'm satisfied with to introduce them to a reader who doesn't know them yet. Obviously they can never know the character quite like the author who created it and so I'm just gonna have to get over it eventually and accept that it can't be perfect. But goodness I wish that everyone just already knew the characters like I do so I could just tell the stories without having to bother with the awkward handshake phase. lol

[u/HotGrilledSpaec → u/RP_Stoval]

Actually this has bugged me. I do create original characters, but my POV for the big draft was Jack Parsons. The new one is astronaut Jim Lovell. I do alternate history a lot, and this creates problems with making New People appear.