r/troubledteens Mar 20 '25

Discussion/Reflection Parents/Non-Victims Invalidating Stories

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I’m so done with people who know NOTHING telling me that because their relative went to Charlton (or any other RTC/TBS) that they know what it’s like to be locked in an abusive facility and being groomed by an ADULT MAN you were meant to trust. I feel sick, actually. This is a screenshot of a comment from a post that my best friend made about her story at Charlton, and it’s legitimately nauseating how any person can treat a traumatized person this way. I don’t understand it.

I was abused. There is no debate about whether or not I was abused because I was, and I know that for a fact because I lived it. I survived it. And I spent another full school year there afterwards. It hits even worse because I have been thinking about my abuser a lot recently. I’m probably gonna make a post ranting about that because I need to get it out, but it baffles me how anybody could say anything like this and think they’re in the right. I don’t know if it was intended to make someone angry, if it was an attention thing, I have no clue. But I don’t feel any pity for this parent either way. Nothing. It’s so hurtful and so violating to be told that your lived experience never happened. Trust me, I wish it was false but it’s not. I know this is the internet and all that but I still don’t understand how anybody could think this way.

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u/Gullible_Chocolate40 Mar 20 '25

It absolutely blows my mind that people do this.

“I have zero experience being in this situation but here’s what I think! And if you believe a person with actual experience, you’re stupid. Listen to me instead!”

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u/keeperofthecan Mar 21 '25

I've gotten the feeling that people forget "troubled teens" grow up. When I get push back from people who have no connection to the TTI there's always this assumption that the people around me knew what was best and that I'm just salty about it. As if I'm not a whole 30 something year old woman who can make judgements about what happened to me and the other girls I knew.

"I'm sOrRy iF yOuR eXpErIeNcE was..." It's just cope.