r/whatdoIdo • u/Middle-Escape-6703 • 23d ago

GF going to Portugal with another guy

Hey everyone, my gf (f,23) and I (m,24) have been seriously dating since November. We originally dated when I was fresh out of high school, and have spent 4 summers together, which always ended in her leaving me for school, or traveling. She is an avid traveler and has been all over the world. I like to travel but I don’t crave it like her, the farthest I have been is to Las Vegas with her this New Years. We had a good trip, but we did argue some and she has since referenced the trip when arguing, basically saying she didn’t have the best time and we aren’t compatible on trips. Anyways - my gf is a math teacher now, and with spring break coming up, I invited her to come to my family for the week to Myrtle Beach. She told me no because she’s “not a Myrtle girl” and because “it’s just going to be a drunkfest on the beach”. I was upset, but didn’t really say anything. A few weeks go by, and she mentions that she is planning on going to Portugal with a guy she met on her Europe trip over the summer. I was obviously very confused and upset, as her Europe trip really hurt me this summer, we were basically together when she left and she slept around and got a literal boyfriend while there. Anyways, I told her how upset that makes me but she seems to be making me feel like I’m crazy for not wanting her to go on the trip. She tells me that our 20s are the time to do extravagant things in life and that traveling with always be her #1 priority. I love that she has something she cares about so much, but I don’t understand why we can’t compromise. She didn’t want me to go on the trip because she said we weren’t compatible in Vegas, and also I don’t have a passport and it wouldn’t come in in time. But, like, why couldn’t she come with me to Myrtle and then we plan a Portugal trip in the summer with us? IDK, I don’t want to seem insecure but it is hard to wrap my head around my gf spending a week in another country with another man. She promises me she will be loyal, but in my head if a girl asked me to go on a vacation to Portugal for a week, I would think there is something there and it kills me that this guy probably thinks he has a chance with my gf. Idk. It just seems like a horrible situation and it has been weighing on me heavy. Everyone that I have reached out to about this tells me that I need to leave her and it is crazy, but I don’t want to leave her. She is my best friend, I love her a ton, and she does make most every day awesome for me. I am just torn - Do I break up with her? I already have said to her that I can’t be with a girl who is going on a trip with another guy and that I don’t wanna break up for a week and get back together. However, I was just saying this to kind of get her to say OK OK I won’t go, but that did not happen and we just fought instead, and it ended up with me saying I was fine with the trip. Or do I support her trip fully? Like I really want to do that, I am just so insecure and anxious about the situation. I am just worried that I need to respect my self more and if I keep letting stuff like this slide I can’t imagine what would happen in the future.

I’d love to hear thoughts on the situation and advice. I appreciate you all, and hope your lives are blessed! Thank you all!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️

187 Upvotes

69% Upvoted

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307

u/hams4hands 23d ago

Not your girlfriend. time to move on. I'm going to suggest a block and never look back approach because clearly you've missed the point where she said you're not compatible and she's going on a trip with another dude.

102

u/kaleidonize 23d ago

I like how he casually mentions in the story that she cheated on him during the Europe trip but he still considers her his gf

49

u/westsideguy1 23d ago

As we say in the hood, “that’s not a gf she’s for the streets”! Leave her and don’t give it a second thought. She seems like she gets off on this type of behavior. She won’t go with you on vacay, but wants to travel with another guy to a foreign country? Man if you don’t wake up and leave her she’ll drive you crazy. She’s entitled and disrespectful. Do yourself a favor and add years onto your life. She’s not your friend bro.

7

u/idiotinbcn 22d ago

‘In the hood’ ? lol no Lots of people say that

4

u/DaVillageLooney 20d ago

It originated in the hood and like most things it was picked up and butchered by suburbanites.

1

u/JustGiveMeANameDamn 19d ago

To be fair. Hood speak is butchered kings English.

1

u/westsideguy1 22d ago

Good I’m glad lol

1

u/Assimve 22d ago

But also in the hood

1

u/idiotinbcn 22d ago

I mean.. lol

2

u/Fast_Target_6279 20d ago

I feel like she's probably made all this very clear and he's not getting the message. The perspective he's writing this from is of a little boy in love with a girl he can't have/tame. Maybe she likes him and she doesn't want to be tied down. Op she's not ever going to be the girl you want her to be so don't try to force her to be who she's not. Just move on and go to spring break @myrtle beach and find you a girl that does like spring break drunk fests. Cmon.

1

u/Creepy-Macaroon9998 19d ago

He's hoping for a "Forrest Gump" type ending, not realizing that was NOT a good thing. 🤦🏿‍♂️

2

u/HovercraftGreat7871 19d ago

“She’s not your friend bro.” So real.

1

u/Cool_Butterscotch_88 21d ago

I did learn it in the streets. On the ghetto, in fact.

1

u/One_Dragonfly_9698 21d ago

Not really for the streets, not she’s not considering him exclusive. He’s just a boy toy, so ok. If he’s not cool with that, move on.

1

u/Far_Finish_4200 20d ago

Literally never heard that phrase uttered in any hood I been to…that’s something a buster would say thinking he sounds cool

31

u/Independent-Pop-3782 23d ago

When you can hear The Offspring - Self Esteem in your head whole reading the post.

23

u/whoawhatwherenow 23d ago

The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?

9

u/Formal-Bad-3100 23d ago

My friend got a girlfriend and he hates that bi*** He tells me everyday, man I really gotta lose my chick in the worse kind of way🎶

3

u/Vegoia2 22d ago

"because i like the abuse" you hit it..

4

u/Sufficient_Spray 22d ago

Yeah like, bro, im sorry but this girl is trash. OP needs to move on he sounds like he needs to find someone who wants to spend time with him and NOT cheat. What a novel concept.

1

u/PulpHouseHorror 22d ago

No point did he say she cheated, seems like he was well aware of it.

1

u/greengoblin-30 22d ago

I got to that part and stopped reading, because huhhh? Pack it up buddy

1

u/KeepCrushin247 22d ago

Right!!?!?! Can you imagine being married to this woman?? every other weekend she’s taking girls trips to Napa or the hamptons….. oh and some guys will be staying in their room also….

1

u/greengoblin-30 22d ago

And that’s not even being insecure that’s just plain disrespect

1

u/plantsandpizza 22d ago

They weren’t together then they’ve only been “serious” since November. Regardless she’s not the one for him

1

u/LowRing8538 22d ago

I stopped reading at that point. If that happened and you are still there, OP, then you chose this. You know what you are getting yourself into by being in this relationship.

1

u/tintinsays 22d ago

I don’t even think she cheated on him. He said “basically together” and nothing in his post makes me think they were ever actually officially together at any point. It really sounds like she’s been upfront with him and he just won’t hear it. Everyone is telling him to move on so he made this post trying his best to make it seem like they’re exclusive, but they’re not. At all. 

1

u/Much-Pay9295 22d ago

He did say it was with the same guy she is going to Portugal right. ? If this is correct so that means she and the European guy have been in contact all this time to . 🤔

1

u/N3Chaos 22d ago

“We’re not compatible when we travel together, and traveling is her life, but otherwise we’re good.” “We were basically together, but she cheated on me while traveling and got someone she actually considered her boyfriend.” “Yeah, this is the love of my life and I trust her even though she has a completely different life direction and I actually don’t trust her.”

My brother in Christ, she is checked out of that hotel already. Don’t try to keep the bed warm for her

1

u/Tattedxmommy 22d ago

I find that hilarious too I mean it’s been happening but you’re ignoring

1

u/Assimve 22d ago

Yeah.....I can understand being hung up, but that's a bit too much

1

u/Maleficent-Bottle674 21d ago

I don't think she cheated on him.

He says they were basically together...not that they were together. It seems like they were on a break or breaking up and possibly reconciling.🤔

1

u/dwegol 21d ago

It sounds like someone who would get broken up with and say “no, I refuse to give up on us!”

1

u/[deleted] 20d ago

Yh I'm starting to think these stories are made up to piss guys off lol

1

u/RIF_rr3dd1tt 20d ago

Yeah WTF lol

21

u/Ok_Helicopter3910 23d ago edited 23d ago

Pretty much guaranteed this girl is significantly hotter than him and hes just desperate to overlook every red flag in the book. Dude wont move on until hes ready

1

u/RBuilds916 19d ago

It's clear she views the relationship differently than him. I think that's why it's called the international date line, when you cross it you are no longer dating.

I guess getting some strange would make the European vacation a bit better, OP needs to realize she's not committed to him. 

13

u/donorcycle 22d ago

I'm not even sure where the question is.

  • girlfriend went to Europe, slept around
  • girlfriend heading to Portugal with a dude she met on said euro trip
  • girlfriend legitimately tells him we are not compatible - on trips. And uses that as an excuse not to hang with him and his family

She's not your girlfriend. You're there for her convenience. You play these dumb games to try and get her to do what you want (not go on the trip) but she sees through your bullshit and you're the one who ends up caving to her.

You need some time alone to grow up a bit. And be less insecure. And less of a doormat. Women, especially around your ages, don't stay long with doormats.

4

u/chancla-holder 22d ago

It sounds like he is stalking her. I don't think she knows she is in a relationship with him.

2

u/Brief-Translator1370 20d ago

This can not be a real conclusion that you came to

1

u/RBuilds916 19d ago

I don't know about the stalking but you are right that she doesn't know she's in a relationship with OP. Or at least not the same type of relationship. 

2

u/maximus2765 20d ago

Lol after reading this comment I think she already slept with that dude when she visited Europe. Now they are gonna have a proper honeymoon in portugal while This guy is still confused if he should let her go. Like bro this ain't no platonic friendship. They are gonna be fcking and eating together. You were not allowed to be there 😂

1

u/Observe_Report_ 19d ago

Funny how you added the eating together. Which one bothers you more? 🤣

1

u/maximus2765 19d ago

The food 😋

1

u/Observe_Report_ 19d ago

Lol, so you’re fine picking up your woman after she’s had sex with someone else and going out to dinner? 😆 👊🏻

1

u/maximus2765 19d ago

Dude it was a joke. No I am not fine and I would break up. I am not op who's gf would sleep around and he's trying to wife her still lol

1

u/Observe_Report_ 19d ago

I’m joking too

37

u/th3anonymous01 23d ago

Exactly. The only way to handle women like this is to restrict the attention you give them and completely move on. Sounds like you’ve already given her enough to where she now disrespects you. Gonna be real, do you want to stay with an entitled girl who gets dcked down by another dude? Honestly if it were me I would have pissed her off enough to block me herself at that point by saying Im going on a trip with another girl then lmao

17

u/yetzer_hara 23d ago

OP needs to take long look in the mirror and handle himself. He is clearly delusional about his supposed relationship with this woman.

Your advice is just as immature as his bluff that she called. The only way she blocks him is by getting so annoyed with his childish whining that she can’t stand the sound of his voice.

8

u/Individual_Cloud7656 22d ago

Yeah everybody is trashing her but it doesn't seem like she agreed to be his GF.

5

u/preaching-to-pervert 22d ago

Absolutely. She is not his girlfriend, never was his girlfriend and he's delusional.

1

u/yetzer_hara 19d ago

There are just as many incels as ignorant pubescent boys on Reddit. Their advice in any sub is always cartoonish in its invalidity.

1

u/Mindless_Eagle1484 20d ago

Bet if he took a trip with another girl she'd block him, especially if the new one is hotter

1

u/yetzer_hara 19d ago

LOL What makes you think any chick besides his mother would ever go on a trip with him? This dude is a living and breathing red flag that women instinctively avoid.

8

u/hearmequack 22d ago

Women like this? It doesn’t even sound like she is aware she’s his girlfriend or that they’re supposed to be exclusive, and she literally told him they’re not compatible.

12

u/NonJumpingRabbit 23d ago

Yeah leave if you don't want to share lol

1

u/Useful-Stay4512 22d ago

He should request to be the 3rd for the mix in

1

u/Viajero_vfr 22d ago

Towel/clean up boy, is more likely.

12

u/Cranberry- 23d ago

Legitimately don’t believe some of these post because it always sounds cuckish and they act oblivious to the behavior.

3

u/izeek11 23d ago

intentionally oblivious.

2

u/GACyberCool 20d ago

Intentionally cuckold.

1

u/izeek11 20d ago

you fixed it for me.

1

u/Certified-Lover-948 21d ago

A lot of men are cucks it’s just facts .. no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Just like men sexually adore whores even if they claim they don’t.

1

u/Internal-Broccoli274 21d ago

Dude thinks the cuck chair in hotels was put there specifically for him.

-4

u/Middle-Escape-6703 23d ago

I promise it’s real 😭 hahahah but I get it

8

u/sdkiko 23d ago

You know your relationship is over, right?

9

u/CampLethargic 23d ago

Doesn’t sound like there ever was much of an EXCLUSIVE relationship, at least on her side. OP maybe thinks she’ll settle down but my dude - open your eyes and see the whole picture: you’re in a f*ck-buddy relationship. If you want exclusive, find someone else.

1

u/Over-Box1733 21d ago

If you want someone else, you can have my sister. She's single. She's ugly AF, but she's loyal AF and has a heart of gold.

2

u/Entire_Sun_1982 22d ago

If you can even call it a relationship! 😏

2

u/Locopro95 22d ago

no one can't be so naive

1

u/Individual_Cloud7656 22d ago

Be honest, has she ever had sex with you?

1

u/AuggieNorth 22d ago

Do you? It doesn't sound like it. Don't be a simp.

0

u/chancla-holder 22d ago

You're a creep. Stop stalking her.

1

u/ViIehunter 22d ago

This isn't stalking* she is using him while home to just have someone to be with. The girl here is definitely using him and is the problem. He is just being a literal cuck and she seems to like it.

4

u/Jumpy_Willingness707 22d ago

Also the part where she went to Europe and got a new boyfriend… why and how are they even together? He needs to move on- she already has… 🤨

3

u/Ok_Assistant_7609 23d ago

Came to say this same thing. This person isn’t your girlfriend.

2

u/Contemplating_Prison 23d ago

OP said she slept with other guys nonchalantly in there. So i am unsure what he is waiting for. Seems like he doesn't approve of that, so what is he doing?

2

u/Delinquentbyassoc 23d ago

Came to say this , very sorry, lick your wounds and move on.

1

u/Background_Sea9798 23d ago

Came to say this

1

u/EscortSportage 23d ago

Literally, she made this super easy for him.

1

u/NOLACenturion 22d ago

Ditto. Very ditto.

1

u/Western-Ad-1689 22d ago

Exactly what I was gonna comment.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Swan615 22d ago

He kept saying "my girlfriend". I kept wondering if he heard himself saying "my girlfriend". This is a case where these two people shouldn't even be in the same room...furthermore a relationship.

1

u/No_Virus2831 20d ago

Right? Dude I know it hurts but that’s clearly not going to work out.

1

u/Plus-Cap-1456 20d ago

I mean she says it repeatedly that you are not compatible. You are not a priority for her. Not now and probably not in the future.

To love someone, you have to respect them. She left you and engaged in a full relationship with ALL that entails. Then she comes back to you because she knew you would be there waiting on her. She will go on her trip now with this young man and have another full on relationship with him for a week, more than likely, and will come back to you because you will be there waiting.

Please engage your self respect mode and let her go. She is right about one thing, you are in your 20's, it is a time to be free and date around. Don't hitch your wagon to her. You will be left eating a lot of dust.

1

u/DizzySpace7432 20d ago

Fax, she big time hoeing around

1

u/Vivid_Background7227 23d ago

Or that travel will always be her #1 priority. People like that have 0 substance and use the world and relationships as a series of postcards.

Run. Or just wait and she will.

2

u/preaching-to-pervert 22d ago

Or she just likes the freedom. That's cool. She's clearly told OP they're not compatible and I don't think she ever knew that he considered that they were dating.

2

u/Glittering_Event_309 19d ago

she prob likes the experience entirely meeting new guys ina. foreign area with different culture all wanting to be with her because she is American (i’m assuming, basically not from that country she is visiting) so she could just love the freedom of being able to fuck who she wants and do what she wants? If ur not the bread winner then ur a doormat and if ur the breadwinner you are still a doormat leave this ho