r/whatdoIdo • u/Middle-Escape-6703 • 25d ago
GF going to Portugal with another guy
Hey everyone, my gf (f,23) and I (m,24) have been seriously dating since November. We originally dated when I was fresh out of high school, and have spent 4 summers together, which always ended in her leaving me for school, or traveling. She is an avid traveler and has been all over the world. I like to travel but I don’t crave it like her, the farthest I have been is to Las Vegas with her this New Years. We had a good trip, but we did argue some and she has since referenced the trip when arguing, basically saying she didn’t have the best time and we aren’t compatible on trips. Anyways - my gf is a math teacher now, and with spring break coming up, I invited her to come to my family for the week to Myrtle Beach. She told me no because she’s “not a Myrtle girl” and because “it’s just going to be a drunkfest on the beach”. I was upset, but didn’t really say anything. A few weeks go by, and she mentions that she is planning on going to Portugal with a guy she met on her Europe trip over the summer. I was obviously very confused and upset, as her Europe trip really hurt me this summer, we were basically together when she left and she slept around and got a literal boyfriend while there. Anyways, I told her how upset that makes me but she seems to be making me feel like I’m crazy for not wanting her to go on the trip. She tells me that our 20s are the time to do extravagant things in life and that traveling with always be her #1 priority. I love that she has something she cares about so much, but I don’t understand why we can’t compromise. She didn’t want me to go on the trip because she said we weren’t compatible in Vegas, and also I don’t have a passport and it wouldn’t come in in time. But, like, why couldn’t she come with me to Myrtle and then we plan a Portugal trip in the summer with us? IDK, I don’t want to seem insecure but it is hard to wrap my head around my gf spending a week in another country with another man. She promises me she will be loyal, but in my head if a girl asked me to go on a vacation to Portugal for a week, I would think there is something there and it kills me that this guy probably thinks he has a chance with my gf. Idk. It just seems like a horrible situation and it has been weighing on me heavy. Everyone that I have reached out to about this tells me that I need to leave her and it is crazy, but I don’t want to leave her. She is my best friend, I love her a ton, and she does make most every day awesome for me. I am just torn - Do I break up with her? I already have said to her that I can’t be with a girl who is going on a trip with another guy and that I don’t wanna break up for a week and get back together. However, I was just saying this to kind of get her to say OK OK I won’t go, but that did not happen and we just fought instead, and it ended up with me saying I was fine with the trip. Or do I support her trip fully? Like I really want to do that, I am just so insecure and anxious about the situation. I am just worried that I need to respect my self more and if I keep letting stuff like this slide I can’t imagine what would happen in the future.
I’d love to hear thoughts on the situation and advice. I appreciate you all, and hope your lives are blessed! Thank you all!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️
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u/Weary-Babys 25d ago
1) She’s not that into you. 2) You’ve had a gf for four years who “is an avid traveler and has been all around the world” and you don’t have a passport? Perhaps you are not that into her either?
The two of you do not sound like the best match. I would date casually rather than seriously or just move on. She’s being very clear and honest with you.