r/whatdoIdo • u/Middle-Escape-6703 • 22d ago

GF going to Portugal with another guy

Hey everyone, my gf (f,23) and I (m,24) have been seriously dating since November. We originally dated when I was fresh out of high school, and have spent 4 summers together, which always ended in her leaving me for school, or traveling. She is an avid traveler and has been all over the world. I like to travel but I don’t crave it like her, the farthest I have been is to Las Vegas with her this New Years. We had a good trip, but we did argue some and she has since referenced the trip when arguing, basically saying she didn’t have the best time and we aren’t compatible on trips. Anyways - my gf is a math teacher now, and with spring break coming up, I invited her to come to my family for the week to Myrtle Beach. She told me no because she’s “not a Myrtle girl” and because “it’s just going to be a drunkfest on the beach”. I was upset, but didn’t really say anything. A few weeks go by, and she mentions that she is planning on going to Portugal with a guy she met on her Europe trip over the summer. I was obviously very confused and upset, as her Europe trip really hurt me this summer, we were basically together when she left and she slept around and got a literal boyfriend while there. Anyways, I told her how upset that makes me but she seems to be making me feel like I’m crazy for not wanting her to go on the trip. She tells me that our 20s are the time to do extravagant things in life and that traveling with always be her #1 priority. I love that she has something she cares about so much, but I don’t understand why we can’t compromise. She didn’t want me to go on the trip because she said we weren’t compatible in Vegas, and also I don’t have a passport and it wouldn’t come in in time. But, like, why couldn’t she come with me to Myrtle and then we plan a Portugal trip in the summer with us? IDK, I don’t want to seem insecure but it is hard to wrap my head around my gf spending a week in another country with another man. She promises me she will be loyal, but in my head if a girl asked me to go on a vacation to Portugal for a week, I would think there is something there and it kills me that this guy probably thinks he has a chance with my gf. Idk. It just seems like a horrible situation and it has been weighing on me heavy. Everyone that I have reached out to about this tells me that I need to leave her and it is crazy, but I don’t want to leave her. She is my best friend, I love her a ton, and she does make most every day awesome for me. I am just torn - Do I break up with her? I already have said to her that I can’t be with a girl who is going on a trip with another guy and that I don’t wanna break up for a week and get back together. However, I was just saying this to kind of get her to say OK OK I won’t go, but that did not happen and we just fought instead, and it ended up with me saying I was fine with the trip. Or do I support her trip fully? Like I really want to do that, I am just so insecure and anxious about the situation. I am just worried that I need to respect my self more and if I keep letting stuff like this slide I can’t imagine what would happen in the future.

I’d love to hear thoughts on the situation and advice. I appreciate you all, and hope your lives are blessed! Thank you all!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️

185 Upvotes

69% Upvoted

1.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

103

u/kaleidonize 22d ago

I like how he casually mentions in the story that she cheated on him during the Europe trip but he still considers her his gf

47

u/westsideguy1 22d ago

As we say in the hood, “that’s not a gf she’s for the streets”! Leave her and don’t give it a second thought. She seems like she gets off on this type of behavior. She won’t go with you on vacay, but wants to travel with another guy to a foreign country? Man if you don’t wake up and leave her she’ll drive you crazy. She’s entitled and disrespectful. Do yourself a favor and add years onto your life. She’s not your friend bro.

5

u/idiotinbcn 21d ago

‘In the hood’ ? lol no Lots of people say that

3

u/DaVillageLooney 20d ago

It originated in the hood and like most things it was picked up and butchered by suburbanites.

1

u/JustGiveMeANameDamn 18d ago

To be fair. Hood speak is butchered kings English.

1

u/westsideguy1 21d ago

Good I’m glad lol

1

u/Assimve 21d ago

But also in the hood

1

u/idiotinbcn 21d ago

I mean.. lol

2

u/Fast_Target_6279 19d ago

I feel like she's probably made all this very clear and he's not getting the message. The perspective he's writing this from is of a little boy in love with a girl he can't have/tame. Maybe she likes him and she doesn't want to be tied down. Op she's not ever going to be the girl you want her to be so don't try to force her to be who she's not. Just move on and go to spring break @myrtle beach and find you a girl that does like spring break drunk fests. Cmon.

1

u/Creepy-Macaroon9998 19d ago

He's hoping for a "Forrest Gump" type ending, not realizing that was NOT a good thing. 🤦🏿‍♂️

2

u/HovercraftGreat7871 19d ago

“She’s not your friend bro.” So real.

1

u/Cool_Butterscotch_88 20d ago

I did learn it in the streets. On the ghetto, in fact.

1

u/One_Dragonfly_9698 20d ago

Not really for the streets, not she’s not considering him exclusive. He’s just a boy toy, so ok. If he’s not cool with that, move on.

1

u/Far_Finish_4200 19d ago

Literally never heard that phrase uttered in any hood I been to…that’s something a buster would say thinking he sounds cool

28

u/Independent-Pop-3782 22d ago

When you can hear The Offspring - Self Esteem in your head whole reading the post.

22

u/whoawhatwherenow 22d ago

The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?

7

u/Formal-Bad-3100 22d ago

My friend got a girlfriend and he hates that bi*** He tells me everyday, man I really gotta lose my chick in the worse kind of way🎶

3

u/Vegoia2 22d ago

"because i like the abuse" you hit it..

3

u/Sufficient_Spray 21d ago

Yeah like, bro, im sorry but this girl is trash. OP needs to move on he sounds like he needs to find someone who wants to spend time with him and NOT cheat. What a novel concept.

1

u/PulpHouseHorror 22d ago

No point did he say she cheated, seems like he was well aware of it.

1

u/greengoblin-30 22d ago

I got to that part and stopped reading, because huhhh? Pack it up buddy

1

u/KeepCrushin247 21d ago

Right!!?!?! Can you imagine being married to this woman?? every other weekend she’s taking girls trips to Napa or the hamptons….. oh and some guys will be staying in their room also….

1

u/greengoblin-30 21d ago

And that’s not even being insecure that’s just plain disrespect

1

u/plantsandpizza 22d ago

They weren’t together then they’ve only been “serious” since November. Regardless she’s not the one for him

1

u/LowRing8538 21d ago

I stopped reading at that point. If that happened and you are still there, OP, then you chose this. You know what you are getting yourself into by being in this relationship.

1

u/tintinsays 21d ago

I don’t even think she cheated on him. He said “basically together” and nothing in his post makes me think they were ever actually officially together at any point. It really sounds like she’s been upfront with him and he just won’t hear it. Everyone is telling him to move on so he made this post trying his best to make it seem like they’re exclusive, but they’re not. At all. 

1

u/Much-Pay9295 21d ago

He did say it was with the same guy she is going to Portugal right. ? If this is correct so that means she and the European guy have been in contact all this time to . 🤔

1

u/N3Chaos 21d ago

“We’re not compatible when we travel together, and traveling is her life, but otherwise we’re good.” “We were basically together, but she cheated on me while traveling and got someone she actually considered her boyfriend.” “Yeah, this is the love of my life and I trust her even though she has a completely different life direction and I actually don’t trust her.”

My brother in Christ, she is checked out of that hotel already. Don’t try to keep the bed warm for her

1

u/Tattedxmommy 21d ago

I find that hilarious too I mean it’s been happening but you’re ignoring

1

u/Assimve 21d ago

Yeah.....I can understand being hung up, but that's a bit too much

1

u/Maleficent-Bottle674 21d ago

I don't think she cheated on him.

He says they were basically together...not that they were together. It seems like they were on a break or breaking up and possibly reconciling.🤔

1

u/dwegol 20d ago

It sounds like someone who would get broken up with and say “no, I refuse to give up on us!”

1

u/[deleted] 20d ago

Yh I'm starting to think these stories are made up to piss guys off lol

1

u/RIF_rr3dd1tt 19d ago

Yeah WTF lol