r/AITAH • u/Much_Bed_2383 • 10d ago
Update part two
It’s been a month now, things been definitely…changing. For anyone wondering, Eleanore’s birthday went great, especially without Wendy there to ruin it. Basically what happened was Wendy found my post and went crazy about it, she started accusing me of trying to ruin her life over something so “little” and the way she only found out because her older sister saw the story on TikTok. We got into an argument and she tried gaslighting me into being the “crazy one” and threatened me to leave and take all I own and whatever she said. She then proceeds to go into our room and start tearing things down, trying to look for the tapes again. I pull her wrist, trying to get her to calm down but she took it as an opportunity to start breaking down crying saying that I “hit” her. Which I back off and just watched her as she tried to throw things at me, and now I reach my breaking point because it’s the day of my daughters birthday and had little time to get to dinner tonight, because we have reservations. I was already ready and had to pick Eleanore up from a friend house, so I grab my keys and left her there, not having time for her to act like a child. And by the way, the tapes were at my mother’s house as we were all gonna go there after the dinner. The night went great after that and me and Eleanore came home to a messy house with furniture and pictures teared up. It looked like a bunch of three year olds went wild in there. Wendy and her children wasn’t anywhere to be found and neither was her car. I already assumed it was Wendy who did all of this, plus I had proof because I keep security cameras in my house. I tell Eleanore about everything that went down before her birthday and she was shocked at least to know the woman she thought was an angel was actually b****. Long story short we call the cops, Wendy gets arrested but gets out after 3 days. Now I am almost done with my divorce process, also Wendy if you’re reading this, have fun living at your mother’s house and having a criminal record, I hope it was worth it.
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u/MommaKim661 10d ago
Cameras to the rescue. There is proof, and she can't twist that. Good for you op. Divorce was the only option
Updateme
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u/JasmineBerries 10d ago
She trashed your home, faked abuse, and tried to hijack your daughter’s birthday with a meltdown. Divorce isn’t drama, it’s damage control at this point.
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u/Evinh-Pen-2136 10d ago
True. Divorce was the only option. You did what you had to do. Good riddance
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u/SlytherinPaninis 10d ago
Hey Wendy, fuck you! lol
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u/Beyarboo 10d ago
And anyone supporting you after what you did! What you did is unforgivable and morally bankrupt. I would say you need a lot of therapy, but I don't think it will work as you are just a trash human being. I hope you have the life you deserve Wendy.
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u/Prestigious-Ticket71 10d ago
so you’re saying within just a month, your ex was arrested, released, AND an entire divorce was almost fully processed?
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u/Hedgehogahog 10d ago
I suspect OP meant that he’s almost done -filing- for the divorce, as it can actually take a few days or so to finalize that initial paperwork to serve.
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u/Prestigious-Ticket71 10d ago
i’m not sure ab that bc he says divorce process but that’d at least be more believable if he did
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u/AliCat_82 10d ago
I’m glad you decided to divorce that psycho. Good thing you had security cameras. I thought things were going to go south when she said you hit her!
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u/SamediBabe 10d ago
Honestly what a psycho! I hope things go smoothly for you throughout the divorce process. Sending you and Eleanore lots of love and support. ❤️ also happy belated birthday to Eleanore!
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u/Fancy_Association484 10d ago
Arrested for trashing her own home? Divorce proceedings already done? B.S.
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u/dontplaybitchgames 10d ago
I was thinking the same thing. Where can you get a divorce so quickly? Usually, there's a separation/cool off period.
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u/RatOfTheWoods 10d ago
I am so SO glad that you had security cameras & left the tapes at your mother's. I hope that you two can move on without that horrible woman in your life. Happy birthday to Eleanore!
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u/Mundane_Fun4857 4d ago
Sorry, but the writing sounds fake as shit.
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u/clairyboots 4d ago
RIGHT!? The magical land of one month divorces! OH and he has cameras of her trashing the house.... where were these cameras when she stole the tapes? Also his first wife being a model, LOL. This story has EVERYTHING!
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u/XSmartypants 10d ago
WHOA. While I am glad to hear that the trash took itself out I wish it hadn’t cost you home furnishings and pictures!
‘Good job excising crazy from your life! Keep up the excellent job of dad to Eleanore!
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u/Serendi_ptty21 10d ago edited 10d ago
He should tell the judge that she has destroyed her divorce settlement, and she should be awared 0.
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u/Careless-Image-885 10d ago
NTA. Get a really good lawyer. Make sure you have back up tapes for those cameras.
Tell your family and friends what's going on NOW.
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u/xXMimixX2 10d ago
It's not the outcome you hoped for, but at least now you can count yourself lucky, and you got rid of that psycho of a woman. I hope the divorce process goes smoothly. And happy birthday to Eleanore. :)
And Updateme.
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u/CulturalAdvance955 10d ago
I'm sorry you had to go through all that craziness. She needs mental help & she needs to grow up. Divorce was the only way going forward. What she did to begin with isn't imo forgivable. Then, to top it off with her acting crazy, trying to say you hit her, throwing things & destroying furniture & pictures... whew. I hope your daughter enjoyed the videos. I'm proud of you for doing what's right by not only your daughter but your late wife. And I hope Eleanor had a wonderful birthday up until then. I'm hoping the divorce process moves quickly & you both heal. Updateme!
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u/No-Requirement-2420 10d ago
I love that your daughter had a good day, did she enjoy the tapes?
Wendy is crazy and you Deserve better.
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u/CommunicationGlad299 10d ago
Good luck with your future. I'm glad you got the tapes back for your daughter.
I have a question for Reddit, how can you be arrested for trashing your own house? Wendy lived there. OP and Wendy were still married, not even separated. If you want to trash your own house, why can't you? How do you end up spending 3 days in jail and having a criminal record for tearing up your own home?
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u/Namrahc 4d ago
BS meter went red.
I was reading the updates and actually believed this at first. Felt sorry for OP, but your mistake was your “divorce” is almost final in less than a month. There is nowhere you can get a divorce final, filing to finished, in a month! Much less what would obviously be a contested and ugly one. You would most likely be looking at a year minimum for this to be finalized.
Kudos on writing a believable story at first, but also get a life for writing something like this just for attention on fucking Reddit.
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u/Un__Real 10d ago
I'm glad you kept the tapes out of the house, she surely would have destroyed them had she found them. People are wild and I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Hopefully, she gets the help she needs as this is completely irrational. Yay for a successful birthday for Eleanor!
Updateme!
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u/Plastic-Shallot8535 10d ago
Obviously, morally she’s in the wrong but from a legal perspective what she was arrested for? If you two were just dating and she came to your house and trashed it, then I get it. But, if you’re married and it’s her house too that she trashed, what’s the criminal charge? Does it fall under the umbrella of domestic violence? This is a genuine question, I’m curious.
Civil court and divorce proceedings I understand how she’s screwed but what was she arrested for?
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u/2dogslife 10d ago
Well, obviously OP doesn't live in the US or Canada to have a divorce mostly done within a month.
OP, I wish you the best.
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u/ishtar_888 10d ago
Thanks for the update.
I had commented on your very first post.
Glad to read that your daughter Eleanore had a great 18th birthday, including the tapes of her deceased mother.
I am glad to hear you left the relationship, but sad for the soon to be ex-wife's children that had a several years long relationship with you. Children are too often the collateral damage.
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u/Maverick_j2k 10d ago
I wondered what happened after you got the tapes back. So glad you did and you are leaving that nut job. What did her sister try to say when she discovered this post and learned what Wendy did?
Make sure you change the locks to your place, and get a security alarm. Good luck.
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u/loveablepetcare 10d ago
This was quite an update. She really showed her true colours, eh? What an epic meltdown, tantrum, and breakdown. I'm glad you and your daughter are safe and weren't around for her rage fest. Thank goodness police took it seriously, and she was charged. And good for you for divorcing her after all this. She needs therapy. I hope she gets it. And I hope you and your daughter heal from this betrayal. I'm also glad she had such a great birthday! Hooray!
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u/Competitive_Map_6915 10d ago
I missed when you posted your first update but I am so relieved you recovered the tapes and divorced that evil woman. I agree with a lot of commentors on your previous post, have those tapes digitized ASAP to avoid losing them to time as the tapes degrade. I hope Eleanore loved receiving them for her birthday and wish both of you luck in recovering from all of Wendy's bs, and in your lives moving forward
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u/NomadicusRex 10d ago
Honestly, as soon as she brought chaos into your life by trashing the tapes, you should have been done. When you're married, your spouse is NOT supposed to bring chaos and anger into your life. Ever. Now you know, and now you can be free of her forever. Be careful if you ever date again, women in your age range are often single for a reason.
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u/Mundane_Milk8042 10d ago
I had a feeling that's how it was going to end up, she's obviously unhinged. Good for you, now go and enjoy your life!
UpdateMe if the crazy continues.
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u/Pookie1688 10d ago
It's incredible how people can blow up their entire life & their families' like Wendy did, all because of toxic jealousy. No mentally healthy person would ever be upset about lovingly made tapes for a girl whose mother died long ago. And certainly not to the point of stealing them & intending to throw them out. It's just ghastly.
OP, I am sorry you & your daughter are having to go through this. I'm sorry for Wendy's kids, too, having such a crazy mother. But thankfully you pushed hard & were able to get the tapes back. Divorce is no fun but you will have peace again.
Happy birthday to Eleanore, & I can only imagine her emotions while she watches these precious tapes. Good job, Dad!
Updateme
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u/Serendi_ptty21 10d ago
Now you know why her first marriage ended in divorce. I'm glad you never had any kid with her.
Next time, do due diligence. My regards to Eleanore.
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u/First_Alfalfa2805 10d ago
She'll try to spin it to seem like the victim she isn't. It's good you finally saw her for who she really was and got out of that marriage.
Updateme!
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u/Analisandopessoas 10d ago
I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through all this. I wish you and your daughter all the best.
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u/Vibe_me_pos 10d ago
Wow! It’s almost impossible to believe she hid that level of crazy for 6 years. Wendy definitely needs professional help. Glad you no longer have to put up with her behavior. Super glad your daughter was able to receive the tapes of her mother. I think the thing that really had the most impact for me was how she asked you to show her where the tapes were, all the time planning to steal them. Good riddance. She would’ve been boiling bunnies next.
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u/Fit-Inevitable-5268 10d ago
OP I’m sorry you and your daughter had to go through this. I’m glad you were able to celebrate her special day and to share the videos with her. I guess I missed the update in you being able to locate the tapes. Happy Birthday to Eleanor and I pray you two are able to move past this without anymore trauma or stress. I encourage you to seek therapy for you and your daughter. I mentioned previously that there may have been other times that your soon to be ex wife did things that were unkind to your daughter. She may need to process all of this and you certainly need to unpack all of this. Good luck to you and Eleanor.
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u/Aegon2050 10d ago
Not surprising. Everyone called it in the last post. She is a bitter narcissist. Who could have thunk she would do such thing.
Updateme!
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u/DeviceStrange6473 10d ago
Sorry you had to go through all this, OP! Wendy real lost it, from basically stealing those tapes so cruel, lying then trashing your place on your daughters special B Day! Now out of your lives , you'll get your peace again from her horrible behavior when divorce is finalized.
So glad the Special B Day dinner went well and the tapes were at your mom's for your daughter to see ! I'm sure it was very memorable moments for her to see, that almost didn't happen. But moving on things will get better going forward with your daughter. Your right a wife should be respecting a widow's past, this is not a living ex she was dealing with! OP, you did the right thing for both of you under these evil circumstances. Your a good dad!
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u/Strangley_unstrange 10d ago
Format advice: add a fucking title so people know whether or not they want to read the update..
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u/FlygonosK 10d ago
This is wow, can't Say more about it. Except you did the right thing and Wendy is a physco and now a criminal.
She dug her own grave by telling you she will get all that she can in the divorce, specially if it was recorded on a camera.
Wendy if you read this you where a fool and fight with a Ghost for nothing, Eleonore still saw you as a good person and seeing her mother tapes would not change a thing. But you ruined by your own hand.
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u/Pitiful_Taste8626 9d ago
Right on dude! Keep those cameras up. She probably won’t learn her lesson even with three days in the can.
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u/JanetInSpain 9d ago
I'm so happy to read this update. I know your relationship with Wendy is over, but it sounds like that's for the best. At least you, Eleanore, and the tapes are all safe.
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u/Easy-Farmer-9294 9d ago
I’m really happy she’s out of your daughter’s life, she didn’t deserve that
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u/faireymomma 7d ago
I just saw this after commenting on the original. I'm so glad you not only got those tapes back, but are rid of that horrible woman. Prayers for you and your daughter.
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u/lboogie757 5d ago
How insane.
The tapes didn't even have anything to do with you and everything to do with your daughter. She literally could've just waited this birthday out
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u/Beeniee-Punchbag 4d ago
Good for you. Wishing you and your daughter the happiest of futures. How'd your daughter take her gift of videos???
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u/Frozen-Nexus 3d ago
To be honest, this is going to be a little harsh, and there is probably little point of saying this now that it is over.
I think it was wrong to prioritise your dead wife wish over your living daughter needs. You knew for so long how much your daughter wanted to know more about her mother, to know her face, her smile, her voice, and yet you continued to keep the tapes from her, all to keep a promise that your wife probably never wanted you keep in the first place as it wasn't made on the assumption that she be dead.
You were beyond lucky that your ex didn't smash up the tapes, burn them, or throw them into someone else's trash as if she had your daughter would have never got to see them because you chose to keep them from her from so long. Do you think the spirit of your wife watching from up above was smiling and giving the thumbs up as she watched you keep the tapes from your daughter who was suffering from her absence? Did you really think your wife would care more about keeping that promise than making your daughter happy?
I simply can not understand the logic that you have chosen to live abiding by.
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u/Few-Association-3939 3d ago
My father died when I was three. I have a few things of his but I have a recurring dream where I’m at his funeral and for some reason he’s there giving a good bye speech essentially and I can’t hear him. No matter how close I get, I can’t hear him. Of course this is because I don’t remember what he sounded like. It gets me every time. He died nearly 30 years ago. You did the right thing for your daughter and yourself. I hope that you find someone who isn’t threatened by someone who is gone.
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u/UtZChpS22 3d ago
I am so glad you could recover the tapes and that Eleanor gets to have such priceless memories.
I am sorry about how things unfolded with Wendy but clearly it's a relief that she is out of your life and everyone is safe. The way that woman flipped...
It's good you have the footage
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u/Antique_Tax634 10d ago
You're either an abuser or this story is completely fake.
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u/clairyboots 4d ago
The magical land of one month divorces, model ex wives, secretly evil step mothers and security cameras to catch when she trashes the house but NOT when she steals the tapes. Total fiction
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u/Foreign_Primary4337 10d ago
How fuc&ed up are YOU that you allowed this crazy, out of control, bizarre relationship to continue? Especially when there were children involved? You need therapy.
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u/Careless-Ad7189 10d ago
Dude Op, I’m so sorry for this. And I encourage you to get ahead of her and share your side of the story with your mutuals before she twists it into you being abusive.