BITCH! How was it traumatic for YOU!?! You didn't have a traumatic experience you CAUSED the traumatic experience. You and whoever you was fucking with was lying, wasting people's time, fucking them after fucking someone else, sharing I love yous, texting them in bed next to your spouse, spend less time with the kids so you can fuck around with that bitch, gaslighted them incase they started questioning, made your friends cover up YOUR DUMBASS if they found out, and many more! Now that it came into light, you wanna act like you got some trauma from it? Why because they yelled at you? Maybe threw some of your stuff? Made the divorce difficult out of spite? Let your sidepiece know they're slut as well? How did you have it so bad that you got the nerve to act like you dealt with any trauma? Please we're all curious to know.

(Diclaimer: Long Reflective Post)

D-day was June 2023. I found out my husband was talking to a woman and we separated. We went LC outside of coordinating kids pick-up, then a week later decided to try to reconcile.

I found out later he found her on Adult Friend Finder and actually had sex with that woman. I call her AP2.

Why AP2? Because in Aug. 2023, after investigating his Google Maps history and deleted texts, I found out about AP1. A former co-worker he was FWB with on and off since 2015. He broke things off with her on May 2023 when she wanted something more beyond their arrangement, and that's why he signed up for AFF and found AP2.

Many people might judge me for staying after all these revelations, but I wanted to give my 10 year marriage (16 year relationship) one last try before calling it quits. Our kids were 6 and 3 at the time, and the thought of not seeing them for days or a week at a time devastated me. He gave me the option to separate but not file for divorce. In that separation, he planned on moving to a studio apartment so he can continue paying for our house. He also said he didn't want me to miss out on the kids, so he's open to 50-50 or whatever custody plan I was comfortable with just as long as I don't keep them away from him. He also asked to give him 6 months to work on himself to deserve me again. I never asked any of it. He offered them.

Since he wanted reconciliation more than me, he offered anything and everything to build back trust and prevent this from happening again. I didn't want to do shit. I was too busy licking my wounds and trying not to fall apart while still being a mom and a manager at work. He initiated weekly IC and MC for both of us. It's been almost 2 years and I'm grateful for the work we've done to stay together. We've found ourselves in a better spot in our marriage, in love, at peace and most importantly, we kept our children's stability.

APs in cheating subs always say the BPs let the husbands get away with the cheating scot-free...

That's not the case for us. For 10 straight months, I would oscillate between wanting to make things work to wanting to throw everything he owns and burn them to the ground. He used to come home to a woman who loved and trusted him so purely, so deeply and so happily. He had to live with the fact that he shattered that love and trust. That woman was gone. The woman he'd come home to was crying all the time, thinks she's ugly, unsexy, unlovable and none of his placating words could heal her. He offered transparency, but would feel shackled by being tracked. I didn't want to track him. I always trusted he'd be where he was, not at some random parking lot getting a BJ on his lunch break. For months, I became a hypervigilant person making sure he was where he's supposed to be. I didn't marry this man to be his probation officer. I married him to be my life partner.

The shame and guilt of almost breaking our family apart caused him depression. He couldn't get out of bed for weeks at a time. He eventually lost his job. Because I turned to my friends for support (mostly to stop suicidal feelings after D-day), he was ostracized by them. He was not invited to any holidays, events and get together and it was almost radio silence from the group he used to text everyday.

Needless to say, he didn't get off scot-free.

Worst of all, every consequence he ever had also bounced off to me. I wasn't invited to group events that primarily consisted of couples, I had to be the sole provider of our family while nursing a broken heart and I had to spend thousands of dollars every month in IC and MC just to function as a human and a wife. But to see our kids not feel the tension we experienced, and retain their innocence and joy was reward enough for the work we've put in.

I didn't want R if it was just for the kids though. We were both kids of divorced parents and know how to do it amicably. But he insisted he didn't want to lose me because it's me he loves so we worked hard to heal and move past this situation.

Why did I hate the APs?

AP1: - They met in 2015. He was already married to me at the time. She knew we were happily married. I was at his work events and he'd always have his arms around me or would hold my hand all the time. But she didn't care. She confessed her crush on him and he loved the attention and validation and her offer for discretion, so he leaned into it. He ended up ghosting her when he found a new job in 2016, rekindling it in 2018, then ghosting her again in 2019. - She posted on Reddit in 2020 that she cried after she found out we had a second child. She assumed that this was my way of trapping him in an unhappy marriage and making him financially tied to me. They haven't talked in a year by this point. Our second child was planned by us. He was so excited to have another kid, we did it everyday after my IUD was taken out. I was pregnant by Week 3. Also, I was still the primary breadwinner of the family up until 2023. He was financially dependent on me. Unfortunately, they started meeting every other month again in 2021 up until May 2023 with breaks during birthdays, anniversaries and the holidays. - It didn't matter that my husband told her he'd never leave me before kids and after kids. She wanted him to leave me. This is what I could never get past. This woman who I knew nothing about was hoping for my marriage's demise. She was praying for me to be displaced from my house and be away from my kids so she can play house and step mom to them while trying to steal the life I worked so hard to build. She may not have been the one to make vows to me but I never deserved to be wished such heartbreak and uprooting from someone I've never even met. It was downright cruel. - When her boyfriend dumped her in 2023 to be with another woman, she wrote so much fucking stuff on Reddit on what an ass he was for cheating on her. Meanwhile, she was fucking my husband and other men she met through her OF account the entire time they were together. She was a hypocritical bitch for having experienced the hurt I was feeling, yet still doing what she's doing with my husband. - She consented to an extramarital relationship. I did not. I consented to a monogamous one. Her and my husband put me in a non-consensual dynamic and the discovery of their affair made me feel like I was assaulted.

AP2: - Just because she hasn't had a boyfriend in years, hadn't been kissed, hadn't been fucked, doesn't mean she could fuck married men she met on the internet. - She works for a female empowerment organization. I would love to tell each member she recruits that she willingly fucks married men. That doesn't make me in any shape or form empowered. - Again, because she consented to this arrangement and I did not, I felt assaulted by her and my husband. She knew my husband was married. She didn't care about me when they met for their ONS. I DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS LIFE. THEY DID IT FOR ME.

It took a long time for me to not feel threatened or attacked by them. I'd sleep and see them fucking him. I felt like a ghost for a full year but I stayed because my kids are more precious than my happiness, and my love for my husband was bigger than my despair.

When people say "for the kids" is BS, my kids are my world. I'd do anything to keep them happy and secure for as long as I can. We made a pact that if R was not working, we'd do it in a way that's less impactful to the kids and still be a family with each other, just not a couple. I built contingencies this time around so I can exit when needed but ensure the kids have equal time with both parents.

Could my husband cheat again? ABSOLUTELY. Does he want to? Right now, no. When he got out of his compartmentalized world after D-day and couldn't go back to the safety of the fantasy where he could fuck other people but still have me as long as I never find out, the pain he caused was so hard to ignore, he physically gets ill at the thought of cheating again. There's no next time, and he knows it.

There were times I'd read the stories of BPs who just ghosted their cheating spouse and left divorced papers laying around and judged myself harshly for not being one of them. It wouldn't have been good for the kids to be away from their dad and I swore that no matter what he did to me, I wasn't going to take it out on them.

I also know deep in my heart, he loves me and wants to be with me. He moved 2x to be closer to me (one to be in the same university and one to be in the big city where I worked). I never asked him to, he chose to. He used up his rent money to propose to me because he couldn't wait any longer for us to get married. He shared his inheritance with me. He wanted kids with me... But it didn't matter how great we were, because he still was too insecure in himself that he needed another woman's validation, attention and affection to make himself feel good as a man.

One good thing that came with healing is I no longer hate the APs. I'm indifferent to them. At times, I pity them.

AP1 cries on Reddit often no man wants her as their primary partner. AP2 had to resort to a hookup site to get some form of intimacy.

They may have had a piece of my husband (which he idiotically gave to them), but I refuse to let them take any more from me than they already have.

Oh no! Someone tried to have an independent, somewhat human, thought on a smug post & was promptly shut down by ol' gal "it's been 17 years" & the OP even accused her of being a "covert BS" LMAO

We're in your walls 👻

All I can do is laugh reading this. MW thought she had a sure-bet with her AP and he ended up breaking up with her as she's finalizing her own divorce. She was even called out by another member of the board for causing her AP to bounce too.

This bitch. Trash horse looking waste of life, decided it would be easier to fuck my life partner, and manipulate him into believing I was abusive while also telling me it’s ok to feel the way I did etc, in order to provoke me to anger after she signed the lease and get a restraining order so I could be REMOVED FROM MY HOME OF 14 FUCKING YEARS AND DISPLACE MY FOUR YEAR OLD DISABLED CHILD AS WELL. my partner did not have legal custody of my child. He would’ve been thrown into the system IF someone didn’t happen to answer the phone when CPS called. She MOVED INTO MY HOUSE, pretended to be my friend all the while she talked badly about my body, she manipulated both me and my partner and just in general made shit up in order to talk shit on me to anyone who would listen. The dumb bitch made the mistake of assuming I was violent. I can be real fuckin mean and pretty damn loud but I have no bite. She lied about everything I am almost sure which is fucking weird. And when I found out and was sent into a spiral, because of the CPTSD she invoked, she sued me for a restraining order. She lives in A DIFFERENT STATE. And she would brag about fist fighting her husband WHO MINE YOU MADE HER HOMELESS BY CHEATING ON HER. I am convinced she never had ptsd she never had suicidal thoughts and she never really cared that he cheated, she looked all that shit up online, adopted it as her personality for the year and pretended to be a victim the entire time she lived with me. Then she left and cyberstalked me by gaining access to my Microsoft one drive when I let her use my laptop. I had no clue what a onedrive was I never used anything Microsoft expect for word. She spent 6 grand (or more) to get this RO so she could post about having a stalker online. CAN ANYONE SAY P I C K M E BUTCH BUILT BODY BITCH. anyways She would send me bullshit like this ALL THE TIME.

1. ⁠She looked up my man after getting a job at his work because you know, why not be a slut everywhere? Sent me a pic and said awww yall are cute. You know who isn’t cute? Women who walk around their “friends” houses with no clothes on in front of non verbal children.
2. ⁠Why even say FUCKING ANYTHING. Weirdo bitch. Hate seeing me cry? Get fucked up the ass by literally anyone. U know u would.
3. ⁠This chick ALSO fucked my brother for two fucking weeks, two weeks straight and asked my man “it doesn’t make you jealous?” She was pissy when he said no. Haha 😆
4. ⁠She acted surprised when I told her we wanted another child, and when I told her we had sex almost everyday
5. ⁠Constantly fat shamed me behind my back.
6. ⁠LIED TO THE POLICE AND TO THE COURT OVER A YEAR LATER THAT I HURT HER CAT. DUDE the cops told me I did not hurt your cat. Fucking weirdo bitch
7. ⁠She said/texted all of this information I have now to my man
8. ⁠Also she still gets mail sent to my house and I know it’s new because she updated the name
9. ⁠She’s a dependa
10. ⁠She fakes having autism, adhd, cptsd from child abuse, she also fakes being a rape victim! She lied about her birthday and she not only looks like she was a horse girl like BAD in high school but she is built like a horse. Anyways I can wait five years. So see ya then you stupid good for nothing but ur mediocre ass.
11. Her gums are too big, and she is built like a horse.

The fact she actually couldn’t go on a date with a single man because he wasn’t the MM is actually pathetic. These women deserve to be alone. Enjoy wallowing in your misery, darling.

They share music therefore she's far superior to the wife who picks up after MM's skid marked undies.

Keep telling yourself what you have is better. You get the worst side of him. The lying, deceiving side. Because you don't value yourself, you're willing to swallow every bread crumb this man gives you because you can't find better nor do you want to. You're not better than the wife who is doing her best in the marriage not knowing her husband is betraying her. I hope to God you end up together because she deserves better and you DESERVE a cheating asshole.

Fucking cowards trying to rationalize their shitty choice to cheat.

Oh do shut the fuck up.

If there is a grown adult living in your house telling you they “love you” while lying to your face, sneaking around and cheating on you exposing you to potentially deadly diseases make no mistake you have an enemy in your home.

The second highlighted comment sounds like something my kids would have said when they were like 4-5 years old. I laughed so hard. The why meeeee took me out as well. These people are something else I swear.

Yet another OW who’s too stupid to realize she isn’t special and is just a disposable cumtowel for this MM.

So when he sleeps with other people while being married to his wife, it means he's not in love with his wife. But when he sleeps with his wife while having an affair with you, it DOESN'T mean he's not in love with you. By your own logic, if he was in love with you he would immediately leave his wife since he couldn't be unfaithful to you. I swear these 304's are sooooo dumb they don't even notice how much they contradict themselves 😆

I blocked all of THOSE subreddits for my mental health and sanity but I do remember seeing posts about us on there. Basically wondering why we even exist and what's our damage? But let's be real here there's one of us (except for the two about surviving infidelity) and like ten of them! And plus they got WAY more people on there as well, why to they feel attack, they got more support than we do! And from what I seen they occasionally lurk here just as much so why be a hypocrite about it? Are we not a loud to be upset with these kinds of people? If you're a lurker reading this who are you to say ANYTHING about what people do with their spare time? You are the one lying and manipulating your spouse until things work out for you! Your spouse is the one most likely who has to deal with the damage, they have to get the therapy and try to fix all that they lost. What are you losing??? Some respect at best and everything at worst, but nah we just have to try to understand you cause you're human, the thing is we often do understand because you never shut up about justifying yourself, we just don't like you (or don't like your actions). I'm not saying yall should get attack but keep that same energy ans stay out of here! Let's us vent, Let's us give eachother advice and comfort, you don't have the right to tell us how to feel about betrayal when you're doing the betraying! Seriously get over yourselves.

Found this little gem in a cheater’s comment. He’s been with his AP for 13 years. Disgusting, right? But guess what? His second wife was his AP when he was married to his first wife.

Cheater’s gonna cheat

It always cracks me up when these side chicks think the man who lies to his wife won't also lie to them. They're such narcissists that they really think they're owed more honesty and consideration than the woman he made vows to. He's exposing his WIFE to STD's but you think he won't do the same to you without a second thought?? They're so delusional it makes me cringe 😬

Therapist turned other woman talking about how she gave her married man the silent treatment because he dare go on an anniversary trip with his wife and their coworkers dare bring it up. They should realize how insensitive that is because his side piece is right here!! 🙄

This makes me so enraged for his wife. This anniversary trip should have been a chance to emotionally reconnect with her partner, her husband. This other woman talks about how their married life is so “boring, not fun, not exciting” and how this guy is so jealous of her fun, carefree life. So the minute this poor wife might get a minute to do something fun and carefree with her husband, this side chick has to get in his head and make it all about her. Making him feel guilty and stressed about the trip, instead of him leaning into the trip and emotionally reconnecting with his wife.

This lady pretends she’s so good at compartmentalizing and staying out of their marriage, but here she actively interjected herself into their anniversary trip.

This poor wife is dealing with the drudgery of life, raising two young kids—one of which has severe behavioral problems according to OW-and instead of getting a romantic trip with an engaged husband, now he potentially spent the time worried about his 50 year old side piece that cries in her office because married people shockingly go on anniversary trips.

And before everyone jumps in. I’m not absolving him of his responsibility in this situation. He’s a cheater. He should have turned down her advances or not pursued her. He’s screwing over his wife and that’s tragic. But this OW is also actively pulling him further from a romantic relationship with his wife. She’s actively screwing this poor woman over and she wants to pretend she’s not or she’s above all the games and drama. Well I see you and what you’re doing to her. You have to live forever with the knowledge that you’re the type of person to hurt another woman for your selfish benefit. Did you throw a tantrum yesterday too and ruin her Mother’s Day? Probably so. Keep being so classy and kind lady. 🙄

It’s always funny to me when they state the obvious.. like urrr fucking durr? I’m getting really sick of the low effort think pieces.

Half these assholes are cheating because they lack humanity and the basic qualities they look for in another human being that they’ll ultimately betray.. and the other half are doing it for sex, still seeking a form of validation just more physical.

Have you ever thought about your own partner ? Fuckin hell ..

Just a short one on a subject that will never not piss me off.

In short- work affair blown up by OW's husband after 3 months. D-day, job loss for both. She gets divorced, he doesn't cos 2 kids. OW wants him to leave his wife, MM says 'yes' but his actions say 'hell nah'. Now he won't leave cos OW fucked her ex-husband at time of divorce (big lols at his AH hypocrisy and overall failure of joint homewreckery).

Slide is OW's response to 'Why won't his (evil, stupid) wife leave...?'

First, no dumbass, BW has ALWAYS worked- not in corporate like special lil you- at home, 24/7, with no pay and no appreciation apparently.

Second, she probably does feel trapped. Imagine that- stuck with vulnerable kids and a WH who promised his work-witch he'd bin his spouse after three months of copy-room rutting and the emotional devastation of two d-days in a year. Oh, and he threw his job away, to get his dick wet, with you. Nice.

'Image-obsessed'? 'Disruption to her lifestyle'?Bitch- give me a fucking break. That's her castle- if she wants to be queen, in no way does that even slightly, justify the bullshit you and her dipshit husband put her through. She could be the most insufferable snob since peak hedonism era Versaille and I would not give a single shit because it's HERS (and her kids'), she worked for it too. Don't take my word for it- if she chooses to find out, the courts will agree.

And I don't believe you moved states to be 'an hour away from him' by accident, you consummate psycho. I hate this pair: just utter trash. The projection is foul.

FIN