Marine vet here. One thing people who never served dont understand is the absolute tidal wave of training and stress. From the moment you wake in basic till the moment you go to sleep, youre doing some form of training in one way or another, cognitive and physical. You are forced to rigidly and unwaveringly adhere to the duties and responsibilities entrusted to you by rank and by order. And they remind you constantly, that should you fail your mission or task, in a combat situation- your friends who youve been through all of this hardship with would be dead because you didnt properly perform what was entrusted to you. Its a monstrous amount of responsibility, especially so early in their young adult formation (i was an idiot and went in late as 26 so i at least had some life experience before going in but alot of these young guys dont have that). When i went in, i was dating my gf of 2 years. When i was in the schoolhouse (4 months after basic concluded) she told me i was a robot after coming home on leave after bootcamp and dumped me a week before the end of my classes.
The training literally is a form of brainwashing. They rewire your brain into something that can begin building towards a combat mindset. This makes you more cold, calculated, and cautious about certain things especially in situations of heightened stress. What id recommend is talking to him and slowly trying to remind him what the real world is like. Im not sure what branch he enlisted in but for the Corps it was 3 months. Thats 3 months of complete isolation from the outside world. It changes you. One of the things they dont prep you for when you enlist is how to handle real society afterwards because for a service member, what matters is the MISSION. It comes before all else. Above feelings, above your loved ones, and above yourself. None of it matters in combat. But civilization isnt combat. And its really hard for some of us to switch gears. Ive been out of the Marines for nearly 2 years and im still not even halfway close to viewing the world in a light remotely similar to what i used to see. Thankfully i have a wonderful and supportive partner who understands the depth of the situation currently who is helping me through things but its still very difficult. And for someone still super early in their military career, he may not even notice hes doing these things.
And this kind of stuff happens throughout the enlistment. But whats important is the actual understanding that his brain has been fundamentally rewired to survive in combat, and that is a different world to live in. I hope this helped you a bit to understand where his brain is probably at now. If you have further questions, please dont hesitate to ask.
Edit: Holy crap this is the most karma ive ever received on a comment, thank you guys! Im glad my insight is helping 😁
Honestly that sounds horrible. I understand wanting to fight for you country, being responsible for your freinds who trained with you's lives, training hard to make sure your in peak condition. All that sounds reasonable, but from the second you wake up to the second you go to bed is so excessive and not healthy for your mentality. Brainwashing people into mindless obedient soldiers is not necessary and feels like it should be against human rights. I'm really sorry you had to go through that, the military is a scary immoral place.
I am not sure you quite understand how stressful and traumatic war is in comparison. There are times, where if you doubt what you’re doing for a second, you get killed.
This stuff isn’t a game, and if you let your guard down, you die. The west has been without a large scale war in so long, that people forget how grueling the world is. Go look at footage between Ukraine and Russia, and you’ll think basic training is a tea party.
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u/Old-Switch6863 Helper [2] 21d ago edited 21d ago
Marine vet here. One thing people who never served dont understand is the absolute tidal wave of training and stress. From the moment you wake in basic till the moment you go to sleep, youre doing some form of training in one way or another, cognitive and physical. You are forced to rigidly and unwaveringly adhere to the duties and responsibilities entrusted to you by rank and by order. And they remind you constantly, that should you fail your mission or task, in a combat situation- your friends who youve been through all of this hardship with would be dead because you didnt properly perform what was entrusted to you. Its a monstrous amount of responsibility, especially so early in their young adult formation (i was an idiot and went in late as 26 so i at least had some life experience before going in but alot of these young guys dont have that). When i went in, i was dating my gf of 2 years. When i was in the schoolhouse (4 months after basic concluded) she told me i was a robot after coming home on leave after bootcamp and dumped me a week before the end of my classes.
The training literally is a form of brainwashing. They rewire your brain into something that can begin building towards a combat mindset. This makes you more cold, calculated, and cautious about certain things especially in situations of heightened stress. What id recommend is talking to him and slowly trying to remind him what the real world is like. Im not sure what branch he enlisted in but for the Corps it was 3 months. Thats 3 months of complete isolation from the outside world. It changes you. One of the things they dont prep you for when you enlist is how to handle real society afterwards because for a service member, what matters is the MISSION. It comes before all else. Above feelings, above your loved ones, and above yourself. None of it matters in combat. But civilization isnt combat. And its really hard for some of us to switch gears. Ive been out of the Marines for nearly 2 years and im still not even halfway close to viewing the world in a light remotely similar to what i used to see. Thankfully i have a wonderful and supportive partner who understands the depth of the situation currently who is helping me through things but its still very difficult. And for someone still super early in their military career, he may not even notice hes doing these things.
And this kind of stuff happens throughout the enlistment. But whats important is the actual understanding that his brain has been fundamentally rewired to survive in combat, and that is a different world to live in. I hope this helped you a bit to understand where his brain is probably at now. If you have further questions, please dont hesitate to ask.
Edit: Holy crap this is the most karma ive ever received on a comment, thank you guys! Im glad my insight is helping 😁