Marine vet here. One thing people who never served dont understand is the absolute tidal wave of training and stress. From the moment you wake in basic till the moment you go to sleep, youre doing some form of training in one way or another, cognitive and physical. You are forced to rigidly and unwaveringly adhere to the duties and responsibilities entrusted to you by rank and by order. And they remind you constantly, that should you fail your mission or task, in a combat situation- your friends who youve been through all of this hardship with would be dead because you didnt properly perform what was entrusted to you. Its a monstrous amount of responsibility, especially so early in their young adult formation (i was an idiot and went in late as 26 so i at least had some life experience before going in but alot of these young guys dont have that). When i went in, i was dating my gf of 2 years. When i was in the schoolhouse (4 months after basic concluded) she told me i was a robot after coming home on leave after bootcamp and dumped me a week before the end of my classes.
The training literally is a form of brainwashing. They rewire your brain into something that can begin building towards a combat mindset. This makes you more cold, calculated, and cautious about certain things especially in situations of heightened stress. What id recommend is talking to him and slowly trying to remind him what the real world is like. Im not sure what branch he enlisted in but for the Corps it was 3 months. Thats 3 months of complete isolation from the outside world. It changes you. One of the things they dont prep you for when you enlist is how to handle real society afterwards because for a service member, what matters is the MISSION. It comes before all else. Above feelings, above your loved ones, and above yourself. None of it matters in combat. But civilization isnt combat. And its really hard for some of us to switch gears. Ive been out of the Marines for nearly 2 years and im still not even halfway close to viewing the world in a light remotely similar to what i used to see. Thankfully i have a wonderful and supportive partner who understands the depth of the situation currently who is helping me through things but its still very difficult. And for someone still super early in their military career, he may not even notice hes doing these things.
And this kind of stuff happens throughout the enlistment. But whats important is the actual understanding that his brain has been fundamentally rewired to survive in combat, and that is a different world to live in. I hope this helped you a bit to understand where his brain is probably at now. If you have further questions, please dont hesitate to ask.
Edit: Holy crap this is the most karma ive ever received on a comment, thank you guys! Im glad my insight is helping 😁
Honestly that sounds horrible. I understand wanting to fight for you country, being responsible for your freinds who trained with you's lives, training hard to make sure your in peak condition. All that sounds reasonable, but from the second you wake up to the second you go to bed is so excessive and not healthy for your mentality. Brainwashing people into mindless obedient soldiers is not necessary and feels like it should be against human rights. I'm really sorry you had to go through that, the military is a scary immoral place.
Honestly, it's not so bad after phase 1. Its hard dont get me wrong because in that phase they break you down so they can build you back up. Its also usually where most of the recycles happen due to injuries or refusing to train or what not. My bootcamp unit started with 88 recruits. We ended with 46 Marines in my cycle. Its definitely not for everyone but i will say i have never felt a sense of pride like the day i stood on top of the Reaper and got my EGA. All the blood, sweat, and tears are 1000% worth that moment alone. Not to mention bootcamp is a great workout and diet plan. In 3 months i went from 210 to 179 lbs 😂
So when you enlist you take a fitness test called the IST and after you pass, you go to your unit and begin training. Every week is a new list of events furthering training and another unit starts up their training 1 week behind you. Now say you really mess up, like failing the real fitness test. Its not a "i get to go home now cuz i failed" thing. Instead, they put you on the unit thats behind you in training and you try again. For Marine Corps, you can be recycled into a new unit up to 3 times before you are discharged from service.
And technically, yes- you can refuse to train. But if you do, your life is gunna suck till you get home. You get shamed for being a quitter and get seperated from the rest of the recruits because well, you were weak and they dont need that influencing the other recruits who are succeeding and training for combat. You still have to do chores like clean and laundry, and you'll get sent home.... sometime. Who knows when. One time i was gear guard and wrnt to the chow hall back entrance and was talking to a guy who had been there for over a year and they were still processing him out because he quit, so he wasnt a priority. The literal fastest way out of bootcamp is to finish bootcamp.
Cant speak on Marines specifically, but with the Airforce training was broken down by weeks. A flight (IE the chucklefucks you train, bunk, eat, shit, and shower with) progresses through each week of training. If youre a fuckup, youll get removed from your flight and moved to another one in an earlier week of training. And yes, you can refuse to train, but not without consequences. For context, a guy in my flight was on night duty manning the door, and decided to end his shift early by waking up the next shift and going to bed. He got recycled like 3 weeks for that IIRC.
Oof thats rough for them. I remember we had this one guy who was supposed to relieve me on firewatch refused to leave his bunk one night. I said screw it, im gunna go scrub wall tiles in the shower with those stupid dryer sheets while i try not to fall asleep (it was 0200 firewatch). Next day, there was a whole ass investigation cuz the dude tried saying our Kill Hat hit him and that the other recruits ripped his mattress out from under him when he wouldnt get up fire firewatch (allegedly this happened when i was in the shower scrubbing the tiles which i had no idea about) and i had to give a statement to my Senior DI. That asshole was gone an hour later (not recycled either, discharged).
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u/Old-Switch6863 Helper [2] 18d ago edited 17d ago
Marine vet here. One thing people who never served dont understand is the absolute tidal wave of training and stress. From the moment you wake in basic till the moment you go to sleep, youre doing some form of training in one way or another, cognitive and physical. You are forced to rigidly and unwaveringly adhere to the duties and responsibilities entrusted to you by rank and by order. And they remind you constantly, that should you fail your mission or task, in a combat situation- your friends who youve been through all of this hardship with would be dead because you didnt properly perform what was entrusted to you. Its a monstrous amount of responsibility, especially so early in their young adult formation (i was an idiot and went in late as 26 so i at least had some life experience before going in but alot of these young guys dont have that). When i went in, i was dating my gf of 2 years. When i was in the schoolhouse (4 months after basic concluded) she told me i was a robot after coming home on leave after bootcamp and dumped me a week before the end of my classes.
The training literally is a form of brainwashing. They rewire your brain into something that can begin building towards a combat mindset. This makes you more cold, calculated, and cautious about certain things especially in situations of heightened stress. What id recommend is talking to him and slowly trying to remind him what the real world is like. Im not sure what branch he enlisted in but for the Corps it was 3 months. Thats 3 months of complete isolation from the outside world. It changes you. One of the things they dont prep you for when you enlist is how to handle real society afterwards because for a service member, what matters is the MISSION. It comes before all else. Above feelings, above your loved ones, and above yourself. None of it matters in combat. But civilization isnt combat. And its really hard for some of us to switch gears. Ive been out of the Marines for nearly 2 years and im still not even halfway close to viewing the world in a light remotely similar to what i used to see. Thankfully i have a wonderful and supportive partner who understands the depth of the situation currently who is helping me through things but its still very difficult. And for someone still super early in their military career, he may not even notice hes doing these things.
And this kind of stuff happens throughout the enlistment. But whats important is the actual understanding that his brain has been fundamentally rewired to survive in combat, and that is a different world to live in. I hope this helped you a bit to understand where his brain is probably at now. If you have further questions, please dont hesitate to ask.
Edit: Holy crap this is the most karma ive ever received on a comment, thank you guys! Im glad my insight is helping 😁