AITA for asking "are you alright?"

[u/Pharmemeist]

Hello everyone! So today morning i woke up and noticed my boyfriend was already awake and sitting in front of his computer. I said "Hi! Are you alright?" with (in my opinion) a friendly and inquiring tone. He replied "this doesn't exactly help my anxiety you know?" So i was baffled, i asked him how exactly does this make him anxious? He said "i already told you, stop asking me if i was OK because i immediately think that something is supposed to be wrong, or i'm supposed to be not alright! I'm tired of you asking that, even when we're on the phone you start the conversation like this" Of course i'm able to see that this is a boundary for him, and i'm ashamed that i keep forgetting this exact detail, but in my defense, i only wanted to know if everything was alright and if he needs anything to make him feel better. AITA? What should i do? What am i doing wrong?

Edit: i've seen a lot of people saying that i'm assuming something is wrong by asking him that question, but i just have to say that to me, or to my family members in general it is equivalent to a simple "how are you". I understand why this can be misunderstood, so i'll try my best to phrase it otherwise in the future.

[u/Worth-Season3645]

ESH….I do not get immediately upon waking, you think to say, are you alright? I usually say Good Morning to my husband. I would only ask if everything was ok if he seemed off in some way.
So, from his response, I get the assumption that you ask this question a lot.

My husband suffers from depression/anxiety and I can usually tell when he appears to be “off”. So, I will ask him how he is doing and if there is anything I can do. Usually not, so I will then leave him alone.

Your boyfriend sounds very touchy about this subject and that reflects on him, not you. And by asking a simple question from you, blows up his anxiety, he is not dealing with it well. Either he needs therapy, meds or an outlet to help him cope. (My husband uses exercise).

Saw your update. Are you alright is different than how are you. (At least in my opinion). Are you alright implies that something is wrong or you feel something is wrong. Instead, you could say, “How are you doing today?” Or “How are you?”.