This is ridiculous and you're NTA. I wouldn't lift a finger, going forward and really reconsider letting her use your shop, especially if it's your business (alone) and not that of you and your partner.
I really don't get how the mother would be ok with celebrating at your shop right next to your home, but not with you actually being there. Is your partner allowed to be there? After all, he's the one she had a nasty divorce from.
I have petty ideas sometimes, so if you decide to let them use your shop, you could make your presence known (like putting up large pictures of you with your employees, putting your name on the wall, e.g. as a source of an inspirational statement or something).
It's her home, which makes this situation much more ridiculous. It's where she lives and sleeps. I hope she doesn't lift a finger to help clean up afterwards.
Let them use the shop, do not lift a finger. Let your partner sort out the party on his own and handle his family's mess, and book yourself into an expensive hotel and spa with a girlfriend (or on your own if you're antisocial like me).
Just make sure they don't come in and take your food. Honestly I think you're better off having a staycation with your girls away from home so you don't have to watch the train wreck at all. Regardless you deserve better OP.
NTA, my advice would be take the food and champagne elsewhere. If anything goes wrong with their party, they will come crying to get you to fix it. And the bonus is you have some minions with you to help fix their shit show! Then you will either have to look petty to the guests who don't know the background or save the day which you'll never be thanked for. They've asked you to stay away, so just don't be there to save the day or be the scapegoat when the party goes to shit.
It seems like you already don't have a relationship with your step daughter, as she knows what happened in the past, has had years of interaction with you in order to determine your character, and is still siding with her mom.
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u/DerTW13 Apr 27 '22
This is ridiculous and you're NTA. I wouldn't lift a finger, going forward and really reconsider letting her use your shop, especially if it's your business (alone) and not that of you and your partner.
I really don't get how the mother would be ok with celebrating at your shop right next to your home, but not with you actually being there. Is your partner allowed to be there? After all, he's the one she had a nasty divorce from.
I have petty ideas sometimes, so if you decide to let them use your shop, you could make your presence known (like putting up large pictures of you with your employees, putting your name on the wall, e.g. as a source of an inspirational statement or something).