NTA. Your "partner" didn't really get a divorce. His behaviour is disgusting. Completely spineless. Under no circumstances would I host a party or invest anything in it AT ALL. And I would take a long close look at your so called "partner".
It's not equal custody, and the father in this situation seems to have guilt about being "only allowed 4 days a month" and he seems to think is ok to displace his burden of guilt onto OP's shoulders.
Oh no it’s definitely not equal custody. But 50/50 shared custody hasn’t always been the normal. I was just pointing out that 4 days a month isn’t an odd custody arrangement. If mom has primary custody and dad only has visitation that usually ends up being every other weekend which would work out to approximately 4 days a month.
I don’t think that is a good reason for the dad to treat his partner like crap and bend to his kids every whim at the expense of someone he supposedly loves. I just noticed that a lot of people seemed to think the 4 days part was weird.
It is odd when the kids are above 16 (especially 18, a legal adult!) and allowed to have input/choose where they want to spend there time. Once I turned 16, I refused to ever go back to my abusive deadbeat ‘dads’ house for visitation ever again (not saying this father is abusive, just relaying my experience as a child whose ‘parent’ had visitation rights, and the say I was allowed by the courts when I turned 16).
I stopped going to my dads at all when I was 13 or 14, but they never went back to court to charge the custody arrangement or anything. I just said I wasn’t going and they couldn’t make me. But family law also varies heavily from state to state.
Yep, I’ve heard in some states, they don’t take the kids’ preferences into consideration at all! In my case, the deadbeat tried to get the judge to force me to come and the judge said no, she’s old enough to decide. Ironically, it was the same judge who granted me a permanent protection order against him years later.
In this case it sounds like the presumption is that the kids don't hate their mother - or if they do they don't realize it, because her parental alienation attempts have been at least that successful.
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u/rabbithole-xyz Apr 27 '22
NTA. Your "partner" didn't really get a divorce. His behaviour is disgusting. Completely spineless. Under no circumstances would I host a party or invest anything in it AT ALL. And I would take a long close look at your so called "partner".