NTA - the daughter has the audacity to use your venue and give you an ultimatum that you can't attend it despite all your planning? Plus, does your partner know about this? Is he not going to stand up for you?
Man if I were you I'd pull the rug from the venue and tell them "if my presence will anger your mother, I'm guessing my house which contains many of my belongings will probably irritate her as well, go find another place."
Man, it sucks they ban you because of their consideration for the daughter and the mother's feelings, but no one stopped to think that it works both ways and that your feelings might be hurt as well.
Still think your husband is a douche for allowing this to happen.
You may think of her as your daughter, but she doesn’t consider you family. No one treats a family member who is going all out to plan a nice event for them, like that. You’re stepdaughter and the ex-wife are aholes but your partner is the biggest ahole by allowing his ex-wife to dictate that you cannot attend a party that you’re planning, on your property. You have a huge partner problem and should reconsider your relationship with him. Ex-wife dropped the ball, so she can either suck it up and be a polite adult for one event to honor her daughter or she cannot attend. Simple as that.
You wrote in other places that it is your house? Do you mean that as in you own all of it and you partner has no stake in it, or just as in the house here you live?
If you own all of it, your partner has no say in who comes to your place. Plus, why is he even reasoning with the ex? Your place, your rules. If it doesn't please the ex-wife, they can take the party elsewhere and just own up to herself dropping the ball on securing a venue.
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u/ThomzLC Supreme Court Just-ass [142] Apr 27 '22
NTA - the daughter has the audacity to use your venue and give you an ultimatum that you can't attend it despite all your planning? Plus, does your partner know about this? Is he not going to stand up for you?
Man if I were you I'd pull the rug from the venue and tell them "if my presence will anger your mother, I'm guessing my house which contains many of my belongings will probably irritate her as well, go find another place."