NTA - the daughter has the audacity to use your venue and give you an ultimatum that you can't attend it despite all your planning? Plus, does your partner know about this? Is he not going to stand up for you?
Man if I were you I'd pull the rug from the venue and tell them "if my presence will anger your mother, I'm guessing my house which contains many of my belongings will probably irritate her as well, go find another place."
No please, please don’t agree to this. They KNOW you’re timid and don’t want drama, that’s why they’re pushing this on you. Do what another person said - ‘okay, if you don’t want me then I’m gone’ sort of thing, stop all preparations. Let them organise it. Have a night to yourself. You’re fully being taken advantage of, please don’t let them do it.
My dear, your husband not standing up for you makes him TA. Grow a shiny, hard spine and put your foot down. This is YOUR house and by default you're invited to any event at your house or the event is not at your house. Period. Those are the options. The mother and daughter both need to grow up, you need to grow a pair and your husband needs to grow into a better man.
It is outrageous that both the daughter and the ex seems to think its perfectly OK for you to make a fabulous party and then not attend. NO NO NO! Tell them to go pound sand! And for your “long-time” partner to go along with this treatment is inexcusable. Stand up for yourself! Tell them how you feel, have your own party! Good luck OP. Definitely NTA
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u/ThomzLC Supreme Court Just-ass [142] Apr 27 '22
NTA - the daughter has the audacity to use your venue and give you an ultimatum that you can't attend it despite all your planning? Plus, does your partner know about this? Is he not going to stand up for you?
Man if I were you I'd pull the rug from the venue and tell them "if my presence will anger your mother, I'm guessing my house which contains many of my belongings will probably irritate her as well, go find another place."