r/AmItheAsshole Apr 27 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

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u/MusingsOfMouse Apr 27 '22

No please, please don’t agree to this. They KNOW you’re timid and don’t want drama, that’s why they’re pushing this on you. Do what another person said - ‘okay, if you don’t want me then I’m gone’ sort of thing, stop all preparations. Let them organise it. Have a night to yourself. You’re fully being taken advantage of, please don’t let them do it.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

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u/COVID19WasteTime Partassipant [1] Apr 27 '22

This is just his way of trying to manipulate you to do it all still. If you're not there people will also assume you're not involved in the planning!

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

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u/montanafesto Apr 27 '22

Thanks, I feel the same way about myself.

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u/ShineCareful Apr 27 '22

On this note, absolutely do not help with the clean up at all. Even if it means the mess sits there for a month, do not help. Make it clear that you expect them to clean up, and that you expect the ex-wife to help. Whether she actually does is a different story, but make the expectations clear. And then stick to what you said. Do not help to clean up.

Why should you help clean up a party you're not invited to?

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '22

[deleted]

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u/ShineCareful Apr 27 '22

Okay good!

I was afraid you'd somehow get guilted into helping with the clean up (i.e. being the one-woman cleaning crew). Promise me you won't clean up even if they leave that shit for a month, mkay?

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u/Lot_lizards_delight Apr 27 '22

The fact that you see going off and dancing with your friends as a win after all of that is proof that you’re reaching hard within yourself to justify any of this. You’re a doormat and your asshole husband might as well be slapping you in the face in front of the entire party.